I am perplexed about a few of my close friends and my current weight loss. This is my item. First I had WLS approx. 2 months ago. The weight loss has been almost a text model. Over 50 lbs. in 60 days, that’s in the gym 5 times per weeks and following a strict diet diagram. I have gone from 52 inch waist to 42 waist and still losing. Just about all of illnesses are gone or greatly reduced.

Before surgery I use to hear I was overweight, too big, and how did I let myself get that way. Now that I am in a serious weight loss mode, I hear from the same people I am losing weight too fast, my stomach is still big and I will have flabby skin. Are these people my friends, I am confused. Is this a common problem rapid weight loss?

Comments and opinions please.

Lash

I would ignore their opinions as the only opinion about you that matters is "Yours". Non-WLS people do not understand what we are going through and they feel they need to interject their opinions on your body. I would just say Thank you and then point out something about their body that needs to be fixed/worked on. Put them in the exact same situation.

Some people are ignorant and need to be told they have crossed the line.

You are progressing fine and in the end yes you may have flabby skin. But there is a chance it will snap back some over the next couple of years. But if it doesn't there is always plastics .

Thanks Lil

I can relate to this. Some (not all) people have made such dumb comments to me just before and since my surgery.

Like today I saw someone for the first time in nearly two months and the first time since my op and all she had to say to me was I looked "really, really pale; even paler than normal" and I needed to go on a sun bed. So rude. I'd like to see her after major surgery! I also had someone warn me today that did I know my stomach would stretch eventually and I'd be able to eat more? No! Really?! And here's me just going into this surgery blind without doing any research and throwing my doctor's advice into the garbage!

You've got to just blow them off as ignorance. At the end of the day, this is about doing something for yourself. If you're like me, it's probably the first time you've done that in a long time and I guess some people just find it difficult to comprehend. Brush your shoulders off and keep going. Good luck!

x

Everyone questioned me and still does... They say you lost 200 lbs on your own why didn't you just continue? Why did you have the surgery? You could've lost all the weight on your own... etc. etc. etc.

Well you know what they aren't me... I knew I could easily put 200 or more lbs back on and be in worse shape....

Fortunately my immediate family knew the struggles and had gone through and were very supportive....

Many people just think they know what's best for you, and everyone has an opinion. It's taken a long time but i've pretty much blocked them all out. The one person that I am having trouble with is my wife. I'm at 259 now down from the 575 and she's afraid that i'll get too skinny but I know I still have a way to go, so I am trying to fight that battle still as she doesn't want me to lose much more.

Lash44, some people are just not supportive about WLS. That is why I am chosing not to tell anyone except my husband. Not even my own mother knows!

Are your friends overweight? They might be a little jealous of you as well! Some people can not just say "Hey, you look great!" Or "Good Job!". They are insecure in their own skin and wish that they were you.

My advice is keep doing what you are doing and if they can't be supportive of you and your weight loss, then to hell with them. You should be doing it for you and noboby else.

Good luck and good job so far!

Kelly

Oh gosh...for some reason some people just think they know everything. I've actually had a LOT of positive feedback with people saying how good I look, etc. The negatives for me have come from people feeling the need to comment on my clothing, and how it's too baggy, not stylish enough for a skinny girl like me, etc. First of all...I know my clothes are a bit baggy, and I do go once a month and get new pants and a couple of shirts. EVERY MONTH. I'm not going anymore than that, because I don't want to waste my money. As for the style...who the heck do you think you are? Yes, it's an adjustment for me to learn how to dress my new body, but criticism isn't particularly helpful, and it's just RUDE!

Another major annoyance for me is the "food police". I am VERY good about eating mainly Protein and vegetables. It's extremely rare for me to even go over 25 carbs a day. If I'm at a church banquet and I choose to have a two inch square of a dessert...I don't need you to come over to me and go "Awwwww...that's not allowed. Tsk Tsk Tsk!" At 33 years of age, wife and mother of three...I got this. I don't need your advice on what I'm eating. At all. Ever.

The bottom line is that people will always feel the need to throw out their personal opinions. Smile, nod (or tell them to shut their piehole if it's called for) and move on with your life as scheduled.

Yes, one is 325 lbs. and the other is always ill.

Lash44, some people are just not supportive about WLS. That is why I am chosing not to tell anyone except my husband. Not even my own mother knows!

Are your friends overweight? They might be a little jealous of you as well! Some people can not just say "Hey, you look great!" Or "Good Job!". They are insecure in their own skin and wish that they were you.

My advice is keep doing what you are doing and if they can't be supportive of you and your weight loss, then to hell with them. You should be doing it for you and noboby else.

Good luck and good job so far!

Kelly

Yes, one is 325 lbs. and the other is always ill.

Baby girl.... they are called haters ;-( Unfortunately they are our friends and you think they would be happy for us, but they are not. They are jealous instead. You can either say something to them or let it roll off your back.

Deb

That's the reason I only told my closest friends and my closest family (mum, dad, 1 of my brothers, hubby children who all suport me 100%) From the rest I'm lucky that I get only postive comments, I guess people know that I'm always on a diet (have been sice I was 10) so they think it's just one of my succesful diets. Sometimes I feel guilty when people say oh you have so much willpower and strength to do it, b ut I gues in a way all of us who are going through this have

Deb,

Great advice,

I will mention it to them.

BTW - I am a dude

Thanks

Lash

Baby girl.... they are called haters ;-( Unfortunately they are our friends and you think they would be happy for us, but they are not. They are jealous instead. You can either say something to them or let it roll off your back.

Deb

Baby girl.... they are called haters ;-( Unfortunately they are our friends and you think they would be happy for us, but they are not. They are jealous instead. You can either say something to them or let it roll off your back.

I second the haters comment. I've been really surprised at how insensitive some of my 'friends' have been. The friend who drove me to the hospital keeps reminding me that I'm going to end up with 'big, saggy boobs' if I lose too much weight. When someone complemented me on my weightloss, she said, "As your friend, I have to be honest... It doesn't look like you've lost any weight yet." Thanks a lot! I say just ignore them and the comments. It is pure jealousy.

My father use to tell me to ignore the ignorant. Make sense today.

.I don't need you to come over to me and go "Awwwww...that's not allowed. Tsk Tsk Tsk!" At 33 years of age, wife and mother of three...I got this. I don't need your advice on what I'm eating. At all. Ever.

Well said

I too told very few people, my husband, kids and my sister. At a weak moment I told my best friend and she reacted exactly the way I did not want people to react... she was like "no, no,dont cut yourself open -- I can help you lose weight, we can do it together" blah,,,blah... She is thin. I am obese. I was seeking the help I needed by having the surgery. I am almost at my 3 month mark and my best friend has been there to knock me down every step of the way....nothing but negative words about me having surgery... we are slowly drifting apart, I dont need to be around the negativeness like that. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot control other peoples thoughts, words or actions. I only have control of myself and that is a full time job!

Thank goodness for this forum so we can all see we are not alone!

To Be Thin 2011,

We want our friends to understand us, to lift us up when we are down. Real friends don't put their fellow partners below them. It is a bit painful when the people you respect the most, don't want to see you move forward. My four basic elements of friendship are understanding, communication, satisfaction, and security. If any of the elements are missing then the friendship is in trouble. We are singing the same song, lets leave the nay sayers to their nasty selves. We want to be with be people who are positive. Going though WLS is traumatic within itself, and having to deal with people who are continuously putting others down is just so unnecessary and a complete waste of our time.

After some soul searching, I have decided to separate myself from the people who refuse to respect my decisions concerning my health and well being. I never felt I would have to this, a few of these folks I known for over twenty years. But this is something I should have done long before the sleeve. Now it's Friday and I am ready for the weekend.

Take care and be well,

Lash

I too told very few people, my husband, kids and my sister. At a weak moment I told my best friend and she reacted exactly the way I did not want people to react... she was like "no, no,dont cut yourself open -- I can help you lose weight, we can do it together" blah,,,blah... She is thin. I am obese. I was seeking the help I needed by having the surgery. I am almost at my 3 month mark and my best friend has been there to knock me down every step of the way....nothing but negative words about me having surgery... we are slowly drifting apart, I dont need to be around the negativeness like that. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot control other peoples thoughts, words or actions. I only have control of myself and that is a full time job!

Thank goodness for this forum so we can all see we are not alone!