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WHippledaddy,

Your post brought tears to my eyes. I don't think you have anything to worry about. Your wife sounds as if she loves you the way you love her. Sometimes our insecurities manifest themselves when our mates make a change. My husband met and married me when I was at that time my all time high of 270. I then since our marrage went up to 299 and now I am back to 269. He never wavered a day when I was going up and now that I am comming down I notice I must remind him all the time that he is the reason that I have the strength to do this and whether I weigh 300lbs or 180 my love for him will not change.:D

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Gee, thanks guys, your kind words make me feel good.

To answer some of your questions:

Yes my wife has had acupuncture, it worked very well, and I just found out last week that our new insurance covers it. I started working for the State a year ago and am still getting used to the fact that the benefits are AWESOME! There is more acupuncture in her future!

Patty too, will not just go willy nilly to have another neck or back fusion done. They are like a domino effect, get one done and another crops up.

She too, is on the fentanyl patch. Her injury, though partially healed, has created another disease, contracted by about five percent of the people injured in the shoulder or neck. This disease is called Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. It has many symptoms but the main one is pain. If you know someone who has recieved an injury in the head, neck, shoulder area, and are experiencing symptoms of cold hands, painful sensations in the skin (for example: a breeze blowing on their hand feels like it's immersed in fire) discolored fingers or toes, swelling in the legs or arms, get them to ask their doctor about RSD, also called Complex Regional Pain Syndrome. It must be treated as soon as possible for a good outcome.

Sorry I'm taken. But it sure made me feel good to be asked! We too have furry babies. Besides MR. Whipple there is Abby the Pug, and Abby the Poodle. It's a little tricky havine two dogs with the same name, but it works. We'd never figure out how to split them up!

And, finally, yes, one of the most appealing things about the patch is that I would be down for the shortest amount of time. I can't take a lot of time off as the breadwinner, and I can't take much time off as the caregiver. Then there is the house work, Patty does what she can, and I do the rest. So the Lap Band sounds like the best way to keep me healthy and energetic while interrupting our lives as little as possible.

Thanks again for all your kind words, and I'll visit here often.

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Whippleddaddy thanks so much for the info on RSD..my husband is having nubnessin his shoulders and left arm lately plus some numbness in his legs. My first thought was heart attack due to the numbness going down his left arm so he went in for EKG and Echo but heart is fine so I will definately ask his pain management doctor next month when I see her about RSD.This has been a battle for almost 8 years now for him. Living and loving with someone with chronic pain is sometimes very difficult..I hate to see him hurting. It has affecteds his life in so many ways..but I still love him and would not trade him in for anyone else EVER!

Thanks again for the info

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"Living and loving someone with chronic pain or a life threatening illness is sometimes very difficult." Yes, but it has also taught me to get my priorities in order. I try not to sweat the small stuff, like I used to. I'm a lot more patient and happier now. I hope that I am more understanding with other people and their particular problems.

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I hear you New Hope..not only does my hubby live in chronic pain but we have had our tragedies.Our oldest son died of cancer 6 years ago and our youngest son was diagnosed with a different cancer 3 weeks after our oldest was diagnosed., he is in remission but still struggles with a very supressed immune system and to top it off my mom died 10 days before my son so I have learned to put my priorities in order..the things I used to think were so important are not and the things that should of been then now are! I'm a much kinder person from all the kindess that was shown to me during my times of tragedy. I can relate to exactly what you are saying.

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Michelle, God had to choose very special parents that have children with cancer. The average Jo/Josephina just doesn't have what it takes! It's apparent from your postings on your younger son and your husband, that you are a very special young lady. You have a gift that many people have searched the whole world for and never found. You have compassion, love (that has no depth), and the heart of a lion to run interference with any drs. or nurses who think they might know much more than you, since you are ONLY the lowly wife or mother.

You have certainly carried a heavy load! No mother should ever have to lose their son to such a horrible disease and at such a young age. These events, some so extremely devistating and others so inspiring are what weave our life stories and help us become the person we're meant to be.

I am so in awe of you! You've been through so much, but yet you continue to be so gracious and caring to others. Thank you for joining Lapbandtalk and giving others a chance to get to know you. I think your husband and son know that they have a "keeper"

Here's to continued improved health, happiness, and less stress for everyone!

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Originally posted by La_madam

Bless your heart. You have definitely had a tough time of it.

Leatha

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Thank You New Hope and Leatha for your kind words. I appreciate it

It has been difficult but I have been very blessed ...The people in my community where so wonderful and caring and helpful to my family and I..they and the lord made it possible for us to get through all of this . One of the reasons that I'm here is becasue after all of the tragedy I was placed on an anti depressant I was 186 at the time the lowest weight I had been in in years..6 years later I was 265. It was time for me to take care of me, enough time had passed and I had grieved long enough for my son and mother but had 3 other boys (one of those boys who is still suffereing from the side affects of 3 yrs of chemo) and a daughter to think of who needed me..I knew my weight was out of control and I had to do something I was so depressed from my weight it was affecting every aspect of my life then I heard about the Lap Band from my neighboor who had had it done and was very successful...so here I am 3 months post op and down 37.5 pounds and so much happier then I have been in years.

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I definitely understand about the depression. I think it's a very common thread in obesity. I went from 118lbs to 196 in less than a year and have never gone back since. :-( I don't know which came first, the depression or the weight. I've battled it ever since. Thank God there is something now that will hopefully help to free us from that hell.

Hugs to you. You look like a beautiful lady to me.

Leatha

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I think I weighed 118 when I was 4. Leatha, that is a lot to gain so fast... did something happen to trigger it?

Michelle, I'm bad with coming up with the right words, but you know you're in my heart. Even Chris asks how you are when he sees your name in my chat box. xo

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Originally posted by DeLarla

I think I weighed 118 when I was 4. Leatha, that is a lot to gain so fast... did something happen to trigger it?

Well, I was 18 then. I lost about 14 friends and a stepfather that summer is really the only trigger I know of. It was a very traumatic time for me.

I did alot of partying during that time - self medicating, probably. Things changed. I met and married my husband - who was probably more of a rescuer than anything and I think I just turned alot of pain inside, but yea, along with the trauma of so many deaths close to me, the weight gain was devestating too, but I didn't have the tools to do much about it. I really think it was that comfort or hiding my body away from something. It was just a very tough time.

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Originally posted by DeLarla

I think I weighed 118 when I was 4. Leatha, that is a lot to gain so fast... did something happen to trigger it?

Well, I was 18 then. I lost about 14 friends and a stepfather that summer is really the only trigger I know of. It was a very traumatic time for me.

I did alot of partying during that time - self medicating, probably. Things changed. I met and married my husband - who was probably more of a rescuer than anything and I think I just turned alot of pain inside, but yea, along with the trauma of so many deaths close to me, the weight gain was devestating too, but I didn't have the tools to do much about it. I really think it was that comfort or hiding my body away from something. It was just a very tough time.

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You mean 14 of your friends died in one summer? I don't even have 14 friends, so I can't imagine losing even one of them. You probably did deal with it internally by eating for comfort.

I spent my teens self-medicating. Back then, I thought I was just partying, but I was diagnosed with severe Anxiety Disorder in my 20s. That's when my doctors told me that all my drinking was self-medicating in social atmospheres because I had social phobia. I must have really wanted to change, because at 41, I'm all about socializing!

I've hardly drank in the past decade until my port went south. Now I have to wonder if my old days are creeping back up on me, because suddenly I find myself thinking about cocktails every weekend. It's weird. Giving up the food makes me crave alcohol, I guess. I've never, ever had to fight the urge to drink booze. This is a brand new craving. Odd.

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Originally posted by DeLarla

You mean 14 of your friends died in one summer? You probably did deal with it internally by eating for comfort.

Yessum. Car wrecks, drug overdoses, drownings - I ran around with alot of party people. Seems drugs and alcohol never really come to a good end. It felt like we were a 'marked' group for awhile. I spent that summer in a state of shock really. Then, my stepfather died suddenly on top of it all and I really turned inward. I was a very traumatized young lady.

Also, I had always been quite active and did a lot of dancing, swimming, etc. I knew I had the propensity to gain weight, but I think I thought I was immune to more than a few pounds. I met my husband who didn't dance OR swim so my life basically changed to going out to eat for entertainment. I don't think I was really eating more, but I was definitely exercising less. I had some real issues with how men related to me because of my body too, so I think I basically just wrapped myself in a cocoon so no one would see me or get close to me. I think you see that pretty often in obese women.

Life definitely has a way of humbling us, don't it? ..

Leatha

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