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Not Telling People....

When I have my surgery, I dont want to tell anyone (except a select few people). I just feel like its a really personal thing and dont think its anyone else's business. Did anyone else not want to tell anyone about their surgery? And what did you say when people asked how you lost so much weight so quickly??

I just know people are going to ask me and Im not quite sure what I will say.

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  • I hear a lot of chatter about "honesty" and "lying", etc. If someone asks me a personal health question, I am under no obligation to answer it. I'm not sure why it's even socially acceptable to pry

  • Even people on this board, who don't know you in "real life" are trying to make you justify your reasons for telling whomever you choose to tell, or not to tell. Here you can click off and walk away,

  • If you choose to share with others, that is fine. If you choose not to, that is fine as well. Everyone has their own personal reasons for choosing to share or not share. That is what is amazing abo

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I think that it's a personal choice if you want to tell the truth or not and i think it's a very personal matter therefore my answer will be short and sweet. I would just say, "it's personal." No one is going to ask for further exlanation on that.

I think that it's a personal choice if you want to tell the truth or not and i think it's a very personal matter therefore my answer will be short and sweet. I would just say' date=' "it's personal." No one is going to ask for further exlanation on that.[/quote']

One thing I will say, you are going to get asked every single day about your weight loss. It doesn't matter if you tell people about the surgery or not....everyone is going to want to comment on our weight loss. It doesn't matter if you think it's personal or not, people are still going to comment on it. And that will be followed up with the immediate question "How'd you do it?" So get ready for that 25 times a day.

Might be true for your friends, not for others. My friends would ask and ask and ask. They laugh when someone says "its personal".

I don't have friends so no worries there :)

I told everyone and there mama lol I guess the only annoying part is having to hear the same question over and over again. So.... how much have you lost? Lol aww man.. Annoying. And I have to admit I do get worried I may fail and well with everyone knowing they're going to judge me but f it! I wouldn't be the first nor the past person to do so. So say what you want eventually everyone forgets :) !

At first I didn't want to tell anyone. At a couple of gatherings friends gave their opinions and told horror stories that they had heard. Out of all of the friends present only two are not overweight.

I had to tell my boss, I can't just apply for sick leave. I work in a hospital and they expect you to have all procedures taken care of there. So, if I had fibbed and said some OB/GYN issue they would have wanted to know why I was going somewhere else. I have made it clear that in any medical issue it is my body, my life and I will go where ever I feel comfortable, with the doctor that I like.

Anyway, I did tell and the HR director tried to tell me that it was cosmetic and would have to come from my vacation time. I went straight to the Chief Administrator and got that taken care of, thank you very much :) Like "ftomivec" the culture I live in does not know too much about this type of surgery, and many view it as cosmetic for people too lazy to diet and lose weight the normal way.

I'm glad that I did talk though. Since opening my big mouth, two others have had surgery and three or four more are considering it. Two are really young and I'm glad to help them, why wait till you are my age?

I understand everyone's point of view. It is a personal decision.

My surgery is not until April and I've only told some of the people closest to me. I have also asked my parents not to share it with their friends or the rest of the family. Mostly this is because it is my body and my decision about who I choose to share it with. Eventually I will tell anyone who asks. I'm proud of the fact that I recognized I needed help on this journey and am doing whatever it takes to get healthy.

It is your business not to tell people. BUT people are not stupid and when you lose 50 pounds in 90 days or less they are going to know this is not a normal weight loss. You can lie and tell them you are working out or whatever but that is going to fuel the gossip. Look at what happened with Star Jones, she denied it and it fueled rumors and talk. Those who come right out and say what they did- there isn't much to talk about. I don't volunteer my weight loss or surgery but when someone, asked me- "how did you do it" I tell them. How can you look an overweight, struggling friend in the face and lie. I can't- I found a solution that saved my life, I am going to share that with them. It might not be their solution but they need to know all options out there that work to save them from the awful life of obesity. I have a friend I highly suspect of having this sugery and she lied to me. I suspect it in hind sight after my surgery and recalling her eating habits and weight loss. I have never come out and asked her but it bothers me that she wouldn't tell me. She knows my stuggle, she knows how hard I tried and she found a solution and hid it from me. I feel a kindred spirit with overweight people, they are the only ones who know how awful life can be when you can't lose weight, when you try everything and lose and gain. They know what it is like to hate themselves and feel like a failure in life.

I would NEVER hid it from someone who needed it, I want other people to know there is something out there that can help them. I 100% agree!

I don't think it's anyone's business!!! Either... I'm scheduled on the 10th of January ... Super excited... But I agree very personal..

I am scheduled for Feb 6th, my boyfriend and best friend know and are VERY supportive, my sister on the other hand responded as if I was taking the easy way out...really? Major surgery is NOT the easy way out! I am on the fence because of criticisim, but at the end of the day I am doing this for me so believe I will tell people and limit my conversation with the bashers!

For years I've struggled with my weight. When women would suddenly drop weight and say it was their diet/ exercise routine it gave me false hope. Hope that I too could have the same drastic results by doing what they said they were doing, when in fact they left out the surgery part.

I've been very up front with my family, friends, coworkers, and students. Yes I had to hear some try to talk me out of it. But I just listen politely and move on. I realized that my 300+ lb friends didn't want me to do this because they were worried others would expect them to have the surgery too. I am no more ashamed of this surgery than any other surgery I have chosen to have to fix other medical problems.

I choose to be a role model. Not the easy choice, but neither was the choice to have this surgery.

I am scheduled for Feb 6th, my boyfriend and best friend know and are VERY supportive, my sister on the other hand responded as if I was taking the easy way out...really? Major surgery is NOT the easy way out! I am on the fence because of criticisim, but at the end of the day I am doing this for me so believe I will tell people and limit my conversation with the bashers!

Criticism also scares me, but I think the more we have lost & the further out from surgery we are the less it will be an issue. It'll be easy to tell them nothing about it was easy & we worked our asses off!

Criticism also scares me, but I think the more we have lost & the further out from surgery we are the less it will be an issue. It'll be easy to tell them nothing about it was easy & we worked our asses off!

I agree this is going to be work! People are ignorant to think you have surgery and wake up skinny! There is so much to know and so many restrictions, and I never even considered the pain! But even with all that I am excited and can't wait until Feb 6th

Can anyone say "Starr Jones"?

But seriously folks.

I slipped and told two of my dearest friends. I don't know what I was thinking. Indifferent responses from both. I wish I could take it back.

Sent from my iPhone using VST

Anybody who knows me knows that I have never been able to stick to a diet long enough to benefit me, so no need to lie. I was picking up dinner tonight and I asked the lady if she could sell me just a small portion and she just looked at me like I was crazy. I simply said that I had surgery and can only eat about an ounce. She smiled and held up a cup and asked if it were small enough. When I was walking out, a lady stopped me and apologized for being nosey and asked what surgery I had. I told her that I had the sleeve and she told me that she had the band done in 2005 and was down from 386 pounds. We complimented each other and she wished me luck with my new tummy. Such a sweet lady!!! I'm not ashamed of my decision and I know that I would have never been able to do this by myself. Plus, my crack baby memory would certainly mess up my tangle of lies!

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my sister on the other hand responded as if I was taking the easy way out...really? Major surgery is NOT the easy way out! !

Umm, sure it is. We have already proven to ourselves (and everybody else) that we dont have what it takes to stick to the diet & exercise thing on our own. Many of us have tried every other gimmick under the sun to lose weight, and failed. We are food addicts (most of us anyhow). If there were a surgery that could cure alcohol, drug, gambling, or porn addictions would there be any objections to using those surgeries? I think not. We have a weakness when it comes to food. Therefore we NEED help. We need this to be as "easy" as it can be. And let me tell you, after over 6 months with my sleeve, when your stomachs capacity is 6-8oz total, it's pretty damn easy to not eat a 16oz steak, or a whole pizza, or 4 slices of cheesecake.

When someone makes the remark "that's the easy way" I have to agree. Last I checked we are always searching out easier ways of doing almost everything.

Cars are so much easier than bicycles

The Internet is easier than encyclopedias

Tractors are easier than a horse & plow

Debit cards are easier than writing checks or carrying cash

Pre prepared foods are easier than scratch cooking

Since when is making something easier a bad thing?

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