Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

Here goes... I'm getting sleeved Wednesday morning in Myrtle Beach, SC, and am psychologically struggling with replacing my "eating fun" with real fun. I've greatly struggled on my pre-op diet, mainly because I don't know how to say "no" to food or an easy fix for dinner over my Protein Shakes. My husband and I have always associated fun with food if it's watching a movie on tv and eating a whole bag of Oreo's or wanting to go out to eat for a new experience when we travel a bit. He knows how important it is to stick on my pre-op and even get the nutrients I need post-op, but we both don't know how to deal with me drinking a Protein Shake and whatnot. I told him that post-op, going out to eat will be super cheap since it's just going to be him eating for the most part, and I'll nibble here and there, but I don't want my need to have fun to revolve around food. My husband has gained a lot of weight since we started dating (3 years ago), and I would love to say that once I start losing weight and feeling better, I'll want to get out more and either go kayaking, hiking, etc.

I guess through all of this, I'm just looking for some guidance, advice and help off the cliff. I need this surgery to change me not only physically but mentally also. With a surgery next week, it might be too late to change BEFORE, but I want to be able to deal with the change even better when I HAVE to.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the same concerns when I started this process, this will be revision surgery for me because the lap band did not work for me....when I was in my psy consult I told her my concerns and she agreed that my concerns were valid and I should seek therapy, so I found a therapist and she has been great...she has already helped me and I've only had 2 sessions with her....when I told my friends who have also had WLS they just told me you can get the same thing reading a book....and I told them, I need someone who will have a verbal exchange with me, and a book cant do that...

I would encourage you to seek a therapist...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck! I am single, 17 days post op. theres absolutely nothing to donthat doesnt consist of food or drinks! I'm excited to hear some responses as well! Your husband will be very supportive!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good luck! I am single, 17 days post op. theres absolutely nothing to donthat doesnt consist of food or drinks! I'm excited to hear some responses as well! Your husband will be very supportive!!

allmyjoy...I'm only 7 days in and amazed at how much my life revolved/revolves around food. Being single and without kids, I've always viewed it as a luxuory having extra time to do whatever I want. But it turns out a lot of that was centered around food :( I'm feeling like I really need to find a hobby. I used to take classes one or two nights a week through the local adult school (most communities have programs) - I've done painting, dancing, writing, etc. Thinking it may be time to spin that back up. And once I'm cleared for more exercise, maybe a night getting in a group fitness class. SOMETHING to keep me busy so I'm not roaming the pantry like I used to. So weird!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had the same concerns when I started this process, this will be revision surgery for me because the lap band did not work for me....when I was in my psy consult I told her my concerns and she agreed that my concerns were valid and I should seek therapy, so I found a therapist and she has been great...she has already helped me and I've only had 2 sessions with her....when I told my friends who have also had WLS they just told me you can get the same thing reading a book....and I told them, I need someone who will have a verbal exchange with me, and a book cant do that...

I would encourage you to seek a therapist...

Good luck with the revision. One thing I hear all the time from those that revised from the band is that VSG works the was the band was SUPPOSE to work!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's really not that difficult to change up your activities. Instead of going out to eat with friends, why not go to a movie, or visit a bookstore? If you're up for more active things, taking walks, going swimming, or even playing pool require concentration without food involved.

I'm working on getting back into some of my pre-op hobbies, like sewing and reading. I've also added a daily swim (more like a dog paddle) to my routine and, of course, hitting the gym.

When going out to eat, if you're really close with someone, you could always share a meal instead of ordering two separate meals. It brings the cost down considerably as well.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's hard as a mother and wife to have to cook for others, especially since I am on the pre-op shake right now.

I've been through a six month program so far, and they have had time to adjust to things, I started cooking less carb foods and more Protein and my husband and son has benefited by it. I felt responsible for the family's and extended family like my parents and brother's happiness, and as the matriarch, the party thrower it's always been feeding my family big meals, Pasta, sausage, bread, salad, and dessert. I get orders from the family for homemade potato dumpling Soup and chop suey and I make literally 2 - 12 quart pots of things at a time. I've changed the way I have had my family parties.

For the last six months I have been making more Protein, and vegetables and cutting down on the carbs, instead of making 5 pounds of broasted potatoes, I would make one box of low sodium rice a roni and a HUGE amount of brussel sprouts and salad, so there was only a little rice to go around lol.

I'm sure your husband realizes how much your life is going to change after surgery. Hopefully he will be supportive and realize that sitting on the couch eating oreos in front of you isn't going to be supportive.

If you eat the stuff he is eating, you will get sick after surgery. Things are going to have to change and your lives are going to have to center around new things besides food for you to be healthy. After surgery perhaps start lowering his carb intake when you are cooking, and ask him to help you with your exercise by walking with you.

I'm worried because my husband is sedentary and even in his upper 40's he's big in online video games, my son plays them and I used to play a lot with them to be with them and do family things. I started exercising while they were playing and now I'm asking them to spend some time walking with me. Both of them are benefiting.

As a single person, going out and eating and socializing isn't too much of an issue. You order a hamburger with no bun, egg salad on lettuce, turkey burger with no bun, switch to wine (when you are allowed to drink) you can still have fun in settings because there is always protein choices and you don't have to chose what another person is eating, just yourself.

Keeping yourself busy as a single person though is hard though, but use the time to explore and learn new and adventurous things.

Good luck to you.

Perhaps finding a clever way to change your husband's diet and telling him you love him and need his support and talking things over again before surgery is what you guys need to do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×