Need Mental Change

[Meredith 8]

Here goes... I'm getting sleeved Wednesday morning in Myrtle Beach, SC, and am psychologically struggling with replacing my "eating fun" with real fun. I've greatly struggled on my pre-op diet, mainly because I don't know how to say "no" to food or an easy fix for dinner over my Protein Shakes. My husband and I have always associated fun with food if it's watching a movie on tv and eating a whole bag of Oreo's or wanting to go out to eat for a new experience when we travel a bit. He knows how important it is to stick on my pre-op and even get the nutrients I need post-op, but we both don't know how to deal with me drinking a Protein Shake and whatnot. I told him that post-op, going out to eat will be super cheap since it's just going to be him eating for the most part, and I'll nibble here and there, but I don't want my need to have fun to revolve around food. My husband has gained a lot of weight since we started dating (3 years ago), and I would love to say that once I start losing weight and feeling better, I'll want to get out more and either go kayaking, hiking, etc.

I guess through all of this, I'm just looking for some guidance, advice and help off the cliff. I need this surgery to change me not only physically but mentally also. With a surgery next week, it might be too late to change BEFORE, but I want to be able to deal with the change even better when I HAVE to.

[PEvette 297]

I had the same concerns when I started this process, this will be revision surgery for me because the lap band did not work for me....when I was in my psy consult I told her my concerns and she agreed that my concerns were valid and I should seek therapy, so I found a therapist and she has been great...she has already helped me and I've only had 2 sessions with her....when I told my friends who have also had WLS they just told me you can get the same thing reading a book....and I told them, I need someone who will have a verbal exchange with me, and a book cant do that...

I would encourage you to seek a therapist...

[allmyjoy 21]

Good luck! I am single, 17 days post op. theres absolutely nothing to donthat doesnt consist of food or drinks! I'm excited to hear some responses as well! Your husband will be very supportive!!

[Gastricsleeve4me 186]

Good luck! I am single, 17 days post op. theres absolutely nothing to donthat doesnt consist of food or drinks! I'm excited to hear some responses as well! Your husband will be very supportive!!

allmyjoy...I'm only 7 days in and amazed at how much my life revolved/revolves around food. Being single and without kids, I've always viewed it as a luxuory having extra time to do whatever I want. But it turns out a lot of that was centered around food I'm feeling like I really need to find a hobby. I used to take classes one or two nights a week through the local adult school (most communities have programs) - I've done painting, dancing, writing, etc. Thinking it may be time to spin that back up. And once I'm cleared for more exercise, maybe a night getting in a group fitness class. SOMETHING to keep me busy so I'm not roaming the pantry like I used to. So weird!

[Formerly Fluffy 5]

I had the same concerns when I started this process, this will be revision surgery for me because the lap band did not work for me....when I was in my psy consult I told her my concerns and she agreed that my concerns were valid and I should seek therapy, so I found a therapist and she has been great...she has already helped me and I've only had 2 sessions with her....when I told my friends who have also had WLS they just told me you can get the same thing reading a book....and I told them, I need someone who will have a verbal exchange with me, and a book cant do that...

I would encourage you to seek a therapist...

Good luck with the revision. One thing I hear all the time from those that revised from the band is that VSG works the was the band was SUPPOSE to work!

[Lissa 2,631]

It's really not that difficult to change up your activities. Instead of going out to eat with friends, why not go to a movie, or visit a bookstore? If you're up for more active things, taking walks, going swimming, or even playing pool require concentration without food involved.

I'm working on getting back into some of my pre-op hobbies, like sewing and reading. I've also added a daily swim (more like a dog paddle) to my routine and, of course, hitting the gym.

When going out to eat, if you're really close with someone, you could always share a meal instead of ordering two separate meals. It brings the cost down considerably as well.

[MinaT 669]

It's hard as a mother and wife to have to cook for others, especially since I am on the pre-op shake right now.

I've been through a six month program so far, and they have had time to adjust to things, I started cooking less carb foods and more Protein and my husband and son has benefited by it. I felt responsible for the family's and extended family like my parents and brother's happiness, and as the matriarch, the party thrower it's always been feeding my family big meals, Pasta, sausage, bread, salad, and dessert. I get orders from the family for homemade potato dumpling Soup and chop suey and I make literally 2 - 12 quart pots of things at a time. I've changed the way I have had my family parties.

For the last six months I have been making more Protein, and vegetables and cutting down on the carbs, instead of making 5 pounds of broasted potatoes, I would make one box of low sodium rice a roni and a HUGE amount of brussel sprouts and salad, so there was only a little rice to go around lol.

I'm sure your husband realizes how much your life is going to change after surgery. Hopefully he will be supportive and realize that sitting on the couch eating oreos in front of you isn't going to be supportive.

If you eat the stuff he is eating, you will get sick after surgery. Things are going to have to change and your lives are going to have to center around new things besides food for you to be healthy. After surgery perhaps start lowering his carb intake when you are cooking, and ask him to help you with your exercise by walking with you.

I'm worried because my husband is sedentary and even in his upper 40's he's big in online video games, my son plays them and I used to play a lot with them to be with them and do family things. I started exercising while they were playing and now I'm asking them to spend some time walking with me. Both of them are benefiting.

As a single person, going out and eating and socializing isn't too much of an issue. You order a hamburger with no bun, egg salad on lettuce, turkey burger with no bun, switch to wine (when you are allowed to drink) you can still have fun in settings because there is always protein choices and you don't have to chose what another person is eating, just yourself.

Keeping yourself busy as a single person though is hard though, but use the time to explore and learn new and adventurous things.

Good luck to you.

Perhaps finding a clever way to change your husband's diet and telling him you love him and need his support and talking things over again before surgery is what you guys need to do.