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Does Anyone Go Back And Forth With Doubts?



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I think all the emotions you all are having are completely normal. As one post stated, this is an individual journey for each of us and we have to make the decision that is in our best interest. For me, I think the surgery has been like how they say you forget so quickly about the pains of child birth. :-) I am seven months out and down 80 lbs. The pre-op, surgery, full liquid diet, etc. seems like so long ago and I don't even think about that anymore. I'm too busy enjoying my new life with a happier attitude, more confidence, better health and just an overall better ME!

I know there is a big fear of what if something happens to you during surgery or you have a complication. That is a very real fear. But try to remind yourself that most of us if we continued on the same path carrying around the extra weight would possibly end up as a statistic of death by heart disease or other issues related to being overweight. I'm no longer sitting on the sidelines watching my life pass me by...I'm living life!

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I think this is normal, Optimist01, to go back and forth... at least that's what I have been telling myself about my own see-sawing. I am see-sawing back and forth about sleeve or bypass.

I used to see-saw about whether or not to have surgery. I am not a big mirror person. In other words, I never, I mean NEVER look at my own reflection in mirrors, windows, chrome, nothing! I know I'm obese no need to confirm it by looking at my reflection. I recently took pictures of myself... well, those pictures show me that I am a LOT larger than my mind sees me! So the see-saw is over about surgery or no surgery. From my own history of yo-yo dieting I know I need a tool to lose this weight. Heck, I took Chantix to stop smoking after 42 yrs, I was finally ready to stop smoking and it worked. I see this surgery as my 'Chantix' for weight loss because I am finally ready to make the commitment to lose weight forever.

In my heart I know the answer just as in your heart you know the answer. Sometimes we ask questions because we need to hear others' validations for our decisions. Good luck to you.

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I just read something in a book that said "Comfort zones don't have to be comfortable - they're just familiar". I think the struggle with whether to have the surgery or not can be tied to that statement in a sense. Being overweight is something we have known as our normal for years and years. Imagine your life outside that comfort zone. There are hundreds and hundreds of people on this board that are a testiment to the fact that we can have a new comfort zone.

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Most definitely. But I'm tired of hiding and not living my life the way I want. This will be a painful and long process but I'm ready!!!!

2013 is my year....SD 12/3/12 BK NY

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I felt like this too. I just had surgery last Friday. One minute I was excited, the next I felt I was going to vomit. In my case, I did the one step at a time, and tried not to think aboout it too much. I know, easier said than done. But it really helped. For the last few weeks, I just focused on what I needed to do, enjoyed my last meals, and kept thinking about Thanksgiving, where for the first time EVER, I won't feel like everyone is looking at me and noticing how much weight I've gained since last thanksgiving when I saw them.

I pinned workouts, clothes, and inspirational quotes on my Pinterest boards. Oh, and buying clothes a couple weeks before for a pre-planned cruise cemented my decision. I went home from my usual places like Kohls and Ross in tears several times cause I was too fat for the clothes I want to wear. I sucked it up and bought some clothes in my size, (ugh!) but decided that was the last time I'd cry because I was too fat for average size clothes. All I can suggest is every time you think of a reason to have the surgery, write it down, and pull out the list when you have doubts. In my case there were so, so many reasons to have it than not to.

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I go through the "I can't waits" to the " what if I die?" several times a day. I actually found and pulled out a life insurance policy I had and forgot about and gave it to my husband. Needless to say, he was not pleased.

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Thats a good idea of writing a list as to why you should have the surgery and why you shouldn't and you are right, I bet the list as to why I should have it will be longer than the list as to why I shouldn't! Most of why I shouldn't would be fears, most of why I should would be valid health reasons.

My problem is a double edged sword.. I have 2.5 months to research and talk to folks who have had or are planning for it like here on the boards but the also I have 2.5 months to over analyze everything and drive myself nuts!! LOL

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I go through this a lot. My surgery is Sept 17th. I have never had surgery for anything. So this is my very first time. My mind is racing a mile a minute. With fear, happiness, scared, elated....etc. So I am just trying to stay positive. I watch/read stories others have written about their surgery and my emotions change. Some stories make me think "this is why you are gettting the surgery" and some that I see make me think "is the surgery really necessary" I keep telling myself yes because i am 30, 5'3, 302lb and i have a family that needs me (husband and 4 children). I would like any and all prayers as i am going through this journey.

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I am the same way - mine is scheduled for next Wed @ 7:30 am some days I'm excited & other

days I'm like what am I getting myself into, you read stories & you start to wonder but then I bring myself back to reality, everyone's experience is their experience - I will have my own - everyones body is different & will react differently... Right now I'm day 5 liquid diet & i already can't wait for the day I can't actually eat something other then a little piece of carrots & shakes & Water

Good luck! You're in the home stretch!

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I got a car loan, so I no longer feel guilty about getting the surgery done. I was going back and forth before trying to decide to get a car with the money I had for the surgery or not. I tell you, having almost decided that I would have to put off or cancel the surgery made me want it even more. So, I am done second guessing myself.

I really want to be able to play with my kids and

not worry about not being able to get up off the floor without help. Also, while I don't have any of the typical comorbidities, most of my family does and I don't want to just continue on til it's my turn. My sis is only 2 years older than I with diabetes, a fib and has already had a mini stroke. I am more scared of a stroke than I am of having the surgery done, so I think I'm set.

I hope you are able to decide what is the best for you. I think I won't freak out again til I get to Mexico. Of course, I still have two months to have the doubts creep back up on me!

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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