I have worked for a company for over 15 years and the small office I work in collects money every month for things that come up...like if someone dies, gets sick etc. That way we can send flowers or whatever and not have to have a collection. Before my surgery, two other gals in the office went out on disability and instead of just using our collected funds we also threw one a second baby shower and the other one that had abdominal surgery we all got together and put together a basket of clear fluids for her post op...including some vodka (lol) but also had magazines and things for her to do. I even took the time and made a card for her from all of us.

So my issue is this...I got nothing and my feelings are really hurt. I cannot understand why my own office would not even send me a card when we send people in other offices cards and flowers when they are out. I don't want to have these feelings of resentment but I do.

On top of all of this, I get daily emails or texts from them about my work stuff that they do not know how to do. No one bothered them or called them when they were recovering except to ask how they were...I don't even get that! And when I said something like I guess you are finally seeing some of what I actually do and why I end up staying at work so late, I got "well let me play my little violin for you".

Up until now I thought these people were "friends" or at least friendly coworkers of mine and I don't know how to handle this. I am a pretty upfront person, if I feel one way I will say it but I am not even sure what or how to say something at this point.

Do you work in my office? When my mother passed away a couple of years ago, I didn't even get a cheap card. It hurt my feelings at the time so I know how you feel.

Hope that didnt sound harsh. I agree with some of the other posts, you worry about you and your health right now. And ever let anyone steal your joy! You are on the right track and soon you will look and feel awesome!

Maybe I will just send them a link to this thread....

I think its a mistake for everyone here to start referring to your coworkers as losers, a-holes, and jealous catty women. The fact of the matter is that most of us do not put much thought into whats going on with our co-workers unless we happen to be particularly friendly with a handful of people or something like that. I can understand hurt feelings because you had expectations because this seems like a pretty standard thing that they do but consider this - they probably don't know you well, they may or may not realize the severity of you operation, and they may or may not care, and they are not obligated too. You are putting to much stock in people who don't owe you anything.

As for the phone calls, texts and e-mails, I would stop all that PRONTO. I would send back one respoce with something like "I have just undergone a major abdominal operation and will become available again on this date _____ " or something along those lines because now that I already talked to you about what they dont OWE YOU, YOU DO NOT OWE THEM all this attention either right now.

Personally, I would say something. Maybe send out a blanket email "thanks for the flowers, oh wait I didn't get any from you guys"...point is you should say something or it's going to bother you. I just wouldn't contribute to things like that anymore. I understand wanting to do nice things for your coworkers but really, they are just coworkers. Not your friends. And if you depend on them being friends and they treat you like this maybe you should reconsider who your friends are.

That is extremely passive aggressive and most places, one or two incidences like that is grounds for termination. Extremely unprofessional. Gotta remember, these are co-workers not family and friends.

I think its a mistake for everyone here to start referring to your coworkers as losers' date=' a-holes, and jealous catty women. The fact of the matter is that most of us do not put much thought into whats going on with our co-workers unless we happen to be particularly friendly with a handful of people or something like that. I can understand hurt feelings because you had expectations because this seems like a pretty standard thing that they do but consider this - they probably don't know you well, they may or may not realize the severity of you operation, and they may or may not care, and they are not obligated too. You are putting to much stock in people who don't owe you anything.

As for the phone calls, texts and e-mails, I would stop all that PRONTO. I would send back one respoce with something like "I have just undergone a major abdominal operation and will become available again on this date _____ " or something along those lines because now that I already talked to you about what they dont OWE YOU, YOU DO NOT OWE THEM all this attention either right now.[/quote']

I could be wrong... But I think they are all joking around 0_o

Maybe so, I can never really tell. I just don't like to encourage that type of thing, I think it breeds discord between women lol

that sort of "we're joking, but not really" type of thing, you know what I mean?

Maybe so' date=' I can never really tell. I just don't like to encourage that type of thing, I think it breeds discord between women lol

that sort of "we're joking, but not really" type of thing, you know what I mean?[/quote']

I know what you mean., I guess I was just trying to make sure we didn't start having "discord" breaking out around here

That is extremely passive aggressive and most places' date=' one or two incidences like that is grounds for termination. Extremely unprofessional. Gotta remember, these are co-workers not family and friends.[/quote']

I was kidding about the email, my point was that if it was bothering her so much she should say something. And I also did stress they were just coworkers and she has the option of not participating in money collecting events.

I was completely serious

This sucks, my daughter experienced the same thing.

She was the one who organized all parties, luncheons, gifts etc for coworkers.

When she was promoted and left her branch.... NOTHING was done for her not even a card even when it had always been done for everyone by her efforts per the team manager.

It's upsetting and I'm so sorry.

Some people really suck!!!

Oh and I'm adding to say no one tell me anything to debate what I said because some people do suck and that's a fact, jack

Hahaha

I was kidding about the email, my point was that if it was bothering her so much she should say something. And I also did stress they were just coworkers and she has the option of not participating in money collecting events.

YEP, I just wanted to make a note of that because sometimes we are overly emotional post op and I didn't want OP to say something she will regret. In my personal opinion I really don't think she should say anything at all because I can't envision a way for that to go down without OP coming off as needy, but thats just my personal opinion based on my own workplace experience. I do realize that every job environment is a little different, but I know if I said something about not getting something at my place of business people would immediately think "who the hell does she think she is" lol, you know what I mean?

I was completely serious

Oh I know YOU WERE! But one crazy b***h in the bunch doesn't mean we all are

As to what Fyre offered to do for 5 bucks

I'll do it for 3 bucks lol

I'm saving for a tummy tuck hehe

YEP' date=' I just wanted to make a note of that because sometimes we are overly emotional post op and I didn't want OP to say something she will regret. In my personal opinion I really don't think she should say anything at all because I can't envision a way for that to go down without OP coming off as needy, but thats just my personal opinion based on my own workplace experience. I do realize that every job environment is a little different, but I know if I said something about not getting something at my place of business people would immediately think "who the hell does she think she is" lol, you know what I mean?[/quote']

You're right. I guess I just felt bad for her feeling hurt. Sometimes I think we feel that because we see these people every day for 8 hours and sometimes more for years you just expect more out of them. And we should remember not everyone feels the same way about these things. I will however stick to the remark I gave that she shouldn't let anyone steal her joy and she should just concentrate on her for now and not worry about them!