Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

To Tell Or Not To Tell Your Significant Other



Recommended Posts

I'm about 5 months out, and I'm down 60 pounds. I haven't kept my surgery a secret, but I don't just tell everyone I meet either, and people are starting to notice that I'm thinner. I'm happy to talk about it when asked questions. And a lot of people do have questions. Everyone has been very supporting and positive. I think it may have helped a couple of other people make steps to look into surgery for themselves. I recently started dating a guy and haven't told him yet. But I think it may come up soon.... and I'm honestly ok about it. I'm proud of the decision I made to have the surgery and all of the hard work I'm doing. I've never worked this hard on anything in my life. I'm half way to my goal and feeling great! : )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Be honest. One time my husband had surgery for one thing and actually had two surgeries at once. When he told me afterI felt my heart fall int my stomach. All I could think was why couldn't he tell me???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Please tell him!!! :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

How would you feel if something this important and life-changing was kept from you until the day it happened?

Bingo. Here comes another man's perspective as well. If I was dating you (or anyone else) for five years and we were doing good and I knew you were thinking about doing it, I damn well would wanna know if you were gonna go thru with it. Especially since you state that you think he would support you 100%. Why would you not?? I think that if you don't tell him you would do more damage to your seemingly good relationship than by telling. I really don't see the problem if all is good between you two. It would make me think twice if you didn't tell me. It's a major thing that you're doing and he would probably wanna be involved. Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards, I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

..... Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards' date=' I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.[/quote']

Okay....I just did a little man dance over this. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I can see your point lol.... That's defintiley an argument start.... "well you got wls so I leased the new tahoe" omgosh!!!! That wouldn't be cool at all lol.

Bingo. Here comes another man's perspective as well. If I was dating you (or anyone else) for five years and we were doing good and I knew you were thinking about doing it, I damn well would wanna know if you were gonna go thru with it. Especially since you state that you think he would support you 100%. Why would you not?? I think that if you don't tell him you would do more damage to your seemingly good relationship than by telling. I really don't see the problem if all is good between you two. It would make me think twice if you didn't tell me. It's a major thing that you're doing and he would probably wanna be involved. Oh and if you didn't tell me until afterwards, I don't wanna hear anything about the new truck or boat I just bought either! LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Love that quote by Kyle Cease

Okay....I just did a little man dance over this. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That must have been awful!

Be honest. One time my husband had surgery for one thing and actually had two surgeries at once. When he told me afterI felt my heart fall int my stomach. All I could think was why couldn't he tell me???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey everyone!!! Thank you so much for giving me some piece of mind. After positing I realized (after reading what I wrote in my head) how stupid that would be.

I read everything you guys had to say and THANK YOU for not criticizing me.

About 4 nights ago my honey and I were coming back home from the movies and I told him that I wanted to get the surgery done, (including that I was kinda thinking of not telling him until days before or not at all)

Told him how I felt about people knowing my business and how i rather tell them in my own time, told him that I've done most of my exams, and my concerns about the whole surgery....

He's wonderful. He told me he's 100% on board and that he will be there every step of the way, even told me that if my insurance doesn't cover it I can get it done with his insurance when we get married. Surprisingly, he actually talked to me about it... i thought he'd be like "ok thats cool... want to go grab a shake?," or something to avoid the conversation but we talked and it felt good.

I ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO TELL THE PEOPLE THAT THEY LOVE AND KNOW THAT WILL SUPPORT THEM.

He told me he'll always love me no matter what... I'm glad u told him! I wouldn't have had the courage w/o you guys!!! so THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And good luck to you all!!!!!! :):P :wub:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • vsg.with.sharon

      Hey everyone!
      I’m new here! Looking for some friends! 🥰
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×