what have I done?

[katikati 127]

Okay, I know I've read repeatedly that this is a very common feeling, but I've been struggling with it so much the last two days in the hospital. I woke up this morning when they brought my Breakfast tray in and just felt instantly depressed all over again. I'm really struggling with this. What have I done to my body? Was this really necessary? I know with every Fiber of my being that the answer to the latter is a resound, "YES." I had to do this if I wanted to be happy again and enjoy life. As a matter of fact, I needed this if I wanted to live at all. I wasn't going to last long the direction I was quickly headed.

I'm just so scared I'll stay in this one spot, trying to get down a Protein shake that smells and tastes horrible, a body that feel strange and hurts in weird places. How long did this phase last for those of you that experienced. I'm so incredibly depressed and tearful, and I know I'm worrying my mom to no end. She's been so sweet to me and right here the whole way. She has had to sleep sitting up in a chair and is at her own wit's end. I pray they do discharge me today, as the surgeon mentioned. I need that as much as she does.

Well, as I was writing this, the surgeon came in, asked me some questions, and said I could go home. That definitely helps me a bit. I'll write more later. In the mean time, I would really like to hear from other people who experienced the "what have I done?" feeling. How did you deal with it, and how long did it last?

[Huntingnurse 510]

I felt the same way the first week.... it goes away. I'm stoked I'm losing. Can you honestly say you would have had the will power/ability to keep it off for good if you HADNT gotten the surgery? I realized that I couldnt. I have been struggling with my weight for 20 years (I'm 33)... I know this is the ONLY way that I'll be able to lead a normal healthy life. Just think about that and be honest with yourself and it will help you come to terms with it. Do I still miss being able to sit down and eat my whole meal at Outback? you bet... That's the hardest part for me right now is seeing an awesome meal and not being able to really make a dent in it. That's ok though - I'll have leftovers

[IMWORTHIT2013 18]

Hi It sure sounds like we had the same surgery date .. FEb 6th. I too went through the same feelings. I actually went home Thursday after surgery. I was MISERABLE andwas weepy too. MY husband has been incredible through all of this. I was self pay so this was all my decision. Did I really need to do this? I kept asking myself in the hospital. Yesterday was the worst day of all days. I was miserably sick and just wanted to crawl under a rock and die. Today I feel a lot better. I think a lot of this was due to the anestesia used not theprocedures. Answering my own questions of did I need to do this - the answer was yes! They found a paraespohogal hiatial hernia that could have been major down the road that was repaired durning the surgery. I think we both need to keep our eyes on the prize and realize it will take a lot of hard work to get to our goal. This is about changing our lives not just a quick fix and boom we are thin. YOu need to want toget better and keep a positive frame of mind, I know right now that may be hard but it has helped me through all of this. Everyday is better! Just think in 6 months your gonna be incredible! Lets stay in touch and hope you feel better soon.. Yesterday I could hold NOTHING down. Today I am on my second Protein Shake and drinkinga G2. Feeling so much better than BM. I am on IV fluids at home for dehydration as perscribed when I left hospital as a precaution. Maybe you should ask your doctor to do the same. IT has made a huge difference in how I feel! Stay strong and know you did the right thing - for your life!

[CA712 111]

I am sorry to hear that you are depressed and wondering if you made the right decision. This is a really serious , life changing surgery and I think reality is just starting to set in with you. there is no going back. I have read a few posts from others that have stated the same things you are and I think this is pretty normal at this point; just give yourself a week or two and you will start to feel better. Once you start to see the weight come off I think you will realize you made the right decision for yourself. My surgery is in 1 month from now and I am still wondering if I am doing the right thing but I know I have to do this in order to get my life back. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Your mom is a great support system to you and you have medical folks around you to help too. Good Luck and I will send happy, positive thoughts your way. I know I am going to need all the support I can get when I have my surgery. Take care and think positive.

[No game 14,436]

What have you done ??

Why, my dear, you made one gigantic and yes scary step in the right direction for a healthier life!

It's hard in the beginning... But when the healing and pain are done you will not regret it

It does get tough sometime yes, but that's what we signed up for. Treat yourself good and know that everyone has moments like this. But we are most happy we did it!

P.S. it's normal in the first month or so to experience several bouts if "sadness" over this surgery. So I find it best to go into this knowing that it will be a normal part of our "journey". Its good so you can recognize when it happens, and be ok with it and know its going to get better.

Good luck to you

[StayMal 104]

Listen here, don't u dare panic on us now. I am absolutely positively sure u made the right choice because u wanted to have long term better health. I also had those same thoughts that crossed my mind when I wanted to dig in on a double cheeseburger with fries. That's also the kind of foods that got me in trouble with my health. It gets better, after u saw the weight coming off it made me realize why I did this in the first place. I hated what I had become and what I looked like. I love what I look like and love how I feel now. I can't stop looking in the mirror smiling. Stay strong and hang in there baby. It was rough for me in the beginning but we knew it was gonna be rough but also knew it would get better as the days go by. Keep me posted and good luck to u.

[mom2five 292]

I felt the "what have I done" feeling for one day in the hospital because I was so nauseated. I discovered it was the pain meds causing the nausea. That feeling goes away pretty quickly. I felt a lot better once I got home... every single day gets better and better. I'm a little over 2 weeks out now, and I feel almost normal again. I say "almost" because I can't eat much of anything and that is not my "normal" but it is my NEW normal... :-)

[JeffA70 200]

I woke up in the hospital the morning after my surgery deeply depressed and thinking the same thing you are. I'm never depressed, but this was real and difficult and unexpected. My wife hadn't arrived for the day yet, no friends were online, and I felt very alone, with just my depression to keep me company.

As everyone has said, it passes. You have no doubt done the right thing, although it's so hard to see from where you are now. Press on... It gets better.