female only how does it affect your relationship/marriage afterwards?

[OnlyDownFromHere 6]

My boyfriend has been my best friend since early high school (together for 2 years, living together) and we're in our early 20s. Our sex life is good.

I'm curious as to how our relationship will change, if at all. He's seen me go from very overweight to morbidly obese. I was overweight long before we met.

I know he's not a chubby chaser (his ex was petite) but I'm wondering how dramatic weight loss will change our relationship or attraction. Does it?

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[canadianchick 30]

OnlyDownFromHere, he clearly fell in love with you for you not for your weight !! It sounds like you have good chemistry already so I'm sure it's just get better and better with your sex life anyway once you start losing weight. I say this because you will no doubt feel better about yourself and become more confident. And all men love confident woman Sounds like you have a great guy there, so relax and enjoy !!

[OnlyDownFromHere 6]

Thanks. I was well into morbid obesity when he said he wanted a relationship with me. I've never worried about him not being attracted to me but I do wonder how he will react when he sees me "normal" or very very close to a normal weight.

It's different I think when you've been married for decades and you were "normal" when you met your spouse. I'll be a whole new me to him. I hope he likes it.

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[canadianchick 30]

I'm sure he's gonna love it..and if he doesn't which I highly doubt, it's his loss !! You always were and always will be normal, just in a different sized body

[OnlyDownFromHere 6]

Thanks you eased my mind some.

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[cerenatee 90]

It does change the relationship usually. Not that they don't love you but some spouses get an insecurity the didn't have before. You can google "major weight loss relationship" and read about other people's results. In the end, if your relationship is strong, you'll work through it just fine.

My hubby is somewhat insecure but he loves me and it'll be ok. The funny thing is he's fit and gorgeous so I'm not sure what he has to be insecure about but there's no telling with the human mind.

[Carirod 18]

My husband has like 5% body fat and is beautiful. I am lucky that he supports me fully in my chouce to have wls. He says he will love me if I lose or gain a hundreds lbs. A lot of times when the relationship ends it is because the person that had the wls gets a new lease on life. Starts getting complements they never heard before from good looking people. Feels like going out when before they were a home body. So it depends not just how dedicated he is but you are. I know no matter what my weight my husband is my idea of sexy.

[OnlyDownFromHere 6]

Lol, yeah my boyfriend is very very skinny. He used to be underweight but he is more "normal" now. He eats pretty healthy too. Actually, if he eats too much on accident, he will throw up or be very uncomfortable so maybe he'll understand how I will feel in the future about needing to stick to strict portion control!

I am concerned about the insecurity bit. I would not say my boyfriend is really insecure but he gets angry at other guys who make passes at me when he's there or guys who gawk at me.

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[kelley5989 9]

I wondered this same thing. My husband was all about it a few months ago when I'd bring it up and now that I'm going to dr's appts and getting my stuff together for insurance he's really stand offish when I bring it up and changes the subject...

[OnlyDownFromHere 6]

Maybe he's just uncomfortable and worried for you? It seems like many partners are worried for us, like the risks and whatnot.

My boyfriend was very worried and not very supportive in the beginning. Once I got the chance to educate him, he has done a complete turnaround. I think he thought there was a high risk of me dying or something. It's a huge surgery yes but I wouldn't rate it as a very, very very high risk one where I could easily die on the table.

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[OneWritersSoul 353]

I'm one of those that it had a negative impact on. Cancer didn't impact my marriage the way being sleeved did. In all fairness, we were struggling prior to this, but once he saw me making positive life changes, that was it. Whatever his insecurities were, whatever doubts he had, they ALL came to the surface. He walked away.

Not everyone is the same. Most relationships come through it just fine. But some don't. Communication is essential! I'm wishing you all the best!

[apelt001 116]

Well in my case my fiance and I have been together 5 years we have a 2 year old and lived together 90% of that time. I feel like we are changing everyday, we are learnin to talk to each other almost becoming reaquainted with each other. I was sleeved jan 29 im down 68 pounds and I am no longer who I was before surgery. I am a gym-holic working out 3-5 days a week I run and am setting goals for myself, I am so confident now where before I was a couch potato who needed to be cared for now I care for myself and I care for him. We are a work in progress everyone has bad days but ours are becoming fewer and far between. Everything changes this surgery will eiter make you stronger or break you. Thats my experience best of luck.