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Anyone afraid to tell their boss?



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I told everyone I had lap-band surgery. When they give me a blank stare, or nod in that "what?" kind of way, I tell them it's a type of weightloss surgery. And then because their first reaction is to assume I'm talking about RNY, I say, "They put an adjustable band at the top of your stomach, and it makes you fill up fast." If they're still lost I will add, "It isn't one of the operations where they cut your organs or anything, they just put a band around it." They're usually on the same page by then. :)

It's not something I was sensitive about so it never bothered me to tell people, but I understand why not telling is a popular choice. For me there were also some very practical factors. E.g. if something ever happens to me at work, and I'm not in a condition to be able to tell people about my band, I sure as heck want them to already know about it. And because if I'm out, and have to PB, there's no way I can hide that. I'll either be obviously uncomfortable, or spending way more time in the bathroom than I should. :)

I didn't realize I'd never told my boss until about 3 months after the fact. She and I were at a conference with a 3rd person, who knew about my surgery. She had ordered pizza for us and was offering to get me a piece, I told her no I couldn't eat it... she said "I thought you were hungry?" (thinking "I can't eat it" means I'm full)... so I told her "No, because of my band" and she just looked at me like - what? So I told her what it was, and she wanted to know how it worked so we sat there and I drew her a little diagram. That's all there was to it.

It's really not something to sweat.

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If you would like my thoughts on this I would NEVER tell anyone! I made the mistake in letting everyone know and it was the wrong choice as far as putting myself on display for everyone to be wondering how much I have lost or haven't lost. It stirs up all kinds of issues.

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I didn't tell anyone in my office either, in fact the only one in this city who knows is my daughter. I'm self-pay (read very in debt :nervous ) so it's really no one else's business. However, here's my problem, I have to take a day off once a month to travel to get fills. So far I've been very evasive about what is "wrong" with me, but wish I could think of a good answer to the questions and concerns. Many of my co-workers are worried about me and that makes me feel like a heel, but I'm adamant that my evil :) boss never find out the real reason I have to see my doctor once a month.

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derbygirl, what an insensitive jerk your boss is!!! i'm sorry you have to work for someone like that. What do you do for as living? I think I'd look for another job.

llewis

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I've thought about this regarding my own situation-surgery in March '07. I don't plan on telling anyone at work. My concern is that the normal to skinny and the " I just eat whatever I want" gang would be judgemental. I found people just think chub's are lazy and weak minded and if we actually truly tried and put down the fork once in a while we'd win the battle. I'm on this journey with my friends and family at my side. The receptionist through to the Big Wigs don't need to know. As soon as someone at the office knows you're on a diet, out comes the comments. Aren't you on a diet? How many pounds do you have to lose? And everyone seems to have "a friend" who was on this diet and /or that diet.

Nosy office co-workers say:"The grapefruit diet works well!" "oh, you've tried that one and it didn't work? weird!"

me: "yes, I tried it and it didn't work."

Nosy office co-workers say: "Did you try it while skateboarding backwards down a hill, in a pair of Jordache jeans, legwarmers and jelly shoes from the 80's??

me; "No..."

Nosy co-workers say:"Well that explains it...you're dumb and fat!!"

Kidding aside...do what you're comfortable with. You may find all the support you need here, among people who know the up's and down's related to your journey.

:) Michelle

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