From one eating disorder to another?

[No game 14,436]

My sleeve was 5/10/12. My facelift was 12/31/12. I was past my surgeon's goal of 155' date=' at my initial personal goal of 145. My next surgery was a Tummy Tuck and thigh lift on 2/6/13. I weighed 139 and had 4 lbs, 6 ozs taken off.

As of 3/17 I weighed 124. I haven't been able to weigh since then as I have been traveling. (Talk about stress - being away from the scale!!). I have to seriously slow and limit the weight loss or face some serious consequences and am being closely monitored by several physicians. It was a close call for traveling and I had to commit to trying hard not to lose weight.

Yes, this all happened fast. In less than a year my body has changed drastically. I do see in pictures a profound change. I only have one photo from before.

[/quote']

Wow that's a lot to go through in a year! Read what you wrote up there... Then think about how much you packed into that year!!!

You have not even had time in between each stage to really "adjust"

The one thing on this vets forum that I think would be helpful to read is a thread called what's next... Think about it, this "goal" has consumed you for a year... You might be at a place mentally that you don't really know what to do next because this has been your life for so long..

I don't know maybe make some new goals about things you want to do in life now?

[It's all new 453]

And I am so curious about your complications from losing weight too fast.

Good luck! And I am so curious about your complications from losing weight too fast.

I initially lumped together my reply to your response but decided to excerpt the portion about the complication. I'm hoping I didn't accidentally post the photo twice. Sometimes I mess up with this. But here goes:

I have signs of superior mesentaric artery (SMA) syndrome, although it is doing ok right now - meaning I am independently eating and drinking. I have been hospitalized for an inability to eat once already, in late February. I also couldn't take in fluids. I had to have a feeding tube placed - although I didn't tolerate it for long because it didn't bypass the problem. Fortunately things improved kind of spontaneously and I have been able to eat and drink. I did get some calories through my IV, so that may have helped. Or maye it was just luck. I still show a compression of the duodenum although not a full blockage thank goodness. At the time, they were totally unable to figure out the problem. Fortunately, my weight loss surgeon caught it recently.

I have been told I can lose more weight, but it has to be in a very careful, slow way. Also, I will be monitored very closely. This is a serious complication that is not a WLS complication specifically - it is a rapid weight loss complication. Rapid weight loss of any type can cause the loss of the fat pad between the SMA and the duodenum, which keeps the duodenum from being squished between the SMA and the aorta. If you read the statistics, I think it is rare enough that it's possible no one else on this site will worry about it - something like 500 cases in medical literature since it was discovered 105 yrs ago. I hesitate to share, but then of course having mentioned the words complication I should probably explain. Also, I searched and this has never been mentioned on this site according to my search. It's possible someone else may experience it - from what I read it may happen more than they think (which still makes it incredibly rare).

Anyway, that is the deal. I just have to be a lot more careful than most with my weight at this point. No more rapid weight loss unless I want very, very serious ramifications. If I push it I could send this into needing one of two treatment options - "refeeding" through a feeding tube surgically implanted through the abdomen straight to the jejunum (bypassing the stomach and therefore the blockage), or surgery to reroute where the duodenum exits my tiny tummy. Neither option is good.

[Supersweetums 1,164]

Thank you for sharing your story. I know I have posted about this before as well, and I feel very similar to you. I really struggle seeing myself the way I am and I am not happy with my body. I never dreamed I would reach my goal. Then, when I did, I was so happy for the fist few months. Then, I started to feel like I should lose more. I keep thinking, if I could only lose another 10 lbs or so, then I would be happy. This was actually one of my fears going into it, even something I discussed with my therapist and my husband...would it never be enough for me. Now I keep feeling if only I can get plastic surgery, then I will be happy. Not sure if it will happen. So just know, you are not alone. I think many people struggle with this idea. You look beautiful and I know you hear it a lot and, like me, don't believe it, but you look amazing the way you are!

[*Dean* 1,594]

Congratulations on your achievement. You look amazing.

Body dismorphia seems to be a big problem for women. As a husband and a father of daughters it makes me a little sad to be honest. At a time when you should be celebrating and shouting from the highest mountain, you don't get to enjoy properly what you've achieved

Being a bloke I can't really offer any advice. I think like a lot of guys I have reverse body dismorphia, where you lose a small amount of weight and think you look totally hot

One thing though, with your amazing and quick weight loss, I wonder if there's a bit of perfectionism there too. I struggle with this, place high expectations on myself and can at times be quite black and white in my thinking. Maybe it might be time to say 'job done' in your weightloss journey and focus your attention and talents on other things?

All the best. The issue has your attention, so I have no doubt you'll overcome this hurdle

Deano

[coops 1,790]

It's all new,

You really do look amazing! No help I know, but please believe me.

I can't really add anything other than agree with the positive comments that you've already received.

What I do know is that your awareness and intellect will getmyoumto where you want to be.

Hugs

[It's all new 453]

Thank you for sharing your story. I know I have posted about this before as well' date=' and I feel very similar to you. I really struggle seeing myself the way I am and I am not happy with my body. I never dreamed I would reach my goal. Then, when I did, I was so happy for the fist few months. Then, I started to feel like I should lose more. I keep thinking, if I could only lose another 10 lbs or so, then I would be happy. This was actually one of my fears going into it, even something I discussed with my therapist and my husband...would it never be enough for me. Now I keep feeling if only I can get plastic surgery, then I will be happy. Not sure if it will happen. So just know, you are not alone. I think many people struggle with this idea. You look beautiful and I know you hear it a lot and, like me, don't believe it, but you look amazing the way you are![/quote']

Thank you for your kindness. It is nice hearing those words, "you are not alone" - it seems the never ending Quest for better and better makes you feel that way a bit. (Just in regards to the weight loss - I have a good support system in many ways).

It's funny, you are right about the excitement of reaching what you thought was a goal. Replaced by the goal of plastic surgery. Then the excitement fades, I have seen then imperfections remaining and am back to thinking about weight loss! I thought that the plastics would be the answer. You are smart to be thinking and talking about whether it will ever be enough and how to deal with those feelings - in advance.

Thanks again for your response!

[It's all new 453]

Congratulations on your achievement. You look amazing.

Body dismorphia seems to be a big problem for women. As a husband and a father of daughters it makes me a little sad to be honest. At a time when you should be celebrating and shouting from the highest mountain' date=' you don't get to enjoy properly what you've achieved

Being a bloke I can't really offer any advice. I think like a lot of guys I have reverse body dismorphia, where you lose a small amount of weight and think you look totally hot

One thing though, with your amazing and quick weight loss, I wonder if there's a bit of perfectionism there too. I struggle with this, place high expectations on myself and can at times be quite black and white in my thinking. Maybe it might be time to say 'job done' in your weightloss journey and focus your attention and talents on other things?

All the best. The issue has your attention, so I have no doubt you'll overcome this hurdle

Deano[/quote']

Thank you - it does seem like setting a new goal might be a good idea. I think Laura mentioned it, and you seem to be saying something similar - focus on something new. I know of a certain sleeve superstar who is training for a half marathon. That won't be my solution, but it does give the idea of having more of a fitness goal and less of a weight loss goal.

[clk 3,519]

I'm glad you shared your story. I think that disordered eating, from either end of the spectrum, is just that. You didn't develop a new habit or way of thinking - it just shifted from the bad habits of an obese woman to what might be an unhealthy preoccupation with your weight/diet in a thin person.

I think that to some extent, dysmorphia really IS a normal thing for us to experience post op. The weight loss happens quickly (even in slow losers it's faster than without surgery) and we make a lot of drastic changes in our lives. After seeing something that makes us unhappy in the mirror for so long, I think it's difficult to stop nitpicking and trying for perfection. Especially when woman-focused media is constantly selling us the idea that it's never quite enough to be thin - you have to have the perfect figure, a pretty face and be well educated, too. Oh yes, and the perfect mom who balances a high powered career while somehow maintaining her sanity.

We also get an almost immediate gratification from seeing our hard work show results in our mental health, our bodies or on the scale. Once we hit goal there can be a sort of void where that preoccupation and dedication resided for however long it took to reach goal.

I think the line between fairly normal for a post op and potentially harmful comes when you reach that point where you realize it isn't enough - when you do keep going and when you see that you'd tell a beloved friend to stop losing if it were her, but because it's your reflection and your weight you continue onward in the hopes that ten more pounds will make you happy. I think you're on that line, but you're cognizant of that fact which helps immensely.

Weight loss didn't make me happy. I have a number of real-life WLS friends and guess what? WLS didn't make any of them happy, either. We think it will before surgery. We have whatever issues are in our lives that helped make us unhappy, obese, disordered eaters and we're sure that if we just lose the weight we'll love ourselves, forgive ourselves and be happier.

And in my experience, at least, that simply did not happen.

I had to find the problems that were there BEFORE the weight loss and address/resolve them as best I could to find some peace and yes, eventually some real happiness.

I am not by any stretch saying you are anorexic, but I purchased a book for my teenage stepdaughter last year that seems to be helping her a bit. Believe it or not, this book took a different approach to her illness (she is an anorexic) and instead of body affirmations the book is a diet-based approach to adjusting your body and brain so they're in sync. In her case, it has helped - her weight loss has stopped and while we haven't seen much regain, she IS eating and her blood panels show closer to normal nutritional levels. Most importantly, she seems happier with herself and more peaceful about her relationship with food. That's reassuring and it's the first time in three years we've seen anything that's come remotely close to "working" with her. The book simply addressed Vitamin deficiencies and suggested what foods to eat to correct imbalances. I doubt in your case it's worth purchasing, but perhaps visiting a library to see what the book outlines and see if you can apply it to your diet might help? It sounds crazy, but so many times I see these women posting that are unhappy or struggling in some way with food and while I know that a huge part of that is whatever food demons they entered the game with, I also feel that some of it is due to the way a lot of people super restrict their eating for long periods of time. I think diet plays a role in our mental health, too. In any case, the book is called "Answers to Anorexia" by James Greenblatt. It might be a waste of your time, but it might also include a few ways to adjust your nutritional intake so you feel a bit more balanced.

Whatever you decide, I'm sure you realize you aren't alone in this. Many people simply don't post about it, much the way we don't see a lot of posts about real struggles in maintenance or while losing. It's easy for this site to be full of cheerleaders when all is well, but break out the negativity or a real struggle and people fall back on telling you how to eat and to exercise more.

Good luck,

~Cheri

[Ms.AntiBand 2,984]

I had this problem with the labands I had. I was 104lbs without any excess skin removed so I'm assuming I actually weighed less than that. I was never happy. I was dying.. And did. Twice.

My journey with the sleeve has to be monitored to the extreme. The difference this time around is I don't have a goal to be thin. And to me, skinny is ugly. My main goal is health and happiness. Im tired of the pian and health problems associated with weight. Don't get me wrong.. I'm not doing this alone. I have a personal weight/nutritionist therapist that monitors me...plus she's my friend and we do everything together.