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Unsupportive Father?



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My entire father's side of the family is moribly obese, and no one has ever done anything about it. They all claim to know the secret of losing weight, but they don't. I told my father about the surgery and he like I am sure a lot of other people said, well it is how much you eat and blah blah blah.. This coming from a man who has been obese most of his entire adult life. He said that he would rather weigh a zillion pounds then have the risk of death in surgery. I tried to explain to him that with my chronic knee pain, and back pain my quality of life is relativity low right now. It is hard not to have his support but at the same time I know he just doesn't want to loose me. I am so worried because if my weight loss journey is successful I will be the only thin (HOPEFULLY) person in my entire family. Maybe I will open a door to my other family members and they will follow i my foot steps? I am very happy to have the support of my mother and bestie, and my work friends. I

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Do not sell yourself short. This is your life and his life is being cut short by all of the years that he continues to be overweight. Heaven forbid that one day he drops over from a cardiac arrest or a stroke because of his weight and the problems that it is causing. You are taking control of your life and doing something that will help to extend your life so do not let them tell you different. If losing weight was so easy then why are there so many obese people in the world and in the US.

Those who say that they could lose weight if they really wanted to are lying to themselves. I have wanted to be thin so many times and have tried so many different diets that if that was the case I would have died from starvation but thin.

Tick to your guns and do this for you.

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I have chosen not to tell most of my extended family. My parents are excited for me as well as my siblings. However the rest of my family which is mainly my moms side are all overweight and never do anything about it. One of my cousins is over 500 lbs. I know they would judge me harshly for making this choice. I also know if one of them knows everyone will know. I have come to realize this is my life and I have to do whats best for me.

I'm sure once they see you succeed they will have a change of heart.. Hopefully :)

Goodluck with everything.

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Someone in society was the first to use the wheel to move something, the first to use fire to heat their food, the first to wrap a skin around themselves to stay warm in winter. I'm sure all the other people thought it was odd and not a good idea, but thank goodness someone forged ahead anyway!

WLS has the highest success rate for permanent weight loss. You are the one that must live in your body. Do what is best for you. If others aren't supportive, do containment of the issue.

My Mom was terrified before the operation and didn't look very happy right after when I was uncomfortable, only able to sip tiny drips of Water and running to the bathroom every few hours. But now, she is so glad I had the operation and I'm at a healthy weight for the first time in 20 years.

Some lines I used:

- My doctor and I have decided that this is the best choice for me. I have to do what I think is best for my health.

- I am frightened of the risks of surgery, but I am more frightened of the risks of staying morbidly obese.

- If I could have lost the weight on my own I would have. I have been trying for years.

Best wishes on your journey~

Lynda

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Well your not alone. My father and mother dont like the fact that I am going to Mexico fearing they are going to take out some extra organs. My wife doesnt want me to do it because I will get lose weight and my muscles with show again so I will be cheating on her. My wifes parents and numerous friends say I dont need surgery just moderate my intake.

Well I will give you my reasons to have it. I want to look like me again, my job depends on my mobilization and ability to enter confined spaces and don a fire suit apparatus, so I can get cleared of sleep apnea,fit in my corvette, so I dont look like a fat guy on a moped when I ride my motorcycle, so I can fit in rides at amusement parks, so my son can look up to me and I can be his role model in continuing an active lifestyle for him. I want to quit hemming my pants because I have to wear a size 40 pants and the shortest size is 34. I could go on but you see That there is numerous reason of why to do this surgery than to not. Sure I can do this 2 week Protein shake thing like a breeze but sooner or later Imma relapse like always. With the sleeves aid I dont think that I will have much choice other than to conform.

Tell him you appreciate his concern but I am certain my life will be better with it than live miserably without it. Death is a mere numbers game

(null)

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Well your not alone. My father and mother dont like the fact that I am going to Mexico fearing they are going to take out some extra organs. My wife doesnt want me to do it because I will get lose weight and my muscles with show again so I will be cheating on her. My wifes parents and numerous friends say I dont need surgery just moderate my intake.

Well I will give you my reasons to have it. I want to look like me again, my job depends on my mobilization and ability to enter confined spaces and don a fire suit apparatus, so I can get cleared of sleep apnea,fit in my corvette, so I dont look like a fat guy on a moped when I ride my motorcycle, so I can fit in rides at amusement parks, so my son can look up to me and I can be his role model in continuing an active lifestyle for him. I want to quit hemming my pants because I have to wear a size 40 pants and the shortest size is 34. I could go on but you see That there is numerous reason of why to do this surgery than to not. Sure I can do this 2 week Protein shake thing like a breeze but sooner or later Imma relapse like always. With the sleeves aid I dont think that I will have much choice other than to conform.

Tell him you appreciate his concern but I am certain my life will be better with it than live miserably without it. Death is a mere numbers game

(null)

You had me at "fit in my Corvette"!!! (swooooon)

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Yeah lol. I can fit in it actually but I sure would appreciate more room hahaha

(null)

SahWEEEEEEEET!!!! My lifelong dream car!

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Meredit - I'm sorry your dad's family is not supportive. It is good you have other supportive people in your life. I would just practice saying to the non-supporters "I'm sorry I you don't agree with me on my decision for surgery. We will just have to agree to disagree on this. I love you no matter what."

You recognize that with or without his support, you are going to proceed. Way to go! I admire you for your attitude. It bodes well (in my opinion) for your future success.

Good Luck.

Sharon

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
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    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
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      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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