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Dating .. Are U Ready To Be Back In The Game?



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Hey everyone

I am definitely still far far away from my goal but i am just wondering whether there is anyone who feel cant be bothered to go on a date after the surgery? I know its a very silly question to be asked but after since i have my surgery and have been losing weight, i have not really adapt to my new body. Simply put i just feel still much going on with me to the point i cant be bothered to focus on anything else.

My doctor only tell me about the benefit / risk of the surgery, but no one explain to me about the psychological effect from losing massive smount of weight and adjusting to new body ( especially for me who have been fat since i was a kid haha).

Sorry again for the stupid question .. AnywAy thanks for reading it and all the best for all of u!

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It kinda makes me nervous too...I broke up with someone about a month before surgery...He said he was scared and didnt want to lose me, not because of the surgery, but because I was/will lost/loose alot of weight (I lost 41lbs pre-op)...Ugh. No signs of getting back together...My mother, being super supportive, said that there is a different type of man out there from the ones that I have dated in the past. I always felt that I had to have something extra to hide my weight. We will be in a totally different game...I do feel that eventually I will be too bothered to go on a date, because I'll too many offers of course, lol B) but really its alot for someone to take in and I really just want to concentrate on myself for a while til I am comfortable with my body.

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I had surgery 9/19. Close to six weeks post op..lost 39 lbs incl pre op diet. I worry about meeting someone in the future and having loose skin and being embarrassed to become intimate. I don't know how I will look when the weight really starts to drop but I am a bit worried about that.

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I had surgery 9/19. Close to six weeks post op..lost 39 lbs incl pre op diet. I worry about meeting someone in the future and having loose skin and being embarrassed to become intimate. I don't know how I will look when the weight really starts to drop but I am a bit worried about that.

I feel the same way! I also don't know how to tell someone new about my surgery and what not

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I agree with you! It can be such a private matter (it is for me at least) that sharing that with someone is out of my comfort zone. To be honest, my children and family/friends don't know. Only 3 people in my circle are aware.

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I had surgery 9/19. Close to six weeks post op..lost 39 lbs incl pre op diet. I worry about meeting someone in the future and having loose skin and being embarrassed to become intimate. I don't know how I will look when the weight really starts to drop but I am a bit worried about that.

Ok....here are my thoughts on this. It's quite simple, but its true!

Once you are naked....the significant other is just glad you ARE naked. :)

Now, in saying that, I will be sure to do my part and get some cardio and weight training in to minimize the skin! Lol

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I love this topic! I met the love of my life 1 year ago Exacty. I was about 3 months post op when we went on our 1st date, and still 200+ pounds he definately was aware of my tiny appetite. He has been supportive and open to all my surgery and body issues. I feel like its the first time I have had a relationship where I wasn't settling! What I am getting at is: it is so much easier to attract a great person when you love yourself.

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That is wonderful that you are so happy!! I think you are right about loving yourself first and of course the confidence! I've settled in the past too many times, and I think as the weight drops further, confidence will follow. I'm released this Sunday to return to the gym too so that will help with loose skin concerns.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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