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What is wrong with me??



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Things had been moving along nicely for me. I lost 50 pounds in 12 weeks and was feeling great. I can now eat any food without feeling bad and I think this is a problem. The past 3 or 4 days I have been eating things I should not. I of course still eat nothing like I did pre-surgery but I am afraid this is the beginning of the end because I am suddenly thinking about food again and wanting things I should not have. Before I was just looking at food as nutrition to stay alive and I liked that. The past few days I seem to be craving things again and wanting to eat at night. How do I get back on track? Need to catch it now while it is only 3 to 4 days out of control instead of letting this go on. I am scared!

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I am not as far out as you but I have already had the same feelings. Its that little voice in the back of your wad trying to make you do those things and believe you will fail at this to. But whatnot doesn't know is you are a stronger, and happier person since getting this surgery. You have come so far and now that voice wants to win. Do not let it. I try positive talk when that happens. "I know I shouldn't of done that but It is okay I am strong and will overcome." forgiveness is important in these situations. Just forgive, move on ad don't let those voices win. You CAN do this and WILL do this. Start tracking food again if you arent. You can do it!

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Thanks JillW8! I tracked out everything I am going to eat today and I am going to stick to it. One day at a time I guess. I think maybe I have just been testing the sleeve to see what I can eat and that is a very dangerous thing to do. Going back to basics! Gotta make this tool work for me! Still scary though :huh:.

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You are not alone. I gained 2# this week, and since lost it just in the last couple of days, but it is very frustrating when this happens. I start going into this mode of "well, I screwed up so what's having this or that" kind of thinking. I was at the bank the other day and they had a bowl of bit size chocolate candy bars and of course there were my favorites in there. I was standing there waiting for things to finish up and those candy bars just kept screaming at me. Yes, I took 2 of them and ate them. I felt really guilty afterwards, but got back on track. I don't keep any of that stuff in the house and do my best to avoid it any other time.

Try to remember your goal of getting back in the show ring. I am attending my first bigger show in a couple of weeks and although I'm not where I would like to be going back, but I'm down 58# and within 15# of where I was at showing last year, so I'm just going to go for it and hope to loose a few more before the show. Thank GOD for Spanx!!!

Hang in there, you can do it!!

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Thanks for the showing reminder! My suit does fit now so I need to remember how far I have come so far! I did show the horse driving last weekend and had a great show. I will be showing him driving again in 2 weeks but next year I am so getting back in the ring under saddle. I WILL have to have to buy a new smaller show suit by then!! I think I will pick out a new goal riding outfit and post a picture of it where I can see it when I want to be a child and test what I can eat LOL!

So excited to hear how your big show goes !

Thanks you guys! I knew if I posted here I would get help getting back on track!

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ASB girl is it maybe you TOM? I have trouble during that time. When I struggle during month with to much snacking or mindless eating I focus again on making sure I'm eating enough Protein. I try to plan my sweets because I need chocolate 2 or 3 times a week. since week 4. Also I try not to have any food in the house that is going to temp me. Good luck

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I know how you feel. I just blogged about getting back on track again. For me, I stopped writing everything down that I was taking in about a month or so ago. I've noticed that I've been eating more carbs but wasn't sure if I was over doing it. I really didn't think I was. Also, I was sort of keeping track of my Protein and Water in my head. Not a good idea! :huh: I was feeling as if I was out of control of my weight loss and it just felt chaotic! I haven't gained and am actually still losing but very slowly. So, I decided yesterday that today would be a new day and I set some new goals. One was to start recording my Protein, carbs, and calories for everything and also for my Water intake.

So, I did start recording everything this morning and had an "Aha" moment first thing. I took Tiffikins advice and even wrote down the calories and carbs from my Vitamins and supplements. Before Breakfast this is what I was planning on having:

2 chewable Calcium citrates

8 oz. regular coffee

1 Tbsp. sugar

2 tsp. coffee Mate Creamer

Here's the totals so far: 0 protein / 26 carbs / 128 calories

What?????

As I was blogging this in disbelief, my coffee sit about a foot away from me. Ewww, I wanted it so bad but just couldn't after seeing those numbers. That's almost my limit for carbs for one day AND no protein.

My suggestion is that when you're getting ready to put something into your mouth, write those numbers down. It will make you really think about whether not you really want to consume it. Just my 2 cents!

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i am in the same situation now...i hit my 100lb mark last week and since then i have totally been pushing the limits and have gained 2 lbs...again its NOTHING like before but definitely way more than the beginning. tomorrow is my 5 month mark. I keep saying Monday its back to basics...i am also PMSing so that is contributing to my cravings...but generally once i see a gain it refocuses me.

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I think it's a mental trap...it goes something like, "You've lost 50 lbs! You can have that dorito. It's just a single serving." I'm all for rewards but when you're an addict...it can't be food. I know we aren't all addicts, just like everyone who drinks isn't an alcoholic...but if we are a carb addict, we probably need to remove them or find complex carb substitutes.

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SeattleSue - you are so right! I am a carb addict. They were my comfort food - big time. It is best if I just don't indulge in white carbs (bread, Pasta, potatoes, rice, most crackers) and absolutely no junk carbs (chips of any kind). It is like asking an alcoholic to drink reasonably.

I am still recording every thing I eat. It took a long time before I was ready to take the training wheels off the bicycle when I was a little girl, it's going to take a long time before I feel in control enough to quit writing down everything that goes into my mouth.

Good luck to you ASBGirl - both with your sleeve and your horse endeavors!

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I do think PMS has contributed to it and so has the fact that I hit a 50 pound loss last week. I was kind of like well I lost 50 pounds I am awesome and I am done. Well I am not done. I still have about 60 to lose and this is not a starting and ending thing. I need to change how I eat forever. I want to take advantage of this honeymoon period and then once I am maintaining make some occasional little indulgence okay but not now.

Glad to see I am not alone in these feelings! Hugs to you all!

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ASBGirl, you are SO NOT ALONE!

SKCUNNINGHAM...white carbs and sweets are my demise. I'm blessed that I don't have a sweet tooth, but if I "allow" myself a piece of chocolate (or even if it's unsanctioned popping-it-in-the-mouth without thinking) It makes me spiral! Quickly turning into "some more"...

I'm 9+ weeks...and I totally want to make the most of the honeymoon too. I'm in a "stall" right now...at least, very little, fractional and far between losses. I'm really having to pay attention and I DO journal everything. Brutal honesty. lol On the flip side, my mind totally recognizes that at 800-1000 calories (depending on the day, time of month, activity level, etc), how can I NOT lose weight? SOoooooo, I'm trying to be reasonable and not over-analyze everything; keeping it simple. Keep doing the right thing and it will happen!

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"I'm really having to pay attention and I DO journal everything. Brutal honesty. lol On the flip side, my mind totally recognizes that at 800-1000 calories (depending on the day, time of month, activity level, etc), how can I NOT lose weight? SOoooooo, I'm trying to be reasonable and not over-analyze everything; keeping it simple. Keep doing the right thing and it will happen!"

SeattleSue I am thinking the same thing. I mean when I say I have been pushing my limits I mean I am eating like 1200 calories instead of my goal of 800 calories so seriously it is not like I have returned to pre-surgery eating so I should still lose. Never would I have dreamed that I would think 1200 calories were too many. Anyway I have the whole day today planned out and tracked at 810 calories and I am going to continue to try to do this most days!

Toby

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Just got back from a 1 day local open show and aside from the fact that I really like horseshows, I know that I WILL loose weight because of how much work we have to do in getting ready, showing and getting packed up to come home. I lost 2# today, now maybe 1# might be Water weight, but I don't care. I love stepping on the scale and seeing it drop.

Keep your eyes focused on that new suit for the show season next year! I have been to 3 local shows since my guy has been home from the trainers to get him some ring time. It's cheaper than when I get to the A shows, will be at the American Royal in 2 weeks.

I look at those tiny wastes in those tiny show clothes and just think how easy they must have it to be able to stay so thin year after year. I don't care to get quite that thin, but it would be nice to have a nicely defined waste so people don't notice the "fat girl" riding as much as the horse and rider as a package.

"I'm really having to pay attention and I DO journal everything. Brutal honesty. lol On the flip side, my mind totally recognizes that at 800-1000 calories (depending on the day, time of month, activity level, etc), how can I NOT lose weight? SOoooooo, I'm trying to be reasonable and not over-analyze everything; keeping it simple. Keep doing the right thing and it will happen!"

SeattleSue I am thinking the same thing. I mean when I say I have been pushing my limits I mean I am eating like 1200 calories instead of my goal of 800 calories so seriously it is not like I have returned to pre-surgery eating so I should still lose. Never would I have dreamed that I would think 1200 calories were too many. Anyway I have the whole day today planned out and tracked at 810 calories and I am going to continue to try to do this most days!

Toby

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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