Should have known better!! :(

[Golden 10]

So I live with one of my coworkers - had reservations about it, but it was just the best option financially as we we're both mid-twenties and not "settled down."

I didn't tell her or anyone else that I was planning to get surgery, just said I was going on vacation to Mexico. Explained away my pre-op diet by saying I wanted to lose some pounds before going. Unfortunately, there's a lot of crossover between my job and my social life, and it got really hard having to avoid situations with food and alcohol, worrying that everyone wondered what was wrong. Also I did have to tell my roommate after getting back, and I felt guilty thinking that she'd have to lie if anyone asked her what was up with me.

It's a tiny office and yesterday our boss was out, so I decided to tell my supervisor. I say "supervisor" but she's only a few years older than me and we hang out socially, so it's really just a title. Anyway, I tried to bravely tell the story with a smile on my face, and was all ready to explain how I didn't mean to be secretive, just needed some time to get used to things before I started telling people. I never even got the chance - she blew through a few judgmental questions ("Did you go to a really reputable clinic or something?" Ummm, NO, I just had it done in a rusty van behind a 7-11! I mean what kind of question is that?!) and then insisted that the reason I was tired at the end of the day was not that I'm recovering from surgery but that I'm starving myself and not getting enough nutrients. When I tried to explain that I actually have seen a nutritionist and there are plenty of ways to make sure I stay healthy, she just ignored it. On top on it, my roommate starting piping in saying she'd "never seen me eat anything" since I got back. I've had Jell-o, Protein Shakes, Soups, yogurt, etc. all in front of her!!!!! It was so unsupportive and just ended up feeling like a humiliating ambush. I didn't even get a chance to finish before they just changed the subject and I pretty much just slunk away.

I already forgive them - they haven't done the research I have and I can't expect them to understand. It just made me feel awful, and now they will go and tell people what a "crazy" thing I did. I never should have said anything, it wasn't their business to begin with. It's just really hard to keep up a lie, and I thought I'd be saving myself trouble.

Might I add that I got this lecture while they sat there drinking soda and stuffing their faces with brownies! Like that's so "healthy and nutritious"!!!!

[treequeen 13]

I work with mixed age groups and I have told everyone and kept them up on my journey so far. Most ppl have been supportive but there are those who are judgemental and make comments. Lots of ppl watch what I eat. Some ask questions, some pay compliments on my loss so far, some don't say anything at all. I don't care what the negative ppl think about it. They haven't lived the life of a morbidly obese person, they haven't done the research...they are ignorant to my situation so what would I waste my time caring what they think for? Good luck and don't worry too much.. it might not get as bad as you are imagining.

[1-4-Many 2]

I work for a huge company and I personally know about 15 people who have had gastric bypass in the past 12 years. I was the fat person who heard all of the judgmental and snotty comments about these people behind their backs. There was one situation I will never forget. They had a pizza party and the pizza was the type that was cut into the little 2 x 3 inch pieces. The woman on the team who'd had wls about 2 years earlier ate 1 piece then took 2 pieces back to her desk. Well you would have thought she'd been caught in the bathroom with 2 men, instead of two little pieces of pizza. The same people who sat and stuffed their faces whispered about how she was just going to get fat again by "having to take pizza to her desk and hoard it". You are right. They didn't know what they were talking about. She was doing the safe, sane way to have a little celebration. But they were chewing her up behind her back. I heard so many of these kinds of conversations I knew that if I ever had wls, I would keep my audience very small.

I know there is a lot of discussion about whether or not you should do this privately. For some reason, even within this community there is the opinion that if you choose privacy, it equates to shame. For me, it was above all else, about privacy. But I completely agree that maintaining a lie is not easy. At least I think we should be glad that for us it's not easy.

I know you feel bad right now. But you are doing all of the right things. And you told them in your own time which is how it should be. Behind a 7-11 cracked me up. At least you are keeping your humor about this. In some respects, it may be that they felt excluded. They may be jealous that you were able to make such a big decision and follow through on your own. Don't expect a lot of pats on the back for your success in the next months. But they will get over it and you' are on your way.

[mina 27]

i'm so sorry you had to experience that. i understand how you feel. i had my surgery done in mexico 6 days ago and my family and good friends has no idea i left the country, let alone have major surgery. my 3 coworkers knew and 1 good friend. i can't even anticipate people's reactions. i'm waiting till i'm a few weeks out before i say anything. remember you did this to better yourself by getting healthy, don't let people's ignorance take away the pride you should feel for making such a brave decision. some people would rather sit around moaning about how miserable they are but we chose to act and do something about it. chin up!!

[S311kyra 1]

I know it's a hard thing. I'm surrounded by a lot of people that are quick to judge. I didn't keep my journey a secret and I wish that I had been more selective about who I told. It's just ignorance. Ignore what they have to say and stay strong. Remember, you can always get support here. We all understand!

[june13sleever 223]

i told everyone. only one of my co-workers was supportive, the others were, let's just say i don't think they really cared or they kept their feelings to themselves. I will, in our next meeting, ask that no one really say anything about it it anyway ever again and I am going to straight up tell my boss that my performance during the healing phase will not change so don't go blaming my weight loss surgery if i forget to do something. she will most certainly blame te surgery, but i am back to work on monday. only 6 days to get better. i think she would have had a heart attack if i took two weeks. she is nuts.