Just Beginning My VSG Journey

[NewSetOfCurves 1,555]

Hello Everyone! I am very excited to begin this journey with the vertical sleeve. I am new to this site, but since my decision to begin this journey of weight loss—via surgery—I have come to love and appreciate the stories that have been shared on this site. That being said, it was inevitable that I too would become a part of this community.

My story begins with my childhood. I grew up in a small south Texas town with little to do and way too much time on my hands. My parents owned a small convenient store/bar-b-que restaurant. I was ALWAYS there and I was ALWAYS eating. I had endless amounts of chips, dips, sodas, juices, candy, ice cream, nachos, tacos, and bbq at my disposal. Kids called me Fat Kathy, Little Piggy, or chanted “Boom-baba-BOOM!” as I walked by. I was very insecure and unhappy. I turned to vomiting to purge out the excessive food I would consume. As I neared my graduation year and stretched out, along with the bulimia, I finally began to lose weight. I also became more active: athletics, long distance running, and weights. My size varied from a 7 to a 10. Even though I was a lot thinner, I was not happy. I was obsessed with my body image and the idea that I was fat. I continued my destructive path once I graduated from high school and entered college. My obsession with my body image fed into my obsession with working out, eating right, purging food that wasn’t right, and consuming weight loss supplements and laxatives. I worked out in the morning with a morning 3-5 mile run; throughout the day when I taught aerobic classes (I worked for the university’s intramural sports center), abdominal classes, and toning classes; in the evenings I strength trained to build muscle. Even though I eventually reached an all time low of 130 pounds and a size 4, I was still convinced that I was overweight and ugly. My then-boyfriend-now-husband was not allowed to touch my stomach or look at me when we were intimate because in my mind I was disgusting. Nobody could convince me otherwise.

When my husband and I eventually married and conceived our first child, I finally stopped with the bulimia, laxatives, and obsessive working out. However, the consequence was weight-gain-with-a vengeance. I was a size 6 when I found out I was pregnant, and a size 14 after I had the baby. When I had my second baby and struggled with his behavior as an autistic child, I ballooned into a 16. Then my third child came along with heart failure and the need for multiple heart surgeries. The stress from the situation aided in my weight gain and size 18 figure. Now that I am a mother of four, I vary between an 18 and a 20.

Contradicting to what one would think, I shed many of my insecurities. I think my experiences with my children helped me to overcome such pettiness and taught me to appreciate life and all the good it has to offer. Life is too short, it is here one minute and gone the next and it would be a shame to live it—or waste it—being miserable. I am now a confident woman. I love who I have become, I feel beautiful, I love to dress up and look good; I love my life, husband, and children. My children come first and I love to be active with them. I like feeling good and throughout the years I have even gone so far as to start up aerobic classes in the community to preserve that feeling. However, despite my attempts at staying active and eating healthy, I have never been able to shed the weight. I have yo-yoed up and down for these past 10 years; and it seems as if the further I yo-yo up, the less I am able to yo-yo down. I am on this path that I can’t seem to get off despite my efforts. I am still very unhappy with my weight. I have my moments when I get depressed and I feel disgusted with my body, but I don’t let me human emotions get me down too much and I try to stay positive.

An aunt of mine, who has suffered from obesity all of her life, told me about her upcoming sleeve surgery. I was surprised and awed that she would venture into this process, but her enthusiasm and praise for those she had met who had had the surgery, convinced me to look into it. Based on my weeks-and-weeks of research, information gathering from seminars, and testimonials from people like you all, I have to say I am so EXCITED to take this step. I know that I can eat healthy because I love healthy food—I just eat too much and too often; I know that I can stay active because I already am; I know that a surgery like the sleeve will help me on my journey to portion control; and I know the surgery will catch me when I attempt to fall off by over eating or eating the wrong things.

My first consultation is on April 24^th. My biggest fear is that my BMI will fail to be at 40 because I am at the borderline of qualifying with no questions asked: 38.6 BMI at my last weigh-in. I am embarrassed to admit this, but in the weeks leading up to my first consultation I have acquired a very ugly diet. I feel awful physically, but I fear if I don’t gain those 8 pounds they will not find anything wrong with me—health wise—and I will not qualify.

THANKS FOR READING MY STORY! WISH ME LUCK!!!

[toy27 62]

Hello Everyone! I am very excited to begin this journey with the vertical sleeve. I am new to this site' date=' but since my decision to begin this journey of weight loss—via surgery—I have come to love and appreciate the stories that have been shared on this site. That being said, it was inevitable that I too would become a part of this community.

My story begins with my childhood. I grew up in a small south Texas town with little to do and way too much time on my hands. My parents owned a small convenient store/bar-b-que restaurant. I was ALWAYS there and I was ALWAYS eating. I had endless amounts of chips, dips, sodas, juices, candy, ice cream, nachos, tacos, and bbq at my disposal. Kids called me Fat Kathy, Little Piggy, or chanted “Boom-baba-BOOM!” as I walked by. I was very insecure and unhappy. I turned to vomiting to purge out the excessive food I would consume. As I neared my graduation year and stretched out, along with the bulimia, I finally began to lose weight. I also became more active: athletics, long distance running, and weights. My size varied from a 7 to a 10. Even though I was a lot thinner, I was not happy. I was obsessed with my body image and the idea that I was fat. I continued my destructive path once I graduated from high school and entered college. My obsession with my body image fed into my obsession with working out, eating right, purging food that wasn’t right, and consuming weight loss supplements and laxatives. I worked out in the morning with a morning 3-5 mile run; throughout the day when I taught aerobic classes (I worked for the university’s intramural sports center), abdominal classes, and toning classes; in the evenings I strength trained to build muscle. Even though I eventually reached an all time low of 130 pounds and a size 4, I was still convinced that I was overweight and ugly. My then-boyfriend-now-husband was not allowed to touch my stomach or look at me when we were intimate because in my mind I was disgusting. Nobody could convince me otherwise.

When my husband and I eventually married and conceived our first child, I finally stopped with the bulimia, laxatives, and obsessive working out. However, the consequence was weight-gain-with-a vengeance. I was a size 6 when I found out I was pregnant, and a size 14 after I had the baby. When I had my second baby and struggled with his behavior as an autistic child, I ballooned into a 16. Then my third child came along with heart failure and the need for multiple heart surgeries. The stress from the situation aided in my weight gain and size 18 figure. Now that I am a mother of four, I vary between an 18 and a 20.

Contradicting to what one would think, I shed many of my insecurities. I think my experiences with my children helped me to overcome such pettiness and taught me to appreciate life and all the good it has to offer. Life is too short, it is here one minute and gone the next and it would be a shame to live it—or waste it—being miserable. I am now a confident woman. I love who I have become, I feel beautiful, I love to dress up and look good; I love my life, husband, and children. My children come first and I love to be active with them. I like feeling good and throughout the years I have even gone so far as to start up aerobic classes in the community to preserve that feeling. However, despite my attempts at staying active and eating healthy, I have never been able to shed the weight. I have yo-yoed up and down for these past 10 years; and it seems as if the further I yo-yo up, the less I am able to yo-yo down. I am on this path that I can’t seem to get off despite my efforts. I am still very unhappy with my weight. I have my moments when I get depressed and I feel disgusted with my body, but I don’t let me human emotions get me down too much and I try to stay positive.

An aunt of mine, who has suffered from obesity all of her life, told me about her upcoming sleeve surgery. I was surprised and awed that she would venture into this process, but her enthusiasm and praise for those she had met who had had the surgery, convinced me to look into it. Based on my weeks-and-weeks of research, information gathering from seminars, and testimonials from people like you all, I have to say I am so EXCITED to take this step. I know that I can eat healthy because I love healthy food—I just eat too much and too often; I know that I can stay active because I already am; I know that a surgery like the sleeve will help me on my journey to portion control; and I know the surgery will catch me when I attempt to fall off by over eating or eating the wrong things.

My first consultation is on April 24[sup']th[/sup]. My biggest fear is that my BMI will fail to be at 40 because I am at the borderline of qualifying with no questions asked: 38.6 BMI at my last weigh-in. I am embarrassed to admit this, but in the weeks leading up to my first consultation I have acquired a very ugly diet. I feel awful physically, but I fear if I don’t gain those 8 pounds they will not find anything wrong with me—health wise—and I will not qualify.

THANKS FOR READING MY STORY! WISH ME LUCK!!!

I had my surgery on the 4th I was 215 pounds but I had high blood pressure so I was approved I also felt the same way u did but now I feel like I should have done it myself at times & other times I am happy with my decision good luck 2 u

[NewSetOfCurves 1,555]

Thank you for your reply toy27! Do you mind sharing what makes you feel like you should have done the weight loss yourself, versus getting the surgery?

[kvlasy 195]

I wish you much success (its better than luck IMO)

[toy27 62]

Thank you for your reply toy27! Do you mind sharing what makes you feel like you should have done the weight loss yourself' date=' versus getting the surgery?[/quote']

I feel tired a lot no energy , my attitude has changed 4 the worse & I don't feel like myself 50% of the time then 50% of the time I am happy I don't know y I'm having all these mixed feeling maybe its like people say my body is going through a lot of changes I don't know I just know I don't feel like myself at all

[NewSetOfCurves 1,555]

toy27 I really hope that things get better and I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I am not a nutritionist, but at one time that was my major and based on my knowledge part of those "down" feelings could be based on the quality of nutrients you are intaking. Are you able to eat yet? Are you still on a liquid diet? Are you on ulti-vitamins? What has the doctor said? Do you think they are hormonal changes, sprung on by drastic change in your body? Sorry for the questioning, but I really want to arm myseld with as much information as possible.

[Flutterby 98]

Hi Kat2774,

I am new here to this community today too. I swear I didn't intentionally copy your topic heading. I didn't notice our title was identical until I had posted mine and saw yours a few entries below it. I guess it's a common thought to be beginning our journey. I wish you the very best success!!

Tammy

[NewSetOfCurves 1,555]

Hi Kat2774,

I am new here to this community today too. I swear I didn't intentionally copy your topic heading. I didn't notice our title was identical until I had posted mine and saw yours a few entries below it. I guess it's a common thought to be beginning our journey. I wish you the very best success!!

Tammy

It's okay Flutterby! I'm sure it is! Good luck to you!!!

[toy27 62]

toy27 I really hope that things get better and I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. I am not a nutritionist' date=' but at one time that was my major and based on my knowledge part of those "down" feelings could be based on the quality of nutrients you are intaking. Are you able to eat yet? Are you still on a liquid diet? Are you on ulti-vitamins? What has the doctor said? Do you think they are hormonal changes, sprung on by drastic change in your body? Sorry for the questioning, but I really want to arm myseld with as much information as possible.[/quote']

I see my doc 2mar & I am doing everthing right I don't know if its hormonal changes or not but sometimes I feel like I could fall out my nutritionist told me 70-85 Protein intake a day & I make sure I get that in plus my Vitamins and Fluid its not everyday I feel like this but 50% of the time I just hope this stage end & yes I'm eating mushies plus shakes

[NewSetOfCurves 1,555]

I see my doc 2mar & I am doing everthing right I don't know if its hormonal changes or not but sometimes I feel like I could fall out my nutritionist told me 70-85 Protein intake a day & I make sure I get that in plus my Vitamins and Fluid its not everyday I feel like this but 50% of the time I just hope this stage end & yes I'm eating mushies plus shakes

After seeing your response today, I noticed a lot of women posting similar experiences. Many said it went away as their bodies adjusted. I really hope it gets better for you. I have first hand knowledge of depression because I struggled with it in my late teens/early 20's. I remember not being able to get out of bed to face the world or to even crack a smile, and then switch into an "I'm fine" mode. It is struggle nobody should have to deal with. So when I say I hope it improves, I mean it with all my heart. I am glad to hear that you are eating right and following what is recommended. I will be following you progress.

[toy27 62]

After seeing your response today' date=' I noticed a lot of women posting similar experiences. Many said it went away as their bodies adjusted. I really hope it gets better for you. I have first hand knowledge of depression because I struggled with it in my late teens/early 20's. I remember not being able to get out of bed to face the world or to even crack a smile, and then switch into an "I'm fine" mode. It is struggle nobody should have to deal with. So when I say I hope it improves, I mean it with all my heart. I am glad to hear that you are eating right and following what is recommended. I will be following you progress.[/quote']

Thanks I really appreciate it