My Husband Is Really Worried :(

[Pookeyism 1,143]

4AM and a full day ahead and whatever sleep I get from here till 6 is what I get. I just can't seem to have a moment free from this being in my head - and my Hubby is really, truly scared. It breaks my heart that I am causing him to worry. Last evening after my nap (I nap now as soon as I get home because I can't sleep at night) I found him sitting beside me on the couch - he had pulled me over to him and was just holding me. I catch him staring at me and he looks so worried. This evening I woke to him asking me to come try some things he made - he spent hours on different types of broth combinations, Jello and Gelatin, sweet and savory. He wants to know if he should get a juicer, and what am I going to replace my wine and soda and coffee with, etc.

I feel like the one thing I did not prepare for was my big, strong man to be so scared. I wish I could find a way to approach this that would help him.

[mxmom 4]

i understand how you feel! when i got my surgery date, (DEC 28!!!) my husband was happy for me but i could tell he was worried. He wasn't quite jumping up and down like i was or wanted him too. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he knew i was excited and he is too, but he worries, cause it is such a major surgery. i think the best thing to do, is just let him know that you are confident with your surgeon, confident about the procedure and that you understand that he is worried, but he doesn't need to be. I do think its very sweet that he is in the kitchen experimenting with the combos of broth etc. you are a blessed woman! i will be praying his strength and no worrying for your hubby! take care!!!!

[NEVA907 48]

MY FIANCE` IS WORRIED TOO. I DO FEEL BAD THAT HE FEELS THAT WAY,BUT IF I DON'T GET SLEEVED IT IS ME WHO WILL BE UNHAPPY WITH MYSELF AND THIS CONSTANT STRUGGLE. I 'VE LET HIM WATCH THE PROCEDURE ON YOUTUBE AND READ UP ON IT AND THE DR. I'VE CHOOSEN.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

i understand how you feel! when i got my surgery date, (DEC 28!!!) my husband was happy for me but i could tell he was worried. He wasn't quite jumping up and down like i was or wanted him too. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he knew i was excited and he is too, but he worries, cause it is such a major surgery. i think the best thing to do, is just let him know that you are confident with your surgeon, confident about the procedure and that you understand that he is worried, but he doesn't need to be. I do think its very sweet that he is in the kitchen experimenting with the combos of broth etc. you are a blessed woman! i will be praying his strength and no worrying for your hubby! take care!!!!

MY FIANCE` IS WORRIED TOO. I DO FEEL BAD THAT HE FEELS THAT WAY,BUT IF I DON'T GET SLEEVED IT IS ME WHO WILL BE UNHAPPY WITH MYSELF AND THIS CONSTANT STRUGGLE. I 'VE LET HIM WATCH THE PROCEDURE ON YOUTUBE AND READ UP ON IT AND THE DR. I'VE CHOOSEN.

mxmom - thank you. Yes, to quote Nikki "I am not lucky, I am blessed." We are talking alot, and I am going over the positive things. I am engaging him in conversations about what we are going to do and where we are going to go afterwards - and I told him I wanted a new piece of lingere at each size mark - and he had to pick it out, lol.

NEVA907 - Very positive attitude! My Husband is not against the surgery, just very concerned. Even if he were against it, I do think I would have it. You are right.

[guzel 11]

Has your husband had a chance to speak to your surgeon? Maybe being able to ask questions and hearing the answers directly from the Dr could help ease some of his fears.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Guzel - no he has not. I wish he would. We are going to go to the monthly free consultaion thing...and I have encouraged him to just make an appointment, but so far no. I think the decision was just very fast in his opinion...he did not see the reading and research and last attempt at losing weight on my own (I was losing weight in preparation for the surgery) as a part of this decision. I am going to work on us discussing it this weekend.

Good question, by the way. What a wonderful forum we have! and thank you!

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Guzel - no he has not. I wish he would. We are going to go to the monthly free consultaion thing...and I have encouraged him to just make an appointment, but so far no. I think the decision was just very fast in his opinion...he did not see the reading and research and last attempt at losing weight on my own (I was losing weight in preparation for the surgery) as a part of this decision. I am going to work on us discussing it this weekend.

Good question, by the way. What a wonderful forum we have! and thank you!

[omamilam 11]

Wow, I know my hubby is concerned as well. I wish I could get him to go to the dr. with me. I haven't asked him, maybe I should. He may have questions that only the doctor could put him at ease about. Thanks guys for bringing up this topic. It really got me to thinking. I want my hubby to have a positive attitude and be comfortable with my decision. If talking to the dr. will do that for him, it may be a good idea to bring him along on an appointment. I've been so focused on me, that I didn't consider his feelings as much as I should have. He doesn't do the computer thing and has only seen a few pics I have shown him. Now that I think about it he is not educated on the subject of WLS. He only knows what I have told him.

[gfawcetti 13]

I was sleeved on 11/14 & totally went through the same thing! When I told him I was looking into the surgery he was not happy, of course he is the same size as he was in high school (he's 46)! Anyway, it worked out that it took 10 months to get approved because we had time to talk... When I got my surgery date he said that he was neutral about it, but would be better once I woke up.

He refused to meet the surgeon etc, and at the hospital he was tense, but true to his word once I was out of recovery he was amazing. Now I hear him talking to his friends about how proud of me he is & how great I look!

They are proud men & don't like to admit that they are scared something will happen to us... Now 4 weeks out & 25lbs gone WE have no regrets!

G