A thread for Single Bandsters

[clarityseeker 1]

Hi, I am a single bandster -- my husband died in 2005, and I have recently returned to the dating scene. It's totally strange to be 41 and single, but I'm trying to make the most of it. I read some posts about disclosing that you have the band, but I had an experience recently where it wasn't the scars that gave me away, but the port. I am grateful that I have lost the amount of weight that I have -- don't get me wrong -- but it is impossible to be at all intimate with someone (if I'm laying down) without my port being very easy to feel. I'm wondering how to handle it -- I guess I am just going to tell the guy before things get that intimate, but I kind of wish that I had a little more control over it. I love the knifing accident explanation....maybe I can come up with a creative explanation for the bump on my stomache!!

[ser123 0]

HAHA! Knifing accident! Love it too but missed it the first time.

What about a microchip of some kind to monitor some internal process?

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Good for you Wootsie!! Donny is not worth your time or energy. I am so excited for you and hope your date goes well!!!!

Hi Clarity - my port is already starting to protrude a little bit so I can only imagine what it will be like at goal. I told the guy I'm dating now before we fooled around, so he was well aware of it. I think at the end of the second date I came clean about the surgery. Early, I know, but I had been obsessing ever since I had surgery on how/when to tell someone, so I just said screw it and told him.

So I am still dating tattoo boy and we have agreed to be exclusive. Not necessarily boyfriend/girlfriend type thing just yet, just agreeing not to see anyone else. Man, do you think I have committment issues? lol. I don't, but I do have trust issues and that's been hard. I guess this is my baggage that I can thank my ex for. Ugh! But we'll see how things go - one day at a time.

No more dates with the guy with the long hair Kristi? You're a hot mamma - get out there and get us some stories! lol

[wootsie73 0]

Ok Guys,

It finally happened! I went out with my Dallas guy last night and had a great time. He took me to his house where he had flowers waiting for me, then he cooked me dinner. I was quit impressed actually. The giant TV was really cool, but we didn't watch it long. lol I don't know if I will see him again or not, but even if I don't, it was a wonderful evening. Now for the bad news. I was supposed to meet the other guy for lunch yesterday and I was late. I saw him walk right past me leaving the resturant, but I couldn't catch him. So, I don't know if he will talk to me again, but I think he probably will since I was out shopping for something cute to wear to meet him. Hopefully, I will hear from them both again. Daniel didn't say he would call me lalter or anything, but I think he probably will. So, that's my life today. Hope you all have a great weekend.

~Joan~

[wootsie73 0]

Donny is a game player. I like him less and less the more I know. You definitely don't need that in your life. These new guys sound like a lot of fun and are willing to take you out and wine and dine you. Have a ball!

I think you are exactly right Susan. Now that I'm going out and having a good time, he's decided he wants to be with me. Like I said, it's his loss not mine, because he could have had me months ago and I wasn't good enough for him then. So, the games are over with him. I had a good time last night with my Dallas guy, but he wasn't the end all be all I thought he would be. That's ok though, he still bought me flowers, cooked me dinner, and romanced me some, well a lot lol, which is more than Donny ever did. I just hope the other guy here talks to me again since I was really wanting to meet him.

~Joan~

[ser123 0]

Well Joan,

The best part about dating is that you can go out with someone several times before they become your boyfriend. I say if you had a nice time, and you are asked out again, there is no harm in going. Hopefully you will be able to explain what happened to the other guy and you all will be able to meet.

It is very exciting to go on dates and be treated like a lady by a nice guy. It makes you tolerate a whole lot less crap from men who won't step up and be gentlemen. If Donny wants to be with you he will quit talking about it and start doing something about it.... like sending flowers, asking you to go out, etc. If he doesn't DO anything, then he is still playing mind games. And at this point, if you have all these other guys in line, then he just may have to wait... or his window of opportunity may have closed. Just my opinion, of course.

[wootsie73 0]

Well Joan,

The best part about dating is that you can go out with someone several times before they become your boyfriend. I say if you had a nice time, and you are asked out again, there is no harm in going. Hopefully you will be able to explain what happened to the other guy and you all will be able to meet.

It is very exciting to go on dates and be treated like a lady by a nice guy. It makes you tolerate a whole lot less crap from men who won't step up and be gentlemen. If Donny wants to be with you he will quit talking about it and start doing something about it.... like sending flowers, asking you to go out, etc. If he doesn't DO anything, then he is still playing mind games. And at this point, if you have all these other guys in line, then he just may have to wait... or his window of opportunity may have closed. Just my opinion, of course.

I think you are so right Susan. It was very nice being treated like a lady and I won't put up with less from now on. Donny's problem is that he just doesn't get it. Daniel didn't talk about another woman the entire night I was with him, while that's all Donny ever talks about. When I asked Daniel where the restroom was, he held my hand and walked me there instead of just telling me where it was. Just a couple of differences between the 2.

I've also gotten a couple of offline messages from Steve, so I'm sure we will eventually meet. Hopefully sooner than later.

Clarity, you could always tell a guy your port site was a benign tumor your doctor decided not to remove. Just a thought.

~Joan~

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[wootsie73 0]

Well Guys,

The Dallas guy turned out to be a real jerk! I went over to his house and he cooked dinner for me, bought me flowers, then pounced on me while I was sitting on the couch while he was cooking, at his instance. Anyway, the date went well, but then he wrote me an email and told me he liked younger, trimmer, and more firm ladies with much longer hair. Then he said he didn't like my voice because it was to raspy for his liking. What a jerk! He knew all of those things about me before we met, because I talked to him on the phone several times. He had very recent pics of me, so he knew how fat I was and that I wore glasses, something else he didn't like. He didn't like that I smelled like cigarette smoke, my daughter smoked on the way for me to drop her off at work, I didn't smoke. Anyway, I basically told him where he could go and that he was a lousy kisser, which he was, and that he thought he was 1000 times cooler than he was just because he had a hot car. Don't think I will be hearing from him again, what do ya'll think? It gave me great satisfaction to tell his sorry butt off though.

Now for the other guy, Steve. Thing are going a little better with him, but not much. We were supposed to meet for lunch on the same Friday I went to the other guys house for dinner, but I was late and he ended up having to go back to work. So, we met Monday at Starbuck's. Things were going very well I thought, but he told me he was going to move his truck next to mine, which we were sitting in, but he left instead. Well, me being the way I am, I sent him offline messages and emails and told him what a jerk I thought he was to. But, he replied and explained that he was very allergic to our dogs that ride in the car all the time and he was sick by the time he got to his vehicle. I told him that was no excuse for what he did. So, he asked me out again, and I've decided to go, but I told him if he ever did anything like that again I would never speak to him again. I said some pretty nasty things to him and I also told him I wouldn't say mean things to him as long as he didn't dump me in a parking lot again. He said he wouldn't, so I'm going to give him one last chance, but if he screws up again, he's history too. I don't have time nor patience for this game playing.

So that's what's been going on. Some of you told me to keep you posted. I will let you know how the next date goes.

~Joan~

[NewBeginnings2018 81]

Wow Joan I can barely keep up with you and your men! lol. I love that you keep us posted - definitely keep doing it! I"m glad you told those guys off - both of them! I"m not so sure about giving Steve another chance, but if you think it's worth a shot - go for it. From the sounds of it you won't let him treat you badly without getting an earful. You go girl!

Sorry I haven't been around in a while. Things have been busy. I'm still dating tatoo boy and things are going pretty well so far. We'll see! Hope everyone else is doing well!

[wootsie73 0]

Wow Joan I can barely keep up with you and your men! lol. I love that you keep us posted - definitely keep doing it! I"m glad you told those guys off - both of them! I"m not so sure about giving Steve another chance, but if you think it's worth a shot - go for it. From the sounds of it you won't let him treat you badly without getting an earful. You go girl!

Sorry I haven't been around in a while. Things have been busy. I'm still dating tatoo boy and things are going pretty well so far. We'll see! Hope everyone else is doing well!

Well Chrispy,

The only reason Steve is getting a second chance is because he took me and my daughter telling him off and he still wants to see me. In fact, I told him off twice and all he said was thank you for all your kind words and compliments, so he knew he deserved it. He is out of town right now and we are supposed to go out next week when he gets back, so we will just have to see how it goes. He only gets 1 more chance though then he will be history to if he screws up! I don't take a lot of crap from men, period.

~Joan~

[MissyC 0]

Woo hoo Joan, you go you fiesty gal!!!

I joined that plentyoffish website and nada. The ummm...fish aren't biting.

I must need a different kind of bait.

:tea:

[wootsie73 0]

Woo hoo Joan, you go you fiesty gal!!!

I joined that plentyoffish website and nada. The ummm...fish aren't biting.

I must need a different kind of bait. :eek:

:Banane30: :frog:

Missy,

What you have on your profile on plentyoffish will make a huge difference in the response you get. I didn't meet Daniel on that site, but he's on there. I don't think he's having much luck either, because he keeps changing his profile and puts a different pic up everyday now. Serves his sorry butt right! I have added some new pics and have changed up my profile some, and I've gotten 2 new messages since last night. So, if you don't get responses, just change some things around.

And yes, I'm very feisty and plan to stay that way. I've worked my entire life to get this way and I don't plan to change now! LOL

I think the big date with Steve is going to be Wednesday, but I'm still not sure since he's still out of town. I'll let ya'll know how it goes.

~Joan~

[flabuless 18]

Ha Ha I love this thread...my name is Becky and I am 28 and have recently come out of a 4 year relationship with an absolute ars*h*le !!!thank goodness. we have been separated for 18months and I am just starting legal proceedings to divorce... I haven't had 'ANY' for more than 2 years now...hehehe cant believe I am telling y'all this...and Gosh I am itching for it...I haven't been dating as after the divorce I moved 4min walk down my parents street...bad move...but as there was 2 kids in the mix it has been a lifesaver for me to have them so close...ok so I am sooooo... ready to move on...physically at least... and I am looking more and more beautiful everyday...but emotionally I really feel bad for the man that is game enough to take me on.hehehe! I am too much of a handful...I hope to find THAT guy...that will accept me for me weight and all and perhaps...I have found that in an unlikely corner...but watch this space...maybe...who knows?

:eek: becky

[wootsie73 0]

Ha Ha I love this thread...my name is Becky and I am 28 and have recently come out of a 4 year relationship with an absolute ars*h*le !!!thank goodness. we have been separated for 18months and I am just starting legal proceedings to divorce... I haven't had 'ANY' for more than 2 years now...hehehe cant believe I am telling y'all this...and Gosh I am itching for it...I haven't been dating as after the divorce I moved 4min walk down my parents street...bad move...but as there was 2 kids in the mix it has been a lifesaver for me to have them so close...ok so I am sooooo... ready to move on...physically at least... and I am looking more and more beautiful everyday...but emotionally I really feel bad for the man that is game enough to take me on.hehehe! I am too much of a handful...I hope to find THAT guy...that will accept me for me weight and all and perhaps...I have found that in an unlikely corner...but watch this space...maybe...who knows?

:mad: becky

Well Becky,

I haven't had any in 24 years, so you should consider yourself lucky girl! I could have with Daniel, but I'm very glad I didn't since he turned out to be such a jerk. Maybe I will with Steve, but not sure about that yet. We did discuss the things that were such a huge issue to Daniel and Steve doesn't have a problem with it, so we will just have to see. You know it's funny, because I thought Daniel was the one and was just dying to meet him. But after meeting Steve, I could care less about Daniel. Funny how those things work out sometimes.

~Joan~