Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Telling a young child about surgery?



Recommended Posts

I have one child that is 6. I am having the surgery when he is out of school and with his dad for the summer. He is very observant and curious, and so I am torn about telling him. I dont want his dad to know more than having my gallbladder out, so i feel torn that I cant even tell my son because he will tell dad. Son has no filter. lol. But I need to tell him SOMETHING because he can't be running and jumping into my lap or horse playing with me for a while.

I am just uncertain as to what to tell him and how much. Did anyone decide to tell their young kids and how did it go? Any divorced parents decide on how to tell their young kids?

help?!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you told your ex you having gallbladder surgery tell your son the same thing. Kids do not have a filter so I understand. My son is too young to understand so I will just tell him Mommy has a booboo. He is three. I haven't told my father. He recently moved in with us and I know he will be totally against surgery and spend every minute trying to talk me out of it. I haven't decided when to tell him but I need to. Maybe that morning when I'm leaving for hospital ;-(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Not dealing with an ex but I do have 2 small children. I told them I had a boo-boo in my tummy and had to stay at the hospital for 2 days to get better. My 3 year old knows not to elbow, push on jump on me and that I can no longer pick her up... which I did and regreted PS.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just my 2 cents

Told my mom. she spent the entire time trying to talk me out of surgery until and including the day.

I told my dad, I was going to chicago for a couple days.....yeah i live w/ both my parents. After surgery I had a few complications and stayed an extra couple days. My mom and I decided to tell my dad that I had a haital hernia repair.

A few weeks later, he's figured out on his own that I had wls. We don't talk about it. He's not the parent he was before the stroke and I just don't feel like letting him in the door on that one.

My mom has become the more hopeful one. She's so excited and thinks I now did the right thing. I spent a solid month out of my mind w/ worry and anxiety after surgery, wasn't sleeping at all. It was not a great time. But since coming out of that, I'm so much more myself and feeling pretty good about the future.

You have a right to keep things private until you come to terms with this on your own time. You have a right be as private as you need to be until then. Telling them its gallbladder surgery is not the worst thing in the world and will give you the time you need to deal with the changes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am lucky that my ex husband and I didn't have kids lol and that my husband is so supportive, but I do have small kids. My almost 2 year old obviously won't understand the concept, but my 3 and a half year old will want to know what's going on and why she can't jump on me or be picked up. I had a hysterectomy a while back and found that the easiest was just explaining that I had an "owie" and that she needed to be careful.

You can explain it to your son as a gallbladder removal, but at 6, he may or may not get it. I would tell him that you had to go to the doctor to get better and you just need to heal up. I equated it to getting a shot for my daughter. You see the doctor, and he fixes you, but sometimes it just hurts for a little bit. And if you go that route, if he tells your ex that you have an owie from the doctor, it would fit right in line with gallbladder and you're not technically lying to your son! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a 5 year old daughter and a 10 year autistic son. I told them that I was having surgery to get rid of my big belly, my daughter at first wasn't happy about it because she said she liked hugging my big belly, but I told her that by getting rid of my belly she would get to keep daddy longer and that I would be able to run and play more with her, she liked that idea.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for the ideas. I guess since I am really at peace with the surgery, I am worrying about this instead. Lol!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×