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just for laughs...

winner · 2006-10-19T18:06:41+0000

I'm forwarding some laughs that were sent to me. Because silliness is highly underrated. Jokes anyone??:biggrin1: President Bush said that the government would do everything to help the people of Hawaii out. He went on to say that he considers Hawaii to be one of our most important allies." --Jay Leno "An 83-year-old was caught trying to cross the border with ten pounds of meth. Border Guards became suspicious when the man swam the river, leaped the fence and dug a tunnel all in less than ten minutes." --Jay Leno "Earlier today at a press conference, President Bush said he will not attack North Korea. Well, of course not. They actually have weapons of mass destruction." --David Letterman "Yesterday a man from Mexico was arrested because he was trying to sneak into the United States, and he was so fat he got stuck in the tunnel he was using. Which is unfair because if the man is that fat, he belongs in the United States." --Conan O'Brien AVIATION 101 Takeoffs are optional. Landings are mandatory. Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous. The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat. It's best to keep the pointed end going forward as much as possible. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire. Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man - Landing is the first. The probability of survival is equal to the angle of arrival. Trust your captain .... but keep your seat belt securely fastened. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing: Unfortunately, no one knows what they are. The only thing worse than a captain who never flew as co-pilot is a copilot who once was a captain. It's easy to make a small fortune in aviation. You start with a large fortune. A fool and his money are soon flying more airplane than he can handle. Remember, you're always a student in an airplane. Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number if your takeoffs. Asking what a pilot thinks about the FAA is like asking a fireplug what it thinks about dogs. Gravity never loses! The best you can hope for is a draw. Caught ya laughin'!

By winner, October 19, 2006 in The Lounge

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