Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Well this is weird... and a little bit shocking!



Recommended Posts

Okay let's face it, when I was 330 Lbs I'm sure the only time a man (besides my AWESOME and FAITHFUL Husband) ever looked at me was to think... Wow that girl is really big!!! Of course I didn't get any comments but I could feel it. I sure was treated a certain way by men too. They were never polite and really seemed like they didn't even want to talk to me unless they absolutely had too.

However, I've notice in the past few weeks I've been getting the "look" ALL THE TIME!! Men trying to get my attention anywhere and everywhere. Spiking up stupid and meaningless conversations and going for the "kill". However, as I point to my ring finger and tell them I am oh so married they want to know why I went and did such a silly thing as that (get married). Yes I've gotten SEVERAL comments like that. Funny huh?

Not only that, they literally go WAY out of their way to hold doors open for me and let me go first, etc...

I'm not so sure I like the attention to be honest. I mean, it's nice to know that underneath all that fat I can still be found attractive at 37 years old by men of ALL AGES I'm not kidding you. I even catch young teenage boys looking at me!! OMG!! LMAO!!! Now THAT is entertainment. :lol:

I didn't even know if I should post this here, it's very strange and I don't see this being discussed much at all, but I guess it goes with the territory. Anyway, I wonder if I got so large because I felt comfortable in my big cocoon.

Anyone else feel this way too? I feel... "naked" now. :mellow:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder the same thing now about my fat cocoon. I am still a ways away from having doors held open and men checking me out. But I have always wondered when I started to really put on the pounds is when I wanted to get away from people.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I get a lot of attention from men now too. I was 274 when I first got banded, weigh 192ish now. I have stopped making eye contact with men at all, it makes me so uncomfortable. I almost feel like they are making fun of me. Its weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I totally know what you mean. This guy stared me down today for 15 minutes while I was on the elliptical- I ended up sticking my tongue out at him and rolled my eyes (how mature, right? lol) so he would stop looking at me. So weird. I actually almost fell, #epicfail.com lol. It's weird cause you think, they wouldn't have taken a 2nd look when I was at my highest weight. I guess it's just one of those things.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really a strange thing... Candace that is hilarious!! I must try this sometime... :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Anyway, I wonder if I got so large because I felt comfortable in my big cocoon.

Anyone else feel this way too? I feel... "naked" now. :mellow:

Hey Diva...

I can understand why men (and women) take a double look... you're beautiful weight or no weight!

Your last comment struck a chord with me... I am thinking very similar, I sometimes wonder if my head and body are at war with each other... before, (and now) I was realy bubbly... got a lot of attention 'cos of my humour... I never even thought it would be any other form of attention.

As I get smaller, yes there is a difference, and sometimes I don't like it either!!

Weird how the mind works... it is such a powerful tool...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I def get more attention from guys now... Doors being opened, approached at the gym, I think I mentioned a while ago that I ran into my ex-husband that I hadn't seen in 25 years and he and a friend totally checked me out. Guys stop me and start small talk, not always a "hit" but just friendly too... I like it, but a small pissed off voice in the back of my head says "Hey! I was always worth talking too!" I have had guys tell me I am beautiful... remember I am 58! I thought these days were over... guess not! I plan on enjoying it while I can (without pissing off my hubby of course!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also get stared at all the time, but no one ever tries to talk to me, thankfully. I'm not very approachable outside of work situations (where I have to be), from what I've been told.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great topic starter, Diva!

I was always a very well proportioned heavy person and have been blessed with an hourglass shape so even at only halfway to goal the looks and conversations are starting to come. I actually believe I gained the weight back the last time I lost a bunch (like most of us, I lost and gained multiple times) because I was getting "noticed" and wasn't yet okay with it. I think I definitely ate myself into a happy little cocoon and when I lost the weight I just felt akward and weird when men noticed me.

This time around I remembered that issue and employed a therapist to get okay with being noticed before it freaked me out again. I still find it odd that I was so adverse to being noticed by men- I've had no sexual trauma, abuse, etc. in my life. Here's my issue: my sister was always considered the "pretty one" (she's 5'11" and 130 lbs.) while I was the "smart one". My therapist believes I somehow got it into my head that thin women are not smart. Therefore, losing all the weight threatened how I most identified myself. I think she's right. Anyway, I shared all that because I think it's fascinating how such small things lead us to hang on to the comfort of our former size.

And, don't even get me started on how losing weight has changed how I'm viewed/treated in the workplace. :)

Amanda

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Great topic starter, Diva!

I was always a very well proportioned heavy person and have been blessed with an hourglass shape so even at only halfway to goal the looks and conversations are starting to come. I actually believe I gained the weight back the last time I lost a bunch (like most of us, I lost and gained multiple times) because I was getting "noticed" and wasn't yet okay with it. I think I definitely ate myself into a happy little cocoon and when I lost the weight I just felt akward and weird when men noticed me.

This time around I remembered that issue and employed a therapist to get okay with being noticed before it freaked me out again. I still find it odd that I was so adverse to being noticed by men- I've had no sexual trauma, abuse, etc. in my life. Here's my issue: my sister was always considered the "pretty one" (she's 5'11" and 130 lbs.) while I was the "smart one". My therapist believes I somehow got it into my head that thin women are not smart. Therefore, losing all the weight threatened how I most identified myself. I think she's right. Anyway, I shared all that because I think it's fascinating how such small things lead us to hang on to the comfort of our former size.

And, don't even get me started on how losing weight has changed how I'm viewed/treated in the workplace. :)

Amanda

Excellent post!! You get it... :) I guess for real we are just going to have to learn to live with it now because we did was totally permanent and I know it would be incredibly difficult for me to gain my weight back (speaking only for myself of course). I cannot eat bad too much, it makes me physically ill. LOL!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The other day at the supermarket I realised this older man staring at me, then I bumped into him a few mor times while I was shopping. After that he was in front of me at the check out and didn't stop staring, at me, mostly at my boobs (I had a low cut top on) it was terrifying. I went home after that and changed tops straight away, I can usually handle attention from men (not that I get much) but this was disturbing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(It was the only check out open and by the time I realised I was behind him it was too late)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have T and A (go do a search on youtube dance 10 looks 3 from a chorus line laugh.gif) when fat so I get the looks and comments regardless especially from black guys unsure.gif I'm NOT looking forward to any more attention.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have T and A (go do a search on youtube dance 10 looks 3 from a chorus line laugh.gif) when fat so I get the looks and comments regardless especially from black guys unsure.gif I'm NOT looking forward to any more attention.

I have T and A too!! I had to warn my hubby that they may go bye bye.... I think I will miss T the most and he will miss A :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have T and A too!! I had to warn my hubby that they may go bye bye.... I think I will miss T the most and he will miss A :D

I don't want to lose my T either!!! My Bio Mom had RnY in the 90's she went from an F cup to an A cup. I don't want an A CUP!!!!! I loved my Full C Small D's when I was thinner...hoping I get to keep them about that size.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×