Has anyone else noticed that men and women treat you different since losing weight? Men certainly do not hide the fact they stare, hold doors, flirt, and smile more and don't get me wrong, its flattering. Its a great feeling however women become catty and not so nice. Nothing else about me other then my weight has changed. I have actually lost female friends over my weight loss.

Michelle xo

So unfortunate, but I understand. Yes, it does happen. It may sound strange, but being overweight has actually made me a better person. I feel that everything happens for a reason, and you learn and grow from experiences. I went from being very thin and fit to 120 lbs overweight. When I was thin, I had more "guy" friends. Could have been because I was involved in sports, who knows. After my weight gain, I have more "girl" friends. I don't really miss my guy friends, maybe because I am married with a family. I seriously hope I don't loose my girl friends with my weight loss, but if I do, I guess they weren't friends after all.

One thing I have noticed is that I am a nicer, more understanding and less judgmental. I don't think I would be this way had I always remained thin. It's not that I was a nasty person before I gained the weight, just not as "aware" as I am now. I am looking forward to sports, being able to enjoy doing things with my family that I haven't been able to do for 10 years. I am grateful for all this has taught me. I don't know how certain people will treat me, but I know how to now treat others and I have a different outlook. Sounds kinda crazy, geez- I sure hope I pass my psych exam next week.....lol

Michelle, I could have written your post if I'd thought of it. I've experienced both sides: friendlier men and catty women... and I've lost a couple of "good friends" over my weight loss. It's sad that we women are so competitive with one another when we should really support each other more.

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around why someone would get angry because I've lost weight and become healthier, but it's happened with two people, including my sister in law.

I'm not sure that being obese made me a nicer person. My sense of humor has always been slightly sarcastic and I was the funny fat girl. I'm trying now to learn to quit making jokes about myself being fat, so I'm changing the dynamics of several of my relationships. This seems to make others uncomfortable, especially those who were used to being the "hot" girl (comparatively) in the relationship.

Has anyone else noticed that men and women treat you different since losing weight? Men certainly do not hide the fact they stare' date=' hold doors, flirt, and smile more and don't get me wrong, its flattering. Its a great feeling however women become catty and not so nice. Nothing else about me other then my weight has changed. I have actually lost female friends over my weight loss.

Michelle xo[/quote']

I lost all my friends :-( due to weight loss they all big girls and don't think I should on gotten this I guess they weren't really my friends to begin with. So it's a little rough for me no one to call and say hey let's go shopping but I got my family

I am begining to lose girl friends because of my weight loss, they don't even know about the surgery they think I am on a diet and working out (didn't feel too comfortable telling them). They always want to go out and eat and I always give an excuse bc I cant go out and eat yet and their response is "I forgot your skinny mini now". It makes me so upset. All my family is in NYC and I'm out here in Jersey and now I have no one to hang out with. I guess I learned who my real friends are.

I don't want to say that I am happy there are others this is happening to, but at least I know I am not nuts. I lost very good friends who are thin! I don't get it. Its so sad.

Anew where are you in Jersey? I am in south jersey.

Michelle xo

In 2002 I got the lap band and lost enough weight by 2005 that I decided to get a tummy tuck. I was treated completely different by men and women. Men seemed to really like me before even knowing my name or anything about me. I have been overweight my entire life and I guess used to people knowing me for me and not judging me right away by how I looked. My band stopped working in 2005/2006 and I gained all of the weight back. I felt so beyond guilty and disgusted with myself, how could I out myself through all of that and gain everything back??? I think back and I was much younger and was not prepared mentally. I did not feel comfortable in my body. I hated that type of attention. It was do fake and shallow. I liked when people got to know me for who I was and not cause I'm skinny and what society expects you to look like. Fast forward to 2012. I got up to the same weight I was before Lapband in 2002. I was diagnosed with diabetes in April. I got my Lapband removed and converted to the sleeve. I learned so much from everything I've gone through. Now I'm determined to be healthy. I am doing this for the right reasons and I know what to expect as far as treatment and judgement from others.

Michelle I am in Princeton, NJ. where in SJ are you?

Yes, I've experienced all of this.. Makes you wonder if these people were friends of yours in the first place or just hanging out with you to make themselves feel better!!!!

I have noticed how badly women treat each other in my office. Since our HR department has nothing to do and needs to justify their existence somehow, they call a lot of staff meetings for no real reason. And then they tempt us all to come by providing lunch. I always find the pre-meeting buffet line and endless source of amusement.

I went to one of these meetings the other day with my friend Joy and we went to the buffet line before going into the conference room. HR had decided on an Italian theme, so there was pizza, lasagna, manicotti, salad, and Italian bread. I noticed that the first people in line were some of the larger women of the office. Now, my friend Joy isn't runway-model thin, but she is by no means overweight. And she's normally a very sweet person, but I saw her flash this evil grin to herself as we approached the buffet.

She walked across the buffet line looking at the food, and in full stage voice she said to me, "Oh, pizza...yeah...too many points! I'm doing Weight Watchers and fattening food has a LOT of points...Oh, lasagna...WAY too many points! Yeah, I'm doing WEIGHT WATCHERS and lasagna has TOO many POINTS for me...You know I CAN'T have that many points..."

Needless to say, the women in line all threw her dirty looks and gnashed their teeth. I was shocked that Joy would be so catty and obnoxious. I even heard one of the women in line say, "She does this EVERY time...why does she always have to ruin it for everyone?!"

Then Joy moved up to the salad and said, "Oh, I think I'll just have some salad. You know, salad so good for you and it fills me right up! Salad doesn't have a lot of points...you know I'm doing WEIGHT WATCHERS..." By this point, I was mortified. I thought the other women were going to start beating her with the lasagna spatulas!

I'm still at a loss as to why Joy behaved this way. It seemed so juvenile and catty. And then she wonders why none of the other women in the office like her...

I am begining to lose girl friends because of my weight loss' date=' they don't even know about the surgery they think I am on a diet and working out (didn't feel too comfortable telling them). They always want to go out and eat and I always give an excuse bc I cant go out and eat yet and their response is "I forgot your skinny mini now". It makes me so upset. All my family is in NYC and I'm out here in Jersey and now I have no one to hang out with. I guess I learned who my real friends are.[/quote']

I'll hang out with you!! Lol. But I'm pre surgery (still fat) if you don't mind!! Lol. I have the same fear but really it is what it is. You love me how I am, far or skinny. If you leave, it's for shear jealousy!!

Share pics so we can see what the guys love and the girls hate! Keep up the good work and hold your head high! Your weight loss is for the betterment of you and your health!

I'll hang out with you!! Lol. But I'm pre surgery (still fat) if you don't mind!! Lol. I have the same fear but really it is what it is. You love me how I am' date=' far or skinny. If you leave, it's for shear jealousy!![/quote']

Lol! To me it isn't about the size. Its about the friendship that matters. Just wish my old friends would of thought the same!.

I lost all my friends :-( due to weight loss they all big girls and don't think I should on gotten this I guess they weren't really my friends to begin with. So it's a little rough for me no one to call and say hey let's go shopping but I got my family

So sorry to hear that . Do what's right for u and good people will be attracted to that. Sending u support and Peace ❤

I have noticed how badly women treat each other in my office. Since our HR department has nothing to do and needs to justify their existence somehow' date=' they call a lot of staff meetings for no real reason. And then they tempt us all to come by providing lunch. I always find the pre-meeting buffet line and endless source of amusement.

I went to one of these meetings the other day with my friend Joy and we went to the buffet line before going into the conference room. HR had decided on an Italian theme, so there was pizza, lasagna, manicotti, salad, and Italian bread. I noticed that the first people in line were some of the larger women of the office. Now, my friend Joy isn't runway-model thin, but she is by no means overweight. And she's normally a very sweet person, but I saw her flash this evil grin to herself as we approached the buffet.

She walked across the buffet line looking at the food, and in full stage voice she said to me, "Oh, pizza...yeah...too many points! I'm doing Weight Watchers and fattening food has a LOT of points...Oh, lasagna...WAY too many points! Yeah, I'm doing WEIGHT WATCHERS and lasagna has TOO many POINTS for me...You know I CAN'T have that many points..."

Needless to say, the women in line all threw her dirty looks and gnashed their teeth. I was shocked that Joy would be so catty and obnoxious. I even heard one of the women in line say, "She does this EVERY time...why does she always have to ruin it for everyone?!"

Then Joy moved up to the salad and said, "Oh, I think I'll just have some salad. You know, salad so good for you and it fills me right up! Salad doesn't have a lot of points...you know I'm doing WEIGHT WATCHERS..." By this point, I was mortified. I thought the other women were going to start beating her with the lasagna spatulas!

I'm still at a loss as to why Joy behaved this way. It seemed so juvenile and catty. And then she wonders why none of the other women in the office like her...[/quote']

This is hilarious. It does go to show one of the differences between men and women. If a man said this stuff in front of other men, he wouldn't even be heard. I work in an industrial environment, and it's mostly men, and if you said there was a roach in the pizza, no one would care. They still eat what they want to eat.

I'm pre-op, have to wait till 8/31. I only have a few close friends and just like me they are fat, we eat together, we play together, then we eat again. One of the friends if very supportive, even to the point that she is looking into surgery herself. The other has looked into it but because her PCP refused to support her she abandoned the idea. the later is really worrying me. In the last few weeks, she has almost stopped calling and doesn't return calls for days. We have been friends for more than 20 years (all fat) and i don't want to loose that. All her words are supportive, but her actions are not. Can i fix this before it gets any worse?