How will I keep my secret in this situation?

[jojo41 0]

You've had some great answes here so I'm not going to add to that, but just to let you know how easy it is I have a couple of regular dinner situations that I thought would be a nightmare after I had surgery and they have not been a problem.

We have a once a month trivia/dinner that we go to with 10 other friends. I've been twice since my surgery (17th Jul) and NO ONE has noticed my much smaller portion.

The other is a once a month get together with family, and I don't mean any family I mean my loud, food lovin, ITALIAN family whose mantra is MANGIA...MANGIA... MANGIA!!!! (eat, eat, eat)

There is sooooo much food on the table we could feed a third world country.

And guess what??.......NO ONE noticed....everyone was too busy stuffing there own faces and talking that no one noticed I had about 1/16 of my normal size portion.

Just be prepared if someone does manage to notice just tell them you had a big lunch, trying to cut back or you've had a bit of a stomach bug.

Jo

[PatU 0]

You can do it!! It's been three weeks and I have been able to keep my secret from my parents, my mother-in-law and my children (17 year old twin boys and a 20 year old daughter). You just have to be creative in your answers. I only started eating solids yesterday and I did have to "fib" a little to the boys who noticed I was only eating broth. I just told them I was trying another rather strict diet and entering the Mrs. Arkansas pageant next year (for added effect). The optimistic one wondered why I was even bothering at all (aren't kids great?!). I had dinner with my mother-in-law on Friday and she asked why I was only eating Soup for dinner. I just said I had a big lunch and not very hungry. Subject dropped.

I have a party at my sister's house on Saturday and I'm sure my parents will say something about the fact that I'm not eating much. I don't know how many diets you have been on in the past but my parents are well aware of my failed attempts. Me saying I'm on another one won't phase them a bit!

As said in previous replies, most people don't even notice what someone is or isn't eating. I would think they would be more curious if you skipped your regular events.

Good luck!

PatU

[mini_me 3]

One group is called the "international dinner club". It consists of 6 couples where we dine on a home-made ethnic meal every other month. This is a a pot luck where we all contribute a part of the the meal according to the country chosen by the host. It's always a really delicious multi-course. Unfortunately, these dinners are often a variation of chicken - which is not easilly digestable for a banded person. Also - appetizers, Soup, salad, bread, entree, veg, dessert - all home-made!

The 2nd group is called the "lunch bunch". It's a group of 8 women who get together for lunch to Celebrate each other's birthdays. We had been meeting in restaurants but now we've decided to save money and instead take turns hosting these celebrations in our homes. The hostess will prepare the entire luncheon. Eating in a restaurant would have been easier because I could order what I want, but when you eat at someone's home, you get what they serve. What's a bandster to do and still be polite? A typical lunch will be chicken ceasar salad or cruisant sandwiches.

Susan

well, i am keeping mine secret by defining my "diet" using general bandster rules. i tell my friends that my recipe for a good diet is eating my Proteins first, the veggies, then carbs if i am still hungry. i am staying away from breads and any foods that i can eat with a spoon, as well as sugar. i also tell them that i am significantly reducing my portions. i have used this diet explanation for each and every occasion where someone has noticed my eating habits, and noone has suspected a thing. i have a few valued friends who know, and they keep me posted on the 'office' gossip concerning my diet. there are two girls who have adopted my eating habits, and they have managed to lose more weight than me. i have found it very easy to explain my way out of it.

also, in my experience, people tend to think of everything in terms of themselves. so when someone notices that i am eating very little and i tell them that part of my new diet is Portion Control, it is easy to grab onto one of their remarks about how they could never JUST eat THAT much, and i run with it! i tell them sure they can. i tell them that i took the first week to eat tiny amounts every 1 1/2 hours throughout the day to shrink my stomach. i explain my uninformed biology of the stomach shrinking and how smaller portions make you feel fuller once your stomach is full.

i even have my friends convinced that if you do not drink with your meals that the food will stay in their stomach longer and make the fuller for longer periods of time.

despite their knowledge of WW practices, etc, they see me losing weight and adopt my practice--AND IT IS WORKING FOR THOSE WHO USE IT!!

so,do not fear...it will not be as hard as you think.

best of luck to you!! solicit a response from wheetsin, she always has REALLY good advice.

[Elisabethsew 50]

Just be honest and tell the social club people that you're watching your weight and are simply eating less... it's the truth. I have been banded for 5 1/2 months and only 2 people know.

[sweetsue 1]

Me again, thank you for all the feedback so far. You all make me feel much better. The reason I think that people may actually take notice is because I'm the kind of person who would notice. For example, if I searched for the perfect recipe and worked to make a wonderfully delicious appetizer for my friends, I serve a small plate of it in front of everyone there sitting at the dining room table ..... everyone is raving over how superbly delicious it is and then there's a person sitting there who's refusing to even give it a try, yeah I might be just a little bit put off. That's what I'm worried about - the cook's pride. Somehow I'll manage somehow I guess. Hopefully you guys are right and they won't notice.

[HarleyNana 10]

It's not really a secret to me, but when people inquire about my weight loss, (I'll share with anyone who wants to listen), but some times it's just not the right place or time to explain, so I just say I'm trying to eat healthier and more Protein.

Seems to do the trick for me.

[itsyvonne 0]

Why don't you start practicing now ... pretend that you're already banded and eat like a bandster at these gatherings and see if anyone notices. You could say you're on a diet and you're trying behavioral modification techniques like serving yourself smaller portions, eating slower, and taking smaller bites. By the time you actually get restriction, nobody should notice any difference. :eek: Worth a try...easier said than done, I'm sure!

[BandyKandy 0]

I find that its not always all that easy to keep it from people who I am around on a regular basis. I am pretty restricted, (and yet still gaining weight right now) I've been banded over 2 1/2 years. I don't eat like most people eat. At restaurants, I order Soup usually. At a buffet or pot luck style meal, I take small amounts of things I think I can eat.. I do sometimes put food on my kids plate if I get full too fast, and it looks noticable. I have all the excuses in the world when it gets noticed.. At work I say.. I just eat really slow, I use the big lunch excuse, stomach ache, trying to lose weight... etc... If I was actually served a full serving of food that the hostess dishes up... For me it would be very noticable. I wouldn't be able to eat enough to not be very noticed.. and I'd be so nervous that I'd get stuck for sure. I told the people really close to me.. My kids, my best friends, my guy. Everyone else knows nothing. When I was losing on a regular basis, I just said I was eating less and moving more. (the truth) Now I'm sure people look at me and wonder how I can possibly eat so little, and yet gain weight. They are most likely baffled, kinda like me wondering why that guy had that reduction surgery!

[bishowa 0]

We eat out with clients a lot -- because of my job. Most folks think my husband & I are on a high Protein diet with Portion Control -- like Protein Power. I let it go at that. Funny story:

My 5 year old niece "out'd us" at her family birthday party -- first thing out of her mouth was "Mike & Nane had surgery." My sister almost fell through the floor. Had no choice but to admit it was lap band. What else do you & your husband have done at same time? Guesses included car wrecks, liposuction, bypass.

She called when they got home -- to apologize. I just laughed.

3 weeks post-op. I'm down 18 pounds. Mike's down 22.

[CCBSTX 0]

Just say you are dieting and keep it to yourself. I kept my band to myself (only my husband, kids, and best friend know). Its worked out great. After the intial banding period and recovery, you'll get a guage on what "agrees" with your band. When I am tight, a Soup and salad always agrees!

Shawn

[Wheetsin 714]

chicken - which is not easilly digestable for a banded person.

It isn't?!? Please don't tell my band that!

I eat chicken virtually every day.

I think you might have been drawn into the "if it happens once, that makes it true for all" party. I know several bandsters, and only one who has any problem with chicken at all.

I can't offer much to address your initial question b/c I wasn't ashamed of my band and had nothing to hide, so I'm not really clever with how to hide it. Maybe just tell people you're eating less to lose weight.

[faybie 0]

Wheetsin, You put up a new pic on your avatar! We can see you now. LOL. I really liked the old one because it was a bit mysterious and comical. I don't know if you intended it that way. It was cute.

Susan,

I had bunco with the girls last night. This time they decided to have it at a local Mexican restaurant. Everyone was served a single portion of fajitas. I ate a few pieces of chicken, little guacamole, little sour cream, little cheese and a bite or two of the pica de gallo. While I slowly ate my food, I talked and laughed. Everyone but one other person scarfed down their whole meal. Not a single person noticed how little I ate. I asked for a togo box. They started passing down tortillas and offering their unused guacamole etc. to fill up my box. LOL.

[Cathy21 0]

I live in such a small town that if someone misses a week at Wal Mart someone working there will ask if you've been sick!HAHA. I elected to tell everyone about my surgery. I have never had so much support! The only person that I have not told is my MOTHER! Who lives in another state. When I went home at Easter, I just told her I was cutting back. She knows how I have struggled for years with my weight but surgery would be a cardinal sin.

I too go out with a group of ladies once a month (for the past 18 years) and they are so proud of me and they always ask "is there anyhting here you can eat?" I tell them sure but just smaller portions. The only thing I can't eat is breads and Pasta. When I told my Dr. that he laughed and said "Do you really need to be eating that anyway!" I guess he has a point!

My point is this... it's your choice of who you tell. I am a very outgoing and outspoken person. I don't let anything anyone says hurt my feelings nor do I care. It sounds like you are just the opposite. But instead of being mortified and embarressed when the in laws ask how it's going just try to remember that they are trying to be supportive.

[Meme 0]

Hi everyone. I did'nt tell my family. My mom was my babysitter when I had my surg. and she still don't know that I had the lapband. I just don't want everyone going " so how much have you lost so far!" I lost a lot before the band so I just let everyone think that I was just loseing more.

[mariecarmen 1]

I also have a regular large group that I go out to dinner with. I consider them all good friends and won't mind telling them about the band when asked. I've already confided to one about the pre-op testing and her reaction was exactly as I expected--supportive, interested, understanding.

I remember one time we were together and someone mentioned how much weight the mayor's wife had recently lost and how great she looked. One of the diners who works in the mayor's office said she'd had the bypass surgery and kept telling everyone she was "just dieting and exercising."

For me, I'd rather be upfront than try and concoct a story that would embarrass me later if the truth came out. Who cares, really?

People will talk regardless.