The "What's Your Goal Weight?" Question is Really

[Adri 40]

Ok, here's why the "What's your goal weight?" question from friends, family, and co-workers is getting on my nerves...because IT'S A TOTAL SET-UP! It's always a question from other women. And I think they just want to make sure I don't get down to their weight! Because the inevitable reply is, "Oh, that sounds like too much! You don't want to lose that much!" And I'm just thinking why not? Why don't I want a healthy BMI? Why don't I want to get rid of belly fat and diabetes? Why don't I want to wear stylish clothes like you? Why will it be a problem if I end up skinnier than you? Huh???

This was bothering me all last week. Just about everyone is noticing and complementing my 60 lb weight loss...until they lower the boom with...THE QUESTION. So I decided on a plan, a great comeback to avoid giving the number. And sure enough, my first day back to work after the weekend...the same scenario...the question.

So here was my new answer: "I'll know I'm at goal when my waist goes in instead of out!" I said it with a laugh and poked my belly as I said it. (self-deprecating humor has always been my pathetic defense mechanism and apparently it still is) Everyone just laughed right along with me, and even though I was still a little angry inside, at least I didn't have to give them a number and start defending myself!

I was tired of having to defend my fatness (I have not weighed under 200 lbs since junior high), and now I just don't want to have to defend being slim. It is not fair!!

P.S. And because I know you folks can relate: the number I used to say for my 5' 4" frame is about 135-140...does that sound so unreasonable??? Geesh!!

[SKCUNNINGHAM 298]

I think that is a great answer. Although if you have a number you want, don't let anyone dissuade you from getting to it. It's none of their concern what your goal weight is. When people ask me the same nosy question I tell them I haven't decided, and I will know it when I get there. Which is in a large part true - I know what I think my goal weight will be (135 pounds on the doctor's scales) - but I my stop before then or go lower. Also, as I start exercising more - it may be a matter of a size rather than a weight (muscle weighs more than fat for the same amount of volume).

You are doing great! Don't let the world of nosy buttinskies get you down!

[RickM 1,753]

That's a great non-threatening answer. Another could be "when I can see my feet!" (Of course guys can use another long lost feature..,)

[coops 1,790]

Adri,

I love that response... and with your kind permision, I think I will use it myself as I have had the same response of 'Oh... that is toooo much' etc, bla bla bla! Thank you for a great post! =]

[Adri 40]

Thank you all for your input, I knew you'd understand!

[Forensikchic 528]

Thank you all for your input, I knew you'd understand!

a great friend of mine told me that when someone asks her a nosy none of their business question... she always asks "why do you ask?" and it makes them stammer around and she doesnt answer them. Most people say, oh I just wanted to know and she continues with.. but why? What do you plan to do with the information? It gets really funny the more flustered they become. Makes you think twice about asking people personal information. Also, if they start it with "do you mind if I ask you " blah blah blah... she will say, why yes, I do mind. And they say nothing further.. I have seen this work many times.

[longer-life 139]

(self-deprecating humor has always been my pathetic defense mechanism and apparently it still is)

I loved your response, but it is not making you happy, so I would pick another one. I have been using self-deprecating humor all my freaking life and I want to stop after surgery, because like you said "it is not fair!".

Why not smile and say " I don't know yet" or " I will know when I get there", or " when I get as thin as you" and stick your tongue out. LOL Just kidding. Whatever suits your personality.

I am 5'4" as well and I think your goal is within "the charts". You are braver than me though. I will shoot for 140, so I can fluctuate 5 pounds. I was even thinking 150. lol. I hope to have surgery next month. We will know when we get there.

[Adri 40]

Thanks forensikchic and longer-life, you've both given me more food-for-thought...no pun intended..hahaha.