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So, I was reading a post about a gal's biggest fear, which got me thinking about my biggest fear. At this point I think my biggest fear is being thin. I have ALWAYS been a big girl, my first diet was age 10 when my mom took me to weight watchers.

As an adult I take comfort in big sweatshirts and oversized sweatpants. I don't know know how to (as stupid as it sounds) to wear shorts or skirts or tank tops. I am use to hearing things like " oh, you have such a pretty face," and "you are so lively for a big girl ( thanks grandma!)." How am I going to deal with genuine complements?

Am I the only one who has these types of feelings/ thoughts? I guess I just need some comfort in knowing that I'm not alone.

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No, ur not alone at all! I was thinking about this the other day. We just got our school pix back and I seriously dislike the way my face looks. I'm digging the smaller body, but ick with the smaller face and neck. I figured that I was heavy for years and had a LONG time to get used to seeing that. I need to adjust to the new reflection. As for the compliments- they still sort of bother me if I get more than three or so in a day. This has happened during trainings or if I go anywhere where there are large numbers of people I haven't seen in awhile. Yeah, sometimes the compliments r uncomfortable but I've learned to move on. U will adjust. Ur fears r normal. All of the benefits from being healthier and smaller will outweigh everything else in the end. :)

Sent from my iPhone using VST

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Thank you Danyelleb! It's nice to know I'm not completely crazy lol. Oh, and u look great!!

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You are not alone. We all have to adjust to being who we are in a different body. But remember that you decide what you wear. Just b/c you are thin doesn't mean you can't wear a big shirt or that you have to dress in some way that doesn't feel "you". I think you will find that as time goes on, you become slowly more comfortable and at ease with the new body you live in Embrace it and enjoy it but also do it at YOUR pace!

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300poundsdown- this may sound silly, but I didn't even think about being able to wear baggy clothes once I lose weight. My family has put so much emphasis on wearing form fitting clothes that I forgot that I can still be me and wear what I'm comfortable in. Thank you for the reminder :)

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I think that is one of my biggest fears as well...Not knowing what it will feel like being thin scares me. I dont know how I will react to it and take it. At my psych consult she said that people will treat me differently, I dont understand what she meant by that, I hope its not horrible. I dont get treated badly now. Im to be sleeved one wk from today!!

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I think that is one of my biggest fears as well...Not knowing what it will feel like being thin scares me. I dont know how I will react to it and take it. At my psych consult she said that people will treat me differently' date=' I dont understand what she meant by that, I hope its not horrible. I dont get treated badly now. Im to be sleeved one wk from today!![/quote']

I've heard the same thing. I've heard that the attention ha the powers to break up relationships. Hopefully that doesn't happen!

I'm sure it will take time but hopefully we can learn how to flourish in our new bodies!

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I've heard the same thing. I've heard that the attention ha the powers to break up relationships. Hopefully that doesn't happen!

I'm sure it will take time but hopefully we can learn how to flourish in our new bodies!

Not worried about it breaking up my relationship thankfully. Only time can answer our questions hehe

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I have some of the same fears. Part of me is afraid to be a thin person because I don't think I know 'how' to be. I've been a big girl pretty much my whole life. Ive heard people say that your treated differently when your thin also-nicer- and I guess it remains to be seen. I've never felt like people have treated me bad because of my size though. I do get the occasional once over, and sometimes size discrimination us inevitable when you're 300+lbs, but for the most part it wasn't bad. So I guess I'll see.

Something that was strange to me, one of my best friends who is also big (though I have about 100lbs on her) but she told me she hoped I didn't 'change' after surgery and losing weight. I asked what she meant and she said 'I hope you don't become a b$&@!' I think that shocked me a little. Part of me is like what is she crazy? I'm going to be the same person I always was! But part of me knows I WILL in some ways change. Hopefully in the right ways.

I know I'm rambling lol, but as surgery gets closer these fears creep in more and more. I've always had a fear of the unknown, and being thin is definitly unknown territory to me lol.

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I have some of the same fears. Part of me is afraid to be a thin person because I don't think I know 'how' to be. I've been a big girl pretty much my whole life. Ive heard people say that your treated differently when your thin also-nicer- and I guess it remains to be seen. I've never felt like people have treated me bad because of my size though. I do get the occasional once over' date=' and sometimes size discrimination us inevitable when you're 300+lbs, but for the most part it wasn't bad. So I guess I'll see.

Something that was strange to me, one of my best friends who is also big (though I have about 100lbs on her) but she told me she hoped I didn't 'change' after surgery and losing weight. I asked what she meant and she said 'I hope you don't become a b&@!' I think that shocked me a little. Part of me is like what is she crazy? I'm going to be the same person I always was! But part of me knows I WILL in some ways change. Hopefully in the right ways.

I know I'm rambling lol, but as surgery gets closer these fears creep in more and more. I've always had a fear of the unknown, and being thin is definitly unknown territory to me lol.[/quote']

That's interesting. I did get that from my hubs, but I think it was a convenient excuse that was a result of his insecurities and adjustment. It's gotten way better once I called him on it. Now- I just get crap every now and then about how I'm always gone. Gone= going for a run. Lol. He always gets weird when I do yoga in the mornings before the house gets up. It really is just an adjustment. Fortunately for my health I've developed different behaviors (ie not eating fast food and exercising). This impacts our loved ones if they haven't joined us. Sometimes change is difficult, but eventually things even out. :)

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I've had those fears, have been over weight for as long as I can remember. It's hard to envision you're self as thin, and the emotional changes that take place. But 4 years ago I hit my lowest weight ever, 149lbs, don't think I'd weighted that since elementary school (was always big girl) was only at that weight for like 2 months before I gained back 50lbs in 4months :( the joys of lapband complications. But ill tell you, it was an amazing feeling. I looked normal (was always afraid of what it would look like, giant head tiny body, size 20 hips still with a medium top, was afraid of looking like a science experiment gone wrong) no one believed I weighted 230lbs at the start unless I Showed them pictures. But even though I was there for 2 months, and last year got back down to 165lb until this summer and gained another 20lbs. I still have that nagging paranoia of will I look normal after losing with the sleeve. Ill tell you this, I went from lose fitting close to wanting to wear items that showed off my new figure... They've been collecting dust for 4yrs in my closet so can't wait to fit those clothes I only wore like once or twice lol

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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