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blog post - what not to say to a friend who has had weight-loss surgery



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I wrote this today after a weekend of hearing ridiculous comments from people who would say they are friends. Just wanted to post it here because I'm sure many of you can relate. Feel free to link someone to it if they're that "well meaning friend."

http://www.kerryfaler.com/2013/07/08/what-not-to-say-to-a-friend-who-has-had-weight-loss-surgery/

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Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Everyone isn't going to feel the same way, some want the weight loss to be noticed and acknowledged others don't. Here's my thoughts on it, if you don't like what someone is saying or if you feel uncomfortable tell the person....correct them (firmly but politely) if you do like what they say embrace their words and say THANK YOU. In my opinion sometimes we worry too much about what others are thinking and saying rather than taking that energy to focus on making ourselves better.

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I wrote this today after a weekend of hearing ridiculous comments from people who would say they are friends. Just wanted to post it here because I'm sure many of you can relate. Feel free to link someone to it if they're that "well meaning friend."

http://www.kerryfaler.com/2013/07/08/what-not-to-say-to-a-friend-who-has-had-weight-loss-surgery/

Your blog entry was great!!! Thanks so much for sharing. I'm 5 weeks out and lost 30 pounds so far so I haven't had these comments yet. But I can see myself thinking them in my head if anyone does say these things. Happy birthday tomorrow!!! :-)

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Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Everyone isn't going to feel the same way, some want the weight loss to be noticed and acknowledged others don't. Here's my thoughts on it, if you don't like what someone is saying or if you feel uncomfortable tell the person....correct them (firmly but politely) if you do like what they say embrace their words and say THANK YOU. In my opinion sometimes we worry too much about what others are thinking and saying rather than taking that energy to focus on making ourselves better.

that's why I said "everyone is different" and "I may be more sensitive" several times. these are all things that have been said to me enough that I felt the need to write about it.

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Loved your blog! :)

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A very witty blog! Thanks for sharing!

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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

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I just loved your blog!!! There used to be rules about making comments to people about personal body issues. Now it's just a free-for-all. Along with Money Management, I think we need etiquette classes. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy. Our grandmothers had decorum - they had the good sense not to say whatever popped into their head.

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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

And you DO look fabulous. Mahvelous, my dear, simply MAH-velous.

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Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh' date=' you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.[/quote']

Lmao

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Your blog entry is spot on! Thanks for sharing.

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Happy Birthday!

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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