what have I done?
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Okay, I know I've read repeatedly that this is a very common feeling, but I've been struggling with it so much the last two days in the hospital. I woke up this morning when they brought my Breakfast tray in and just felt instantly depressed all over again. I'm really struggling with this. What have I done to my body? Was this really necessary? I know with every Fiber of my being that the answer to the latter is a resound, "YES." I had to do this if I wanted to be happy again and enjoy life. As a matter of fact, I needed this if I wanted to live at all. I wasn't going to last long the direction I was quickly headed.
I'm just so scared I'll stay in this one spot, trying to get down a Protein shake that smells and tastes horrible, a body that feel strange and hurts in weird places. How long did this phase last for those of you that experienced. I'm so incredibly depressed and tearful, and I know I'm worrying my mom to no end. She's been so sweet to me and right here the whole way. She has had to sleep sitting up in a chair and is at her own wit's end. I pray they do discharge me today, as the surgeon mentioned. I need that as much as she does.
Well, as I was writing this, the surgeon came in, asked me some questions, and said I could go home. That definitely helps me a bit. I'll write more later. In the mean time, I would really like to hear from other people who experienced the "what have I done?" feeling. How did you deal with it, and how long did it last?