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IS THIS SLEEVE BACKFIRING ON ANYONE ELSES RELATIONSHIPS? I ASKED HIM DOES HE NEED HELP BY GETTING THE SURGERY AS WELL, BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS EAT RIGHT, WALK A COUPLE OF MILES AND HE WOULD DROP THE 40 LBS BUT HE WONT DO ANYTHING. I FEEL LIKE I AM SAVING MONEY BECAUSE I DON'T EAT OUT LIKE I DID PRIOR TO SURGERY BUT HE IS MAKING UP FOR IT! A LITTLE FRUSTRATED EVEN THOUGH I USED TO BE THERE. ANY ADVICE?

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Sounds like he's having problems with your success. Maybe he'd go to a session of couples counseling with you?

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Passive aggression at it's finest. :) I am fortunate in that my husband also choose to get healthy with me, but I haven't always been this fortunate. About five years ago, I dropped 80 pounds and, I swear, my husband did everything in he power to eat as terrible as he could while I lost weight. I, of course, wanted him to join me in weight loss because I felt great, wanted a partner in my fat-fighting, and I missed a thinner, healthier Hubs. The more I pushed, suggested, etc. the more he ate.

I finally learned that this needed to be his decision and, other than support him once he was ready, there wasn't a darn thing I could do about it. It's frustrating, I know. I suggest that you continue on your healthful path and not mention it to him again, maybe even pick him up his favorite treat to indicate you aren't judging and then wait for him to come to you. When he's ready, welcome him but don't push. He has to want this for himself.

Best wishes to you!

Amanda

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No one likes to be told that "all they have to do is eat right and walk a bit" and they will lose weight. If that is all we had to do we wouldn't have needed surgery.

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I know the feeling, although my husband is super bad. He knows he needs to lose about 50 lbs. And he does get some exercise. He plays hockey once a week. And he will go on my bike rides with me sometimes too. If I ask him to walk with me, he will do that too.....just to have our alone time.

But he loves fast foods. I use to not cook alot, because we ate out most of the time....BEFORE I joined WW in March. I then started cooking more. Sure we ate out about twice a week, but not 5 or 6 times. It was a slow process. Find some simple healthy recipes that are along the lines of things he enjoys and start cooking more. Even if its just dinner he eats right and still eats out at lunch...its a start. Or you can suggest he takes leftovers for lunch a few days a week if he liked the dinner. My husband loves Mexican foods, so I tend to do more recipes like that. Not all...but most.

Try www.skinnytaste.com she has some great slow cooker recipes. The Carnitas are wonderful. My husband and son eat them like brisket taco's. And love to take for lunch the next day. My son is 7 and would take to school, thought it was special. I would take a flour tortilla (low carb) place a piece of butterkause cheese on it then the meat....they loved it. Of course now I just eat some of the meat, not tortilla for me. I would also cook a veggie or make a salad to go with it. Both my son and hubby likes salad, so thats a good thing.

If its Italian he likes, try some of the meatball recipes. You can eat yours on veggies and let him eat his on low carb Pasta. No garlic bread if you can get away from it. The point is, not to let him know its healthy.....just that you are making changes and want to try new foods.

If its steak he loves....great, do that and salad and a good veggie. Or cauliflower mashed taters....LOL with cheese. My husband loves the leftovers, everyone at work envys him and his steak. Now he does eat out at work still, but its not 5 days a week like he use too. He is slowly coming down in weight and now that he sees it...he likes it. But I don't make a big deal about it. Its a slow process.

Good Luck.

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IS THIS SLEEVE BACKFIRING ON ANYONE ELSES RELATIONSHIPS? I ASKED HIM DOES HE NEED HELP BY GETTING THE SURGERY AS WELL, BUT ALL HE HAS TO DO IS EAT RIGHT, WALK A COUPLE OF MILES AND HE WOULD DROP THE 40 LBS BUT HE WONT DO ANYTHING. I FEEL LIKE I AM SAVING MONEY BECAUSE I DON'T EAT OUT LIKE I DID PRIOR TO SURGERY BUT HE IS MAKING UP FOR IT! A LITTLE FRUSTRATED EVEN THOUGH I USED TO BE THERE. ANY ADVICE?

My husband and I are going through some of this ourselves. He is extremely jealous of my success only because he loved me large or small and he is afraid I will leave if I get smaller. (he has been left in the past-by others) reassure him if that is any problem and the take care of yourself....keep on trucking on loosing and doing this for you.

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My husband and I are going through some of this ourselves. He is extremely jealous of my success only because he loved me large or small and he is afraid I will leave if I get smaller. (he has been left in the past-by others) reassure him if that is any problem and the take care of yourself....keep on trucking on loosing and doing this for you.

Thanks so much, this is my husband's story exactly! But I am trying to convince him it is about our health most importantly! No other man can compare to the one I have even though now they are looking more. My motto is, you can look but you can touch!!!!

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OH YES! He is 400+ and gaining. The more I eat right and lose, the more he goes out his way to eat crap! I won't even get into our conversations, and I really do refrain. However it is coming to an ultimatum. I am not going to be a widow.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
      · 0 replies
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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