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IS ANYONE EMBARRASSED TO TELL PEOPLE YOU ARE HAVING THE SURGERY? I WORK WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE AND HAVEN'T TOLD ANYONE. I HAVEN'T EVEN TOLD ALL MY SISTERS OR MY BEST FRIEND. I GUESS I'M A LITTLE EMBARRASSED AND ALSO DONT WANT EVERYONES OPINION OF WHETHER I SHOULD DO IT OR NOT. I ALMOST FEEL LIKE IM HIDING THIS HUGE BAD SECRET.

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I don't blame you. Their is a lot if prejudice towards overweight people. Know that you have a lot of us just like you and we support you!

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I didn't tell anyone I work with. I only told my hubby and best friend. I didn't want the judgement, attitude or opinions of others who had no idea what it is like to be morbidly obese. I'm glad I didn't tell. When people ask, I tell them I am eating far less calories which are 90% Protein and exercising regularly. Both of which are 100% truthful.

I wasn't embarassed about the actual surgery, I was embarassed that I had let myself get to the point of needing surgery. I'm so glad I have my sleeve now.

Best of luck to you!

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You don't need to tell people. If they ask how you are losing the weight just tell them you are making Lifestyle changes for better health.

I'm only planning on telling people I know who will support me in my decision.

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Nope, I'm not EMBARASSED, ashamed nor do I lie to others. I just don't tell them.

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I only told my mother and my husband (because I couldn't have done it without their help). I'm just not ready to come out of the pantry yet, and I may not!

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Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I work with many nutritionist and I know that I would get an ear full of why they think I shouldn't do it. Specially since I've already lost 30lbs on my own. I've heard the conversations they've had about other people that have had surgery. I don't want to be the talk of the work place. Plus everyone judges without knowing what its like. Thanks guys! This makes me feel so much better. Surgery date june 3rd! Can't wait! :)

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Nope I live in a small town and most ppl have lived here their whole life w/o ever visiting the "big city" the news would spread like wildfire, then they would add on that the reason I had to get the sleeve was because I had an incurable venereal disease..that I got from...well you get the idea...nope my lips are sealed.

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Nope' date=' I'm not EMBARASSED, ashamed nor do I lie to others. I just don't tell them.[/quote']

I agree! I'm not embarrassed or ashamed either. I do not lie about it. I do, however, choose to share my story.

If I didn't choose to share it I would not be deceptive but just point out, if someone wouldn't take a polite "pass", that its a personal/invasive question.

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I work with a bunch of gossipy busy bodies. I didn't tell any of them. They just think I went to San Diego

My sister knew afterwards

My three best friends who are also lapband buddies knew beforehand and were excited

My husband and kids knew

That is it.

People by nature are judgmental, it is up to you about how much you want to share.

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I'm glad to hear others feel the same. I am just in the initial stages of the process - just met the surgeon this week and am starting the 3 month long "multi-disciplinary program" my insurance requires. My surgery date is tentatively scheduled for October, which feels so far away right now.

I haven't told anyone yet, and I'm not sure I will. I mentioned to an acquantance that I was thinking about having the surgery, and she immediately said something like "you don't want to do that!". I think most people don't have any idea what it's like to have 100+ pounds to lose, and therefore, really don't understand. Pretty much all of my friends are thin. I wouldn't say that I'm embarassed or ashamed, but at this point in my journey, I don't want to hear remarks like that. I'm not even sure I will tell my family (at least not right away). I may have to ditch them on Thanksgiving this year, lol. But I may be more open to sharing after I have had the surgery...time will tell.

Oh, plus since I don't have insurance approval yet, I'm worried that something will happen and I won't be able to get the surgery...so I definitely don't want to tell anyone/everyone and then have to tell them it's not happening! :(

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I've only told my parents, aunt, husband, and best friend. That's all I'm telling for now - at least until it's over. After the surgery, I may tell others. I haven't decided yet. :)

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When people found out we had surgery we gave the answer " we're spending our kids inhearatance"

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I'm curious about something.

Does it matter how other ppl feel about your WLS decision/journey?

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I'm not embarrassed or ashamed...I'm so grateful there is something out there to help me, BUT it's no one's business. My husband & my best friend from out of state know. I also told my one neighbor who doesn't talk to the other neighbors because I may need help with my youngest (special needs) son. It's nobody's business. I haven't even told my teen son, I'm only going to tell him I'm having hernia surgery. As for anyone else, once they see a weight loss, then I will just say "better choices, after a month long of a medically supervised special liquid diet." That will be the truth as well, right? I just don't want to hear the negative comments. I think this is one of those personal decisions that you have to make for yourself. It's not a big bad secret, its just a personal decision which will have a positive outcome.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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