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Self Esteem And The Gym



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So having been the fat girl my whole life I've always been terrified of going to the gym where everyone will stare. I joined planet fitness 3 months ago and still haven't gone even though I have friends who are willing to go with me. One of them is 5'10 and weighs like 125lbs soaking wet so I doubt I'd ever go with her. The others are chunky girls so it wouldn't be so awkward, but I can't get myself to go. I freak out and cancel. Any tips on how to get over this?

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Join the YMCA. Most of them are updating their facilities, and it's just a different crowd. It's not a meat market, and nobody cares how you look. I love it there.

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Is there another gym in your area that caters to an older crowd?

I have found that gyms with older people are much nicer because they are nicer and more accepting of people.

Another option, that I can't ever seem to do, is to not care what people think and focus on yourself and not what other people think of you. After a few times I am sure you will be more comfortable.

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I had the same problem for a long time, and I had friends willing to go with me as well. I go to the gym at my school and I found a pretty good time to do it. I go before I have class, around 10am-12pm, and that's when all the older people go. Get to around 3-4pm and that's when all the athletes are around.

I'm not sure how big your town is or how many gyms it has, but it might be good to scope out some before you join one. Or, if you're still self-conscious, you could exercise at home until you feel more comfortable. It wouldn't cost much to get a few weights and bands.

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I doubt many people will actually say anything negative to you at PF. Especially if you go in and do your own thing. I lived in an apartment complex with some pretty buff people when I first started using the treadmill. The only time anyone said anything to me is one night when I went in to do my treadmill time and the guy told me my treadmill wasn't working. No negativity.

Basically, put on your workout clothes, hit the gym, use your iPod or mp3 player, and do your thing. Most people won't say anything, and probably won't even look at you. Most of them are more worried about themselves than what you are doing. You will get such fast results between the sleeve and the exercise that most of the gym rats will be asking you for advice before long anyway!

Good luck!! This is one where Nike is right: Just Do It! Waiting until you've lost all your weight before going to the gym is like waiting until you get your degree before going to class. Use the tools. :)

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I am struggling with feelings similar to yours as well. And honestly, it's in our head. When I first joined two days after Christmas I went three times a week until I got dehydrated. Let me share a few facts with you though;

A- A lot of people who go there are just like us

B- They really do encourage all people there- not just the skinny ones

C- Most people there are just like us. They want to get their workout over with and go home to their busy lives.

I need to start going back now that I have the dehydration under control, but mentally I'm freaking myself out about it. Maybe you and I will set a goal with each other to go twice this week?

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I too, can relate to this topic.

I am 19mths out now and still haven't got the courage to go swimming!

This time last year, I wanted to go to my son's boxing gym... they do a ladies hour which is the same routine as the men's training but with less circuits. I had this image of really fit and beautiful ladies going... you know, Lara Croft and co! I talked about it for many, many weeks; asked friends if they would come with me etc. Anyway, long story short is that my hubby went to the men's training and he saw the ladies waiting to go it. When he came home he described them to me.... they were just like me! Some smaller, some the same size. Not Lara Croft for sure- and I mean that in the nicest way! I suppose what I am trying to say is that anyone who uses the gym or fitness suite of any kind is just like you and me. Normal!

Ok, so it took me weeks to pluck up the courage and last March I went for my first session... a friend, who is a lot smaller than me, came with me. I got through the hour, modified some of the exercises to my level of fitness and felt great; not only because I had completed an amazing work out but the fact that I conquered my fear and got in there. On our way home, my skinny friend admitted that she was shi**ing herself before we went! We both had the same fear! And I kid you not, this lady is a UK8!!

See... we are all the same, regardless of size and weight. The only thing I can say is that I still go boxing and she doesn't! I will go on my own now too. Sometimes the 'thought' is worse than the action... all I have to do now is apply this to swimming, which I love! (it is the costume more than the action...lol.. bearing all in public scare me to death!)

Good luck in finding the courage to get in there... you can do it and I promise you, you will feel soooo proud of yourself!

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I'm a member of the YMCA and I love it....its more of a family atmosphere....not alot of skinny's prancing around and men staring at you....but there are kids....atleast at the one I goto....but I dont mind the kids, I'm a teacher

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I just joined an all girls gym called Girlfriends, I am hoping that helps, I feel the same way as you do about going to the gym... In my small town the YMCA is where most people go and I got treated very badly there when I went... Good luck~!~

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I would second (or third,) the motion for the Y if you have one in your area. When my wife and I started getting serious about this before her WLS some years ago, we joined the Y to start the insurance required diet/exercise program. The first time we drove into the parking lot we saw a morbidly obese woman walking in, and said to ourselves, "this is the place!" Most of them (at least in our region) have a special introductory program for those just starting out, providing some individual instruction using a separate workout room and machines so one isn't so intimidated by working out in the main room with all the mirrors (which I always called the "Narcissus room"). Overall, a very friendly environment.

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I refuse to hit up the Y here. It's so unclean. I've gotten impetigo from there twice. *cringe* Thanks for all the advice! My mom joined up and is supposedly gonna go with me. She's had bypass 9 years ago and wants to take off the 30ish lbs she put back on. We'll see how it goes!

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This is my first time I've heard of this impetigo....eewwww, sorry that happened...

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I'm also a member of Planet Fitness and I think it's a lot easier to go by myself and just focus on what I'm doing. I'd agree with going at a less busy time if you can, I know my PF gave me a chart of their busy times when I signed up. Most of the people there are either thinking about their workout or worrying the same way you are. You can do it!!

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When I first started back at the gym years ago, I just started out nice and easy. I parked myself on the treadmill in corner and kept going on that observing everyone else, and taking it all in (how they used the equipment). As my confidence grew, I began to branch out and try other things. Friday nights were typically slow at my PF, so that is when I started to try some of the weight stuff or other equipment that intimidated me. That's one of the things that I like about PF so much is people just leave you alone and let you do your thing. Don't quit :-). It will be an amazing transformation as you feel your inner confidence grow as you conquer for fear of the gym. You CAN do it. I do also agree about going by yourself, much easier to just worry about you; since you are there for you. Also if you have an iPod / mp3 player make your self a fun music mix that you can only listen to at the gym. In the beginning, set up a reward plan for yourself, if you go 3x a week you can get a manicure or go to the movies.

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