Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

This day... ugh. (extreme drama queenage inside this post.)



Recommended Posts

(Warning: If you're a pre-op, you probably don't need to read this. I'm pretty sure it's all an effect of dehydration and hormones and won't be the most encouraging thing to take in right now. With that said, if you do read this, please know, I'd still get this surgery again in a heartbeat. It's actually been much easier than I could have ever hoped.)

I don't even feel like I have the mental capacity to make this a complete paragraph. This will be a lamentation in list form.

1) I'm hungry and I'm tired of liquids, popsicles, and jell-o. I'm still on my clear liquid phase until my post-op follow-up on Monday.

2) I'm so freaking emotional. I know why I'm emotional, the sudden weight loss, hormones released, etc. Knowing why doesn't make it feel better or make me more rational in this moment, though.

3) Having actual hunger pains now is really bothering me a bit, and giving me these little moments of panic. I literally have not eaten in two weeks. Yes, I've had Protein drinks here and there, but not every day, and I'm still fighting to get all my liquids in every day right now, so Water is taking precedence. Yes, I know I'm not going to die of starvation. I have plenty of stores built up, but again, rational thoughts blah blah blah yada yada yada... no comprende.

4) Today was the first day I had that thought again of "What have I done?" I had it a day or two post-op and it passed. I'm not sitting here thinking it right now, but it did drift back through today.

5) I had this dream last night that refuses to stop floating through my mind and is absolutely torturing me. I dreamed that I made a plain turkey burger and folded a piece of the most amazing bread I have ever seen around it. The turkey burger was really juicy for some reason and soaked into the bread and was the most incredible, ecstasy-inducing thing I have ever placed in my mouth. No seasonings, no condoments. Just a heaven sandwich.

6) I am effing over this stupid drain in my stomach. I've had double the drainage since day before yesterday and I'm afraid the surgeon will say I need to keep it when I see him on Monday. If he says that, I'm afraid I'm going to say he's going to need to keep my fist in his face as well. (Okay, I'd never say that. I love my surgeon. He's the best.)

7) I texted my best friend yesterday. She's been a wonderful support in this, and is also an RN, so has been there to help with some advice a couple of times post-op. I told her that I was really missing chocolate on Valentine's Day. (I swear I haven't spent the whole time thinking of food. I've been remarkably okay without it. The turkey burger dream and the chocolate have been the only two occurrences.) She said, "One square won't hurt you. Couldn't you just let one square melt on your tongue?" That's when I suddenly remembered that I really do have to be so careful who I talk to about food. I'm still on Clear Liquids because I had the majority of my stomach removed. I'm not going to jump from that to a square of chocolate. Also, if I were able to be satisfied with one square of chocolate, I wouldn't have needed this surgery. Also, just... wtf crazy lady? What an incredibly inapropriate suggestion.

I know that all of this is 100% because of hormones, and I can tell I'm also dehydrated today. I'm way behind on my liquid intake for the day. I was just assaulted with this extreme lethargy from the moment I awoke and every sip just feels like so much work, and I'm really fighting this part of me today that says I don't care. Just... eff it. (Only less politely.) For some reason, every sip I take is making me feel immediately full. I haven't had any full feelings prior to today. I'm really sleepy right now and all I want to do is just go to sleep, but I know I've got to get some more Fluid in, because I really can tell I'm on the edge with a slight headache and a little dizzy. Plus, I spent a good amount of time sobbing today, and I think I may have cried out everything I took in.

Okay, please don't jump on me. I know I was never told this would be easy, and that I have to work this for myself. I'm normally very docile and compliant. I just really needed to set politeness and the fear of what people will think of me aside for just a moment and say all of this. I'm feeling so alone in it. None of my friends will understand this as well as you all will.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hang in there hunny it will get better I promise. I am so proud of you for sticking to your clear liquid diet, to me thet was the hardest. Keep your head up do what you have to and remember these feeling your having will pass. Good luck we are here for you :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lol!! I love the disclaimer In the beginning for pre ops!!

You sound right in track!! Text book reactions! And you knew to expect it which is great..

Shoot you actually left me with nothing to say or explain :P

Hang in there!

( yep that's all you get is an over used weak saying like hang in there)

Edit; oops just saw the other hang in there!!! Sorry it's an awesome sentiment :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. I will take as many hang in theres as I can get. Knowing that other people went through this and survived really helps. Except, I don't know if I should read them because the minute I saw both of your responses I started crying again. God, help me. I am really pathetic right now!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Everything you're feeling is NORMAL. Your hormones are out of whack, I had alot of EMO days in the beginning, but less these days as I have gotten used to this way of eating, my little meals, taking my Vitamins and not fighting the regimen. It feels normal and not stressful. You will feel better as you begin moving through the stages of eating and feeling full on very little. Keep up those fluids!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

On the bright side, I'm losing two or three pounds a day. I'm pretty sure that's outstanding.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I couldn't tell you how many times I crawled into bed and cried that first month!!!

And for no reason really! I'm mean sometimes it was just because I wanted to eat! Not even that I was hungry I just wanted my tasty friends back!

When you are three months out and losing lots of weight this will all be worth it.. I promise :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I promise you it gets better. I think the first week is the hardest emotionally.... I'm only 8 weeks out but my surgery feels like such a long time ago... I WILL get better....just try to hang in there...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for posting this. I don't feel so alone now, at this moment. Your words could be mine. I added insult to my feelings by thinking who euphoric I was right after surgery. Hugs to you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you for posting this. I don't feel so alone now, at this moment. Your words could be mine. I added insult to my feelings by thinking who euphoric I was right after surgery. Hugs to you.

**by thinking HOW euphoric I was

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, I just read all the responses.... I see that my "hang in there" was not very original! LOL.... :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry I was just trying to funny to cheer her up Dana.

I don't think it worked, I just hate seeing people so sad :(

I don't miss those early days....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you. I will take as many hang in theres as I can get. Knowing that other people went through this and survived really helps. Except, I don't know if I should read them because the minute I saw both of your responses I started crying again. God, help me. I am really pathetic right now!

By the way, your dimples are adorable! I would love love love to have those dimples!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

will take as many hang in theres as I can get. - God, help me. I am really pathetic right now!

katikati

hi newbie

welcome to the board :)

yes, as everybody today and tomorrow will always say - things do get better, they really do :) i promise!!!!

the "beginning" can be very hard :(

but i know you will come through to the "other' side!!! :)

take care

get a tissue and dry your pretty eyes :)

why are you up now??? its after 1:00 am!!!!!

i'm tired thinking about the time :o

i think i am going to close my eyes now and..........

oooops did i doze offffff?????

night all :)

proudgrammy - over, but never out!!!!! :lol: :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

In the begining I didn't have any depression, now I do some what. Don't know why either? I guess everything about this process has been slow so I guess why not the depression lol. You will be fine I promise, let all of those emotions and tears out, cause really soon you will be feeling alot better. Especially when you see and feel your weight loss.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×