Is my Mom trying to steal my shine?

[elektrik_rose 63]

@iggychick Actually, both my Mom and BF are the cause of most of my stress. I keep my Mom at a distance (she doesn't have the best attitude or perspective on life, but she's my Mom) and my BF is getting ditched after Christmas, which my Mom knows and agrees with. Don't want to ruin the holiday and I needed the extra help with the kids gifts.

@Carol Watts That's really unfortunate. My Mom and I have never had the best relationship, and even though I may feel a certain way, I'd still stick by her side during her surgery. I'm taking off and she's coming to my house to recover. She did the best job taking care of me after I left the hospital. I'd like to return the favor. I'll keep you in my prayers. It would be nice if you two could mend the relationship.

[iggychic 1,405]

Well one down anyhoo thats a brave move and I'm glad you are making it. Poison in a relationship just isn't worth it and when they aren't family...they aren't necessary! Find a man who brings you joy instead

I hope that your mom's attitude changes after surgery. Perhaps her weight has made her unhappy? You can always hope anyhoo. It sounds like despite her issues you still have feelings so for your sake, I hope things change for the better in that relationship. You sound like a pretty darned good daughter to me

[BANANA PANTS! 60]

I remember the pre-op psych assessment (mine was mostly a joke and waste of money) had one good nugget of info - watch out for others who will take your weak moment and need for support and use it against you. Sort of sounds like what happened to you. I agree with all the others (especially the punchers - hehehe). We cannot control how others react or act, but we can control what we do and say. Sounds like you are going to learn from this and be the bigger (emotionally) person - we all need someone to be the bigger person and it sounds like now is your time. Best of luck to you and your mom on this adventure!

[elektrik_rose 63]

@Banana Pants Love your name!!!! I'm super late, but Thanks for your comment! My psych exam was a joke as well and I left crying.

[BANANA PANTS! 60]

@Banana Pants Love your name!!!! I'm super late' date=' but Thanks for your comment! My psych exam was a joke as well and I left crying.[/quote']

My name came from my 3 yr old niece. Say it out loud and you can't help but smile!,,,

Sleeved 12/17/12 and enjoying the adventure!

[elektrik_rose 63]

Congrats banana Pants and keep the name...LOL!!!!

[debiosbo 36]

Be proud of yourself for showing your mom what she could do with you.. almost anyone would want to do this once they are showen what they could do with this tool... best of luck to the both of you... this

should help you both having each others help.... embrace it... use it.... love it together.......

[GeauxForIt 659]

I kept my surgery a secret from my mother and inly told her after I'd had it done bc she always makes everything about HER and how she feels. I needed all of my emotional energy and had no extra to spend on her!

She *seems* supportive but gives back-handed "compliments" and still points out that she's a couple of sizes smaller than me. Over Xmas she brought a BUNCH of junk food to my house knowing I'd struggle with not eating it. Know what? I DIDN'T EAT IT!!!

I just try to remember that it's HER problem, not mine. Although sometimes I really want to strangle her!!

[Carly4HandinSD 313]

You should look at positively. Be thankful that your mom is doing something about it before it is too late. My mother was in need of the surgery and didn't do it, she is no longer with us now. If she had it would have saved her life. Try not to let it get to you, or look at it as stealing your shine. You can hold anger about it or you can just be happy that she is taking the step to change and extend her life. While your mom may have been against, it, she still lost weight on her own and if now she is doing it - whatever the reason may be just be happy and supportive. You only have one mom and enjoy all the time you can have with her

[twoolley 141]

@Elektric_rose: Congrats to you for being such an inspiration! It's not often that we get to influence the decisions of our parents. I am in the opposite boat from you though. My mom is very overweight and I have asked her to consider having the surgery a few times. She has been very supportive but she still can't accept the thought of losing weight herself. She just simply says that she can't stop eating, even if she has a sleeve.

You have obviously been a blessing in her life, I wish you both the best!