I have worked for a company for over 15 years and the small office I work in collects money every month for things that come up...like if someone dies, gets sick etc. That way we can send flowers or whatever and not have to have a collection. Before my surgery, two other gals in the office went out on disability and instead of just using our collected funds we also threw one a second baby shower and the other one that had abdominal surgery we all got together and put together a basket of clear fluids for her post op...including some vodka (lol) but also had magazines and things for her to do. I even took the time and made a card for her from all of us.

So my issue is this...I got nothing and my feelings are really hurt. I cannot understand why my own office would not even send me a card when we send people in other offices cards and flowers when they are out. I don't want to have these feelings of resentment but I do.

On top of all of this, I get daily emails or texts from them about my work stuff that they do not know how to do. No one bothered them or called them when they were recovering except to ask how they were...I don't even get that! And when I said something like I guess you are finally seeing some of what I actually do and why I end up staying at work so late, I got "well let me play my little violin for you".

Up until now I thought these people were "friends" or at least friendly coworkers of mine and I don't know how to handle this. I am a pretty upfront person, if I feel one way I will say it but I am not even sure what or how to say something at this point.

I was completely serious

lmao you crack me up. AND IT HURTS. I'm fresh out of surgery dammit!

This sucks, my daughter experienced the same thing.

She was the one who organized all parties, luncheons, gifts etc for coworkers.

When she was promoted and left her branch.... NOTHING was done for her not even a card even when it had always been done for everyone by her efforts per the team manager.

It's upsetting and I'm so sorry.

Some people really suck!!!

Oh and I'm adding to say no one tell me anything to debate what I said because some people do suck and that's a fact, jack

Hahaha

RIght what she said.......lol I meant everything I said so totally serious.

I have found throughout life myself in these same types of situation, and I've come up with a pretty powerful reason ( at least in my own head).

In this world there are three types of people: there are givers, there are takers, and there are "kind hearted wannabes "that don't want to step on toes but are truly oblivious to other people's feelings.

I myself am a giver, and somehow always find ways to surround myself with other takers and one idiot. You can give and give and the people around you begin expecting it and get put out when they have to put forth just a tiny but of effort to keep peace. It is exhausting. The BEST thing I've ever done has been to completely walk away from all those relationships. I tried shutting them out emotionally and still kept myself around them, but then in their minds you just become a stuck up b***h ( excuse the sailor in me). I understand this is your place of work and completely get that it it virtually impossible to fathom "just walking away" from your job, but trust me deep down when you do, you will feel a huge weight lifted off your shoulders and you will sleep and feel good and will genuinely be happy. Keep surrounding yourself with other givers and remind yourself daily just how special you are and humble, and worthy of the best, and completely wonderful. Because deep down you know how to find true happiness in life -through giving and all those takers you know will never ever know that peace.

Stay positive and surround yourself with only those that really love who you are and are like you.

I truly am sorry you're going through this for I know it's a rough road, but look at what you just did for yourself, for your future, health. Be proud!!! Sending out love!

I have avoided a lot of fights in my long life because of my philosphy of fighting. I see fighting as an intimate encounter. I agree to touch you,... hard.., and you agree to do the same to me. We might even go to the ground and roll around. Doofuses that insult and try to get a rise out of me because they want to fight strike me the same as a man trying to flirt with me. I don't want to be so involved with you. Homey don't play dat.

Now if you try to hurt my family we WILL have a close encounter.

Don't waste your energy on hate.

Kelly said;

"I myself am a giver, and somehow always find ways to surround myself with takers and one idiot. "

That sounds like a day out with my kids and husband....

Kelly said;

"I myself am a giver' date=' and somehow always find ways to surround myself with takers and one idiot. "

That sounds like a day out with my kids and husband.... [/quote']

Lmao!!!

I don't mean to hijack this hilarious and meaningful thread; but I want to add- I think as a 'fat' person I am more sensitive. Can anyone else relate? I know in the SHORT periods of time where I had control over my food addictions and was thinner, I had more confidence and sought less approval. I think I would be as hurt and the OP.... I don't think these feeling will go away when I loose weight, but I do think my tendencies toward sensitivities have led in part to my issues to food. Make sense?!! Thanks for sharing your heartache; I am more thoughtful about how I might react to this scenario....

I don't mean to hijack this hilarious and meaningful thread; but I want to add- I think as a 'fat' person I am more sensitive. Can anyone else relate? I know in the SHORT periods of time where I had control over my food addictions and was thinner, I had more confidence and sought less approval. I think I would be as hurt and the OP.... I don't think these feeling will go away when I loose weight, but I do think my tendencies toward sensitivities have led in part to my issues to food. Make sense?!! Thanks for sharing your heartache; I am more thoughtful about how I might react to this scenario....

relate 100%.

I don't mean to hijack this hilarious and meaningful thread; but I want to add- I think as a 'fat' person I am more sensitive. Can anyone else relate? I know in the SHORT periods of time where I had control over my food addictions and was thinner' date=' I had more confidence and sought less approval. I think I would be as hurt and the OP.... I don't think these feeling will go away when I loose weight, but I do think my tendencies toward sensitivities have led in part to my issues to food. Make sense?!! Thanks for sharing your heartache; I am more thoughtful about how I might react to this scenario....[/quote']

I'm glad you are thinking of this! I also want to say that this can be an emotional roller-coaster after surgery, for a couple of months. There is a lot of discussion as to why (ghrelin , lack of comfort from food.. etc)

But knowing this and watching and preparing for it will help you through.

I don't know but are you Sure your money is going to these things? sorta sounds a little fishy to me. Also if you didn't get anything maybe you will get flowers when you go back to work. I think I would stop participating in it just because obviously it is not equal and I wouldn't want to be a part of that.

Forget about all that work"drama" focus on you! You opted for this surgery to better your self, this is all about you and your success pay no mind to anything negative and use your energy elsewhere.

I think its a mistake for everyone here to start referring to your coworkers as losers, a-holes, and jealous catty women. The fact of the matter is that most of us do not put much thought into whats going on with our co-workers unless we happen to be particularly friendly with a handful of people or something like that. I can understand hurt feelings because you had expectations because this seems like a pretty standard thing that they do but consider this - they probably don't know you well, they may or may not realize the severity of you operation, and they may or may not care, and they are not obligated too. You are putting to much stock in people who don't owe you anything.

As for the phone calls, texts and e-mails, I would stop all that PRONTO. I would send back one respoce with something like "I have just undergone a major abdominal operation and will become available again on this date _____ " or something along those lines because now that I already talked to you about what they dont OWE YOU, YOU DO NOT OWE THEM all this attention either right now.

I am sorry but it did make me feel better to call them losers...not that I go around calling people names but my evil side did enjoy it (call me flawed). As far as how well I know them, there are about 8 of us in the office and I would say we are a pretty close bunch (or so I thought). We go out and play poker at each others houses, out to eat, to concerts/shows etc. now I would not talk to them about my deepest darkest secrets (like calling people losers haha) but they know what is generally going on in my life and I know what is going on with them. Plus I have worked there over 15 years...most came after me but the shortest I have known any one person is probably about 4 years. That to me is a bit more than them not knowing me. As far as the the surgery, we are all in healthcare so they know about the surgery and what was going on with me.

It could be worse though, I was talking to my sister and she said the idiots (sorry, evil comes through again) she works with sent a co worker that had this surgery a fruit basket and food assortment even though my sis told them the person was not allowed fruit and Cookies...they still sent it, my sister went on her own and sent a gift card to a bookstore for the person.

YEP, I just wanted to make a note of that because sometimes we are overly emotional post op and I didn't want OP to say something she will regret. In my personal opinion I really don't think she should say anything at all because I can't envision a way for that to go down without OP coming off as needy, but thats just my personal opinion based on my own workplace experience. I do realize that every job environment is a little different, but I know if I said something about not getting something at my place of business people would immediately think "who the hell does she think she is" lol, you know what I mean?

this is what would probably happen!

Ok I talked to a friend of mine about this whole situation and she works indirectly with my staff. She just so happened to be talking to one of my coworkers today and mentioned casually are you doing anything for Jules because I want to contribute and she said yes, they just didn't know what to do yet but they were going to do a card and something. So I humbly apologize to my coworkers for calling them losers and idiots because now I feel like an a$$. But if they send me a food basket of stuff I am not able to have like chocolate and cookies I will be back on to diss them again! Thanks guys again for all the awesome advice and the laughs and support!

If they send you a food basket with cookies can I have it...