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Employer Help.

JourneyOfAFatKid

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Wheetsin    714

Wheetsin
Posted

He could have said it in a different way, but I don't see anything there that's harassment.

Technically it's true. ;)

Once upon a time I was a director, and our VP liked to tell our staff, "Do it, or your replacement will." I'm too direct of a person to be super super high on the tact charts, but when he would say that it was painful.

As for making people happy -- do you have an option to work from home? As long as you could do your work from a couch in a bathrobe, you could probably return to duties a bit sooner. Is your work such that you can "work ahead" prior to taking the time off so that your absence wouldn't impact business? Would it be possible to push your surgery out until you get PTO? Do you have any company holidays coming up that you could use to your advantage to take up some of the recovery time?

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Texasmom65    23

Texasmom65
Posted

Since you have been there less than a year, I would wait until your vacation time. Or is there someone over him you can talk to about this. How large is your company?

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JourneyOfAFatKid    6

JourneyOfAFatKid
Posted

Our company is fairly small. On a good day that no one calls in we may have around 45-50 employees and that is spread out between 4 warehouses and an office. I really like my job and the people that I work with, my boss is just less than tactful. I think that I might be able to "borrow" my PTO so that I can use it now. I get paid a week behind, so even if I got my PTO and quit the day I was supposed to be back they could always just keep my paycheck and get their money out of me. right? :blink:

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Texasmom65    23

Texasmom65
Posted

Maybe your boss was just trying to be funny. Good Luck. Hopefully everything will work out ok.

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Wheetsin    714

Wheetsin
Posted

Depends on whether you get your PTO in a lump sum, or of it's accrued over time. :)

How long until you find out whether or not your time has been approved? If they approve it, then no problem. If they don't, then see everyone's suggestions above for help with your Plan B.

Playing devil's advocate, as as someone who is more blunt than what the general public generally appreciates, maybe he was just "kidding"? I don't mean kidding as in you think it's funny, but kidding as in he thought he was being witty.

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JourneyOfAFatKid    6

JourneyOfAFatKid
Posted

Please trust me when I say, HE was DEFINITELY NOT kidding! Im finding myself litterally holding back a giggle at the thought of him "kidding." He's not the type. LOL :lol:

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LisaM    3

LisaM
Posted

I would definitely not record him without him knowing it. That's against the law - wiretapping.:blink:

Do you have an employee manual? Look at what it says in there as far as requested time off. He needs to get over it. It's not like you're asking for a month off.

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Wheetsin    714

Wheetsin
Posted

Ah, I like it when others' personalities can make me look graceful. :)

Have you contacted your surgeon to see if pushing out a month or so would be possible? I know some could accomodate it, and others are booked months in advance.

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anonynurse    13

anonynurse
Posted

If it is an "at will" employment state, then he is absolutely correct. He does not have to employ you and can let you go at any time, for any reason. I also agree it is a HORRIBLE time to be out of work.

I would suggest you go in and talk to him. Say you could tell the idea of you taking a week off seemed stressful for the office and get a calendar out. Sit down with him, work out a time when he feels it would be less stressful for you to take this time off and come to a mutual agreement. It may not be as soon as you want, but frankly, right now, being employed takes precedence. If you took time off without permission for a nonemergent elective medical procedure it may very well be seen as quitting. Which means NO unemployment benefits. Think very carefully. You would be far better off approaching this from a "how can we make this work for us both" angle than a "you are such a prick!" angle.

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JourneyOfAFatKid    6

JourneyOfAFatKid
Posted

welp. Just as I suspected kids. Yesterday I was "laid off, indefinitely" pretty convenient that it happens right after I ask about PTO for surgery... Anyone know of anyone hiring Administrative Assistants in the Topeka, Kansas area??? I could really use the connection right about now...:unsure:

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Escape_Pod    358

Escape_Pod
Posted

welp. Just as I suspected kids. Yesterday I was "laid off, indefinitely" pretty convenient that it happens right after I ask about PTO for surgery... Anyone know of anyone hiring Administrative Assistants in the Topeka, Kansas area??? I could really use the connection right about now...:unsure:

Um.... wow. Sounds like your employer was a class A jerk. I'm so sorry.

You could try contacting Kansas Legal Services to see what sort of advice they can offer. The down side is, if you have a legal leg to stand on and do end up suing your former employer it can make it more difficult for you to get hired in the future.

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JourneyOfAFatKid    6

JourneyOfAFatKid
Posted

Yeah, I'm really not interested in suing if I can avoid it. I was looking fo something different anyway. I'm just pissed I can't put "currently employed" on my applications. Sigh....

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jasleeve    440

jasleeve
Posted

oops! i didnt keep reading :(

im sorrry! :(

i googled FMLA and I dont qualify. i have been with my company 10 months and you have to be employed 12. Go figure. By the time I have my surgery I will have been here 11 months instead of the required 12... CRAP!

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jasleeve    440

jasleeve
Posted

is your insurance through your job? how willl surgery be covered if it is? :(

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JourneyOfAFatKid    6

JourneyOfAFatKid
Posted

No, thank GOD my insurance is through my husbands job.

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Go To Topic Listing Tell Your Weight Loss Surgery Story

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    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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