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Concerns



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I know that one of my major concerns as a single gal, is how I will be perceived by men after surgery. I have average self esteem but have never had too much attention from men (besides my close friends). I've heard many people talk about on this board about how they get extra attention after they start losing weight. I'm not sure how I will handle that. The idea of it kinda frightens me to be honest. Do any of you share this concern? Have any of you experienced this extra attention? If so, how did you handle it? I would hope I would just take it in stride, but I think something inside of me will be bitter because these people never noticed me before. I hope that when I do eventually meet somone, it will be someone who did not know me before surgery.

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Hmm -- I kinda feel the same way too. I wouldnt say I would be bitter, but perhaps a bit cynical. I surely wouldnt know what to do with the extra attention.

However, this surgery surely has boosted my self confidence. I was never short on confidence with anything related to my work or my studies or my personality. But I never realized that the self-image that I had on my mind about myself was purely as a 'brainy'. All my colleagues call me that and I didnt realize that I was in that cacoon and have been hesitating to see me in another dimension - purely physical. Even now, 6 weeks past surgery, I'm just learning to accept my body as part of that self-image.

This surgery was my only chance at a healthy life. But it feels good to know that it has so many un-anticipated good side-effects.

legnarevocrednu - I wish you all success in your journey!

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I've thought a lot about this too. In a perfect world, after surgery I would find a great guy who would be able to look at pictures of me before surgery and say "you look really pretty in this picture." I feel like it's a Catch-22: in order to date more and find the right guy, I need to loose weight; but, I want to find a guy who doesn't care how much I weigh...

I'm with you, I anticipate feeling very cynical and jaded in social settings after my surgery. Right now, people look right through me or ignore me. When/if they actually notice me and pay attention to me after surgery, I can totally see myself being angry that I had to go to such drastic measures to get some idiot at a bar to look at me. I just have to keep reminding myself that that's not the reason I'm doing this...

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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