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Is Keeping The Secret Possible?



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First off, great topic Nikki, that created lots of pages and people here like you :) Also Management is prolly pissed off that you are pretty and that people like you so they have to pick on some thing to try to make themselves feel good and bring others down to their level. Next time they say something just give a firm ok and go about your biz. Then throw an unexpected compliment out a few days later. Women like to fight and one has to be bigger, may as well be you (for now) love the pun :)

As for telling people I fear this as well. I plan to tell people at work I quit porking out so much. Not sure about my husband, I am sure he will find out really soon after and get super pissed off that I make big decisions and don't include him. But this is the only way as if I tell him I am doing it he will control me and I won't be able to do this.

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I've been talking about exercising and eating healthier, then I'm going to get dx'd with a stomach ulcer which means I'll have a special diet for 2 weeks to prepare for the surgery to repair it. After surgery, I will also have to follow a special diet. I will then decide that since I'm already exercising and now due to the surgery, I'm losing weight, I might as well make the best of it and keep it up!

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wow i really dont know what to tell you on this one. go with your heart. i love my job and co workers. everyone there is super supportive and excited for me to get my surgery. ive held back from a few family members but hey who cares what people think. you are doing the surgery for you and only you!! good luck to ya

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What I find most interesting about this thread is how many have this idea that lying is a black and white issue: that lying is somehow bad and telling the truth is somehow good.

If someone asks how you lost the weight and you don't admit to the surgery, are you lying? Yes. You chose to answer with a lie.

If I won the lottery and someone asked how I got rich, and I said hard work and investing...you get the point.

But so what? Own your lie. Be proud of it, lying is a skill that everyone should practice. Our whole culture is predicated on dishonesty as a tool for good. Marketing drives the whole economy. Sell the pros, only admit to the cons if you're required by law.

People who ask personal questions deserve whatever answer you choose to give them. It would be like if someone asks your age, or salary, or your sexual orientation, or YOUR WEIGHT. It's none of their business, but you're trapped into pleading the fizifth OR defending yourself with a lie of omission.

Go ahead, youre not under oath. No one is sending you to hell or bed without supper.

That's the point I feel a few of people were trying to make earlier. Don't lie to yourself about the fact that youre lying. But don't feel bad about lying, it's your right as an American. ;)

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Personally, I do NOT think it will be a dead give-away. A lot of people do not even have the thought of WLS on their brains.

I only told 3 people. And those 3 people were apart of my "home nursing" team. My family does not even know. Including my own mother.

My co-workers are not snotty but they love to gossip and I knew darn well that telling anyone I even had surgey would be a gamble. Of course my supervisor knew I was out for surgery but she didn't know what kind of surgery. You DO NOT have to disclose the type of surgery your having to your HR dept. It is your privacy. As long as you have the proper documentation from your doctor you should have no issues with taking the time off. Everyone was wondering what I was doing during my two weeks of "vacation" and I just said relaxing. Again, it's none of their business!

I had surgery on July 17th and I'm down 58lbs. I've only had a couple of people come up to me and say "you've lost a lot of weight". Of course they ask what kind of plan I'm on and I keep it simple... Lots of exercise, high Protein, low carb diet. Like someone else said, that is not lying. Your just skipping a "minor" detail. lol. It is what it is.

As far as going out to eat in the car... Unnecessary to me. Why should you inconvience yourself like that!? First off, that's going to get old and secondly it's going to draw attention to yourself. Who REALLY does that!!? Not a lot of people. What you can do is choose to eat lunch at a later time or at a time when a lot of people aren't in the kitchen area or whereever you eat. When I came back to work, I was still on my liquid diet. In fact I rolled up to work with bottles of Clear Liquids. Noone said anything and I didn't bring attention to myself. I sipped sipped sipped and called it a day! Whatever eating stage your on, it's just not that serious to go hide in a corner and eat. Your eventually going to be eating regular foods just smaller portions. For the time being you can eat whereever whenever and just say your on a liquid diet or whatever kind of diet. After all, if all they see you eating is applesauce or apple juice their going to think you lost the weight by being on a crash diet. ;)

I think if your the type of person who goes to work to work and is not there to make friends and spread your business (there's lot of women at my job who do this) for extra attention you should not feel obligated to tell anyone anything about your personal decisions. It's personal and if you do not feel comfortable or do not want to hear negative comments or be the topic of discussion you should hold your head up high and continue to keep YOUR SECRET!!!

Good luck to you!

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I told very few people about my new life! The nosey people @ work (so i didnt have to lift) i told them and a few nosey neighbors' date=' I had hemorroid surgery!! LOL i Took my week off, no one asks now how my hemorroids are!!! LOL[/quote']

I like that answer. You made my day

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I told everyone. My best friend did not like it and two others told me I wasn't "that big." who were they trying to kid? This surgery is all about me and I share my truth with everyone. Management are just people and after all is done' date=' it is forgotten. Snotty ppl can go straight to hell and hug the devil as far as I'm concerned.

Congrats to all is VSG's! We rule ! :)[/quote']

I love it

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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