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Neoteric Verve

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Lissa    2,631

Lissa
Posted

Thanks, Favoredone!! You STILL inspire me to make sure any pic I put up has a smile on my face!! :) As for shoe shopping, you GO girl!! Just remember that you will probably lose weight in your feet and they might not fit after a while! :) Of course, since I have a huge foot, I'll be happy to help you out with that! ;)

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Ms skinniness    3,003

Ms skinniness
Posted

Wow, it is really painful when we discover our friends just liked us because we were less threatening. I'm thinking that these people really would like to have a surgery to help them lose weight. I believe that some of our friends are so side swiped by our decisions and loss of weight, they don't know what to say. However, I do have a friend that made me really upset due to her telling me I'm in starvation and I can't keep doing this. What does she know? Where is she getting her information? She is always putting down the medical profession and now she's citing them! I have just decided that I don't need this anymore and will see her alot less often! She has just challenged me in so many ways. SHe's very competitive and I don't really want to be that way with my dear friends. I do forgive her for alot of her stupid remarks that she gives no thought too. Oh well, I'm sure I will find more of these people...... ;)

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LindaS    316

LindaS
Posted

As for your wife saying that you couldn't do any better, perhaps you can't. I'm not putting you down, just saying that maybe she really IS the perfect person for you! :smile1:

I agree with Lissa about the wife thing. Your spouse should be the BEST you can get, or at least YOU should feel that way, IMHO.

My husband has told me for years that I could do bettter than him, and I've always told him he is wrong because I can't imagine anyone better for me than him. For me, he is the perfect man, and I can't do any better. I have no interest in even trying.

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Amanda 3.0    140

Amanda 3.0
Posted

My thoughts on this is that when we are big, we are part of the "outcasts club". No one wants to be in the outcasts club by themselves. It makes us feel less like outcasts when we are around others like us.

When we are big, it is easier to be treated as inferior. And that means sometimes that someone gets to feel superior when they are around us.

When we lose weight, we leave the outcasts club and so relationships change. It's sad, but true.

Being fat is like living in a prison and when we lose the weight, we are released from prison. But our overweight friends are still in that prison. It is hard to keep the relationship going.

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Neoteric Verve    65

Neoteric Verve
Posted

A quote from a "friend"

"I am so sick of this sh*t......just don't f*cking talk to me! If you are not fixing the problem maybe you are causing one. Why have friends when they are only happy when you are not....."

Like I was saying, a lot of people never had a problem with me when I was stuck at 440lb. The hypocrisy is at an all-time high! It still leaves a sore spot because someone I knew for nearly ten years never displayed this behavior until recently.

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Catracks    865

Catracks
Posted

A quote from a "friend"

"I am so sick of this sh*t......just don't f*cking talk to me! If you are not fixing the problem maybe you are causing one. Why have friends when they are only happy when you are not....."

OMG! When the dynamics change it seems to bring out the worst in people. I've been lucky so far. The only weirdness I get is at work and a lot of them have severe issues anyway. I came in to drop something off and one woman who always sneered at me before, would not even look at me. In fact, she almost jarred her neck avoiding me.

Aren't people weird?

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Dooter    1,457

Dooter
Posted

A quote from a "friend"

"I am so sick of this sh*t......just don't f*cking talk to me! If you are not fixing the problem maybe you are causing one. Why have friends when they are only happy when you are not....."

Like I was saying, a lot of people never had a problem with me when I was stuck at 440lb. The hypocrisy is at an all-time high! It still leaves a sore spot because someone I knew for nearly ten years never displayed this behavior until recently.

Daaaaaang, that's harsh dude. I'm sorry that's happening to you. It's sad to see what people are really made of sometimes. From the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks. Just pour out love to him for his hatefulness and heap the burning coals on his head.

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Forensikchic    528

Forensikchic
Posted

A quote from a "friend"

"I am so sick of this sh*t......just don't f*cking talk to me! If you are not fixing the problem maybe you are causing one. Why have friends when they are only happy when you are not....."

Like I was saying, a lot of people never had a problem with me when I was stuck at 440lb. The hypocrisy is at an all-time high! It still leaves a sore spot because someone I knew for nearly ten years never displayed this behavior until recently.

I am just curious what context this was in. I am not following what the person is talking about. What problem are you supposed to be fixing or causing? Why is he unhappy, if it is a HE. Just curious. Tam

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Dooter    1,457

Dooter
Posted

I am just curious what context this was in. I am not following what the person is talking about. What problem are you supposed to be fixing or causing? Why is he unhappy, if it is a HE. Just curious. Tam

OH ya, good point...IS it a he?

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Neoteric Verve    65

Neoteric Verve
Posted

No. This is a woman. And the problem is that the focus is not 100% on her.

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Dooter    1,457

Dooter
Posted

No. This is a woman. And the problem is that the focus is not 100% on her.

(Ok ladies don't throw rotten e-tomatoes at me but...) We women DO tend to be that way. Nothing gives a woman more pleasure than to see her friend gain a few pounds. (I just read that yesterday on someone else's thread.) It's too true. We are catty and jealous and spiteful. Especially when it comes to how we look compared to others. We can have a lot of trouble rejoicing in a friend's good times and victories. Most guys are like "Hey you look great! You've lost weight! Isn't my big belly awesome??" Us? Not so much. It really is HER problem. Turn it back on her. Ask her how she'd like to be treated and lavished with good wishes and compliments if she lost just 10 pounds. I guarantee she'd want a parade. I hope she comes around. YOU...are doing great!!

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Neoteric Verve    65

Neoteric Verve
Posted

I don't think she's going to come around. We decided to end the tumultuous friendship this morning. She fluctuates between 130-145lb. She is obsessed with being the weight she was at 20 years old. I have seen her at 175lb and she looks AMAZING. The smoothness of her skin, the way she smiles.. I could go on but suffice to say I have no problem with her size nor did I have a problem with her wanting to be a certain weight. All I say to her is to do it because you want to NOT because it's what you think people will like you to be. The only time I get on her is HOW she wants to lose weight. Starvation has often a paradoxical outcome. She already has some health issues and not eating isn't helping them.

Her last reply was this:

"I will work extra hard on my day off getting over our friendship maybe you should do the same"

I've decided to just force myself to not contact her until it becomes habit. Then I won't want anything to do with her.

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Neoteric Verve    65

Neoteric Verve
Posted

And let me just say this: In no way do I think all women are this way. Dooter's point may be valid but I'm only focusing on this person and no one else.

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Dooter    1,457

Dooter
Posted

And let me just say this: In no way do I think all women are this way. Dooter's point may be valid but I'm only focusing on this person and no one else.

Well, I'm just saying we all have these tendencies. Not all of us and not all the time. I'm glad you've not been embittered to the whole gender! ;) God Bless you in your time with this.

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Aussiegirl    580

Aussiegirl
Posted

This is an apt topic for me at the moment.

I have been surprised by the people who are now in my corner, my cheerleaders. Alot of these people were not my closest friends before t he surgery.

The people that I called my closest friends I now struggle with, not necessarily because I am loosing the weight, but more because I respect myself more, and expect more from the people I am close with. Before I did not expect or receive the same respect that I extended to them. So now I think I deserve it. It is making me evaluate my closer friends more than before.....definitely need to widen my friends pool.

It definitely takes an emotional toll on you, but I am starting a new life and I deserve the best.

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Go To Topic Listing Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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