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Awwwww....you Don't Need That Surgery. You Aren't Big Enough.



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How many of you out there were told by family and friends, "you don't need that surgery", "why are you having that surgery", "why not lose it the natural way", or "you aren't that big"? I have made the conscious decision not to share my decision to have the gastric sleeve surgery with people for that very reason. I have only shared the news with my sister and brother in law. It's amazing how critical people can be. I am scheduled for surgery Nov. 13th and I start my clear liquid diet tomorrow. I never thought I would be so excited to start a clear liquid diet. Please share how family and friends reacted to learning of your decision to have surgery.

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I have told everyone, friends, family, random strangers. I have recieved nothing but postive feedback from everyone I told. The only people I haven't told are my husband family because they have been super critical and judgemental of my weight in the past. We will see my husbands mom for the 1st time in 5 years in June and I will be 15 months out. I have no intention of telling her just gonna tell her it was diet and exercise.

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I have told everyone, friends, family, random strangers. I have recieved nothing but postive feedback from everyone I told. The only people I haven't told are my husband family because they have been super critical and judgemental of my weight in the past. We will see my husbands mom for the 1st time in 5 years in June and I will be 15 months out. I have no intention of telling her just gonna tell her it was diet and exercise.

I did end up telling a few co-workers. Most people are supportive but about half did initially say they thought I didn't need the surgery. They have never seen me when I wasn't overweight, so they rally don't have anything to compare my current weight to.

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Same things im getting from my friends and family. I just block them out, i am doing this for me, to be here longer, be healthier and get to have energy to play with my children and be healthy for them, and teach them healthy habits also. they tell me its dangerous and this and that. ofcourse anything can happen. i just hope they pray for me and wish me all the luck, and help me through my journey.

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I wish one person would have told me that! lol!I just get agreed with which makes me thinks I am waaaay bigger than I thought!!

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I have told everyone. No one said that I didn't need it, should do it the old-fashioned way, or that I wasn't that big. But three coworkers expressed concern over the risks, not really being non-supportive or judgmental. I was scared to death to tell my grown sons, but they were totally supportive and accepting when I did.

My husband has been my rock. Tells me everyday how glorious I look. Has changed his eating habits and lifestyle to be more in sync with mine. Prepares all his own food. What a man!

But bottom line, to heck with what "they" say. Do what you need to do for you.

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I chose to not share this info with anyone at all for this very reason. You can see my stats 5'7 and 195lbs at time of surgery. I chose this for my own reasons and my own life. My husband and my two best friends knew before hand and are still to this day the only people who know. They were all supportive and know me well enough to know that I wouldn't mess around unless I had done my research. mums the word. I've also been following up with my PCP so he knows and he too is secretly excited for me after he had been prescribing me various diet pills over the years ;)

I'm sure even posting this email some numbnutt will post that I'm stupid for doing what I've done however this was a gift to myself and to my family so that I can live longer/avoid diabetes and heart problems due to the my heaviness. DO a quick gutt check with yourself and see what you really want and why you are doing this. It is a bold move and alot of work, know what you are looking to get out of it as well.

Best of luck!

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I've heard the "but you're not THAT big" part..well, I suppose I don't appear that big to some people, I'm only 5'1. I refer to myself as the little-big girl...I've had to defend my decision to more than one person, sometimes makes me wish I wouldn't have told anyone. What they don't realize is that I'm more afraid of living the next twenty/thirty years feeling the way I am (or worse) than of dying on the table attempting to improve my life.

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i tell people generally, but had originally planned on only telling close friends. I decided to tell them after realizing that if I didn't I was going to need to lie, which is not part of my make up. (half truths are as much a lie as a lie to me).

I ended up being happy I did tell people because I had major complications and those dear friends who supported me, but also felt I was "not big enough, or fine the way I was" helped my family during my very long hospital stay. Had I not told them I think they would have been angry with me (as I would have been with them) so I thank goodness I chose honesty as the best policy.

I don't care what people, strangers and friends, think about what I did The people in my life support me, those who don't aren't worth having in my life. I'm old and cynical that way :) But we also had scheduled charity events that had to be cancelled while I was in hospital and for those I felt better telling the truth about why I had to cancel than lying and giving half truths would have made me feel.

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Im on my second day of liquid diet and I'm excited too..not as hard as I thought it was going to be...but yes on Tuesday I mentioned that I'm having surgery and this guy I didn't really know said that it was "the easy way out" and I just laughed and told him that we don't have to talk about it anymore and that was that...the comment about not being that big...I got that from my very own PCP and a coworker but you know everyone has an opinion and it doesn't bother me one bit cause the only opinion that matters is yours..life is short who gives a **** what people think. :-) you go friend! Be confident and believe in your decision and move on.

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I worry about this too. I am 5'5" and weigh about 215 right now. i have hypertension and sleep apnea. i also have a family hx of cancer and hesrt disease. I have only told my husband and daughters (13 and 11). I haven't told my mom, sister or the in-laws yet but plan too. I want to be a little closer to actually having surgery before I tell them though. I am struggling with whether I want to tell anyone at work. I have a very close co-worker who is also over weight (obese) and I actually worry about how my decision might affect her. Will it make. Her feel bad or uncomfortable...

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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