Your Over Weight Friends?

[BettyBoop 28]

How are they treating you since you've lost so much weight?? Just curious.....

[Felicity549 47]

I haven't been sleeved yet. I have a good friend that got the lap band 1 year ago and didn't lose a single pound. Now that I qualify for the sleeve she has become so negative, trying to discourage the procedure, bad-mouthing the doctor, etc... Pure jealousy. I'm curious how she'll act once I am sleeved and start losing. If the negativity continues, there won't be a friendship! I'm hoping I'll influence her in a positive way and maybe she'll even convert to a sleeve, too.

[Dooter 1,457]

I've only lost 40, but my clothing size is visibly going down. My overweight friend will NOT even talk about the surgery, or ask questions about any aspect of it. Most people that know will ask how I feel, what can I eat and when, how much have I lost, "hey you look great"...stuff like that. Not her. Not a peep. It's kinda weird. I'm a little hurt, but oh well. We still get along otherwise. I suppose I might feel the same way in her position. Well, I would be flat out jealous, to tell the truth.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,281]

I have actually been very fortunate that none of my heavy or overweight friends have abandoned me. They have all been really supportive and constantly wishing they could somehow get the VSG too... LOL

[fluffylibra30 323]

i have always been the "fat friend". My girlfriends love that i have so much energy. It used to be everything we did revolved around food. Now we got to the gym, run in the park, we even went shopping. Shopping is so much more fun when you can pick your clothes. I am still in a bigger size than them, but for the most part we can shop in the same stores. We even picked out matching "goal" outfits lol. We still hit panera bread for a yummy lunch though. but now i get a salad or Soup, instead of salad, soup, bread and desert.

[kayte819 95]

I too have always been the "fat friend" so my friends are super supportive! I do have just one friend who is overweight & she is my biggest cheerleader! I feel very fortunate to have such encouraging & positive people around me! Maybe your friend will turn it around once the initial jealousy subsides.a bit

[Ms skinniness 3,003]

I haven't had anything negative said to me. I do get a lot of compliments from some one I work in the same office with. It makes me smile.

[RossJL 25]

I guess mine is a positive post :-)

Every single person that I choose to spend my time with is SO very supportive with my decision!

I see so many posts where people say they are told that they took the easy way out! Well, here's my opinion on that matter: undergoing surgery, being in pain for days, risking health problems, not eating a thing for WEEKS and having food restrictions for the rest of your life is NOT the easy way out!

[Lyra 43]

I'm still pre-surgery and most of my friends have been supportive. The only friend that I've seen glimmerings of problems with is also overweight and is losing through exercise and dieting. She kinda has this "holier than thou" attitude and said that if so many people lose weight with the surgery then why don't I just eat what they eat and I'll lose weight. I looked her straight in the eye and said, "I don't know K., can you YOU only eat 2 oz for a meal?" That's kinda shut her up for awhile but I see some problems coming down the pike. *shrug* I look at it that every friendship has an ebb and flow. Perhaps we'll stay friends, perhaps we wont. Maybe we'll just 'do lunch' and only talk about surface stuff and perhaps we'll be BFFs. Or perhaps we'll come back to being friends in a year or two. Life changes too much to be worried about something like that.

[missmeow 156]

Well, try to put yourself in their shoes. Your getting surgery and losing weight may affect them in that they feel that you have rejected your fatness in favor of surgery and now you may reject them too because they are fat. I think it has more to do with feeling a little dumped on than jealousy. Like, "oh now she is going to be thin like other people and start judging me too" fear creeping up.

[mesaucedo 207]

I was worried about this a lot. I have a friend who is currently abroad in Ghana and she knows about the surgery. Before she left we didn't talk much about it, but now we do. We write letters every week and she has shared that she is jealous and trying to lose weight too now. It makes me sad that she feels this way, but I get it. We both took comfort that we were bigger together. It is very hard being large at UCSB. Everyone here is so skinny! I told her that no matter what, we will still have our string relationship. I am hoping she comes around and will feel comfortable with it soon!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Three friends are overweight. One of them is a Dr. and when I told her at first she was aginst but said she would try and be positive around me. Now that she has seen now well I have done she has talked about wishing she could get it too. (Her BMI is below 35) The second had part of her stomach removed 30 years ago after an accident, lost a bunch of weight but has gained some of it back. She was worried at first that I would not be the same old me if I got skinny... and my weight was part of my persona. She is now a big supporter and seems to see it is still me in just a smaller package. The third one has gained and lost many times... and is thinking about the possibility of getting the sleeve too after seeing my success. She has been very positive and curious every time I see her. I have to say when she had lost weight in the past, I was not as nice about it to her... I was so jealous and felt like such a personal failure.I never said anything bad to her, but avoided seeing her, because of my feelings. I am ashamed of that behavior, and kind of shocked at myself when those feelings came up.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

None of my friends are particularly overweight, not that any of them are in great shape, either. I haven't really had any weird comments from them.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Mine are happy for me and wish they had this great tool!

[Dooter 1,457]

Mine are happy for me and wish they had this great tool!

Well, you're just too darned cute to NOT be happy for!!