WHAT DO YOU SAY

[LUCYCAT 6]

Hi There- I have not had VSG surgery yet but I have been seriously considering it. I am starting to jump through the hoops to get my surgery set up. My family and friends are trying to be supportive but I am getting these negative comments every now and then. I am not sure how to handle them. I am typically very good at making my own choices and having a devil may care attitude about them. This decisions however, has been different. The tiny shots of negitivity have me doubting myself.

EXAMPLE; After attending the seminar with my boyfriend we were having dinner. I asked him what he thought. He said he thought the surgery was very risky and that it was really just a matter of will power.

I am not sure what to say to people when they are supportive- but in a kinda negative way.

[MINI-Me 196]

It's great that you have some support. I find that most people who have the "negative slant" are just very concerned about you.

Question - is your boyfriend overweight? If not, he simply doesn't understand and he will probably never understand. It's not his fault and it's not your fault. Sometimes we can never understand a person's perspective unless we've been there.

You could talk to him about why "willpower" isn't working for you. Explain that you have a disease and you want the best treatment you can get to be healthy.

You could also let him know how the comments affect you - not speaking up for yourself may cause them to say more damaging things because they do not understand the effect their comments have on you. Make sense?

Focus on the good things. For example, he went to the seminar WITH YOU - that is a very good thing! He is probably trying to reconcile all of this in his head too. After all, it will be his journey as well.

Keep your chin up!

[twoboysandagirl 109]

I know how difficult it can be to hear negative things. When I started to do all my pre-surgery requirments I started to tell friends and family. I heard negative things too. I just had to remember that this decision wasnt just for me it was for my husband and my kids too. I was doing it so that I could live a long and happy life. I knew it was the surgery for me and that this was the chance for something to actually work. I reminded myself that my husband and I made this decision. It was made! That's it. No matter what opinion others had, ours is all that matters.

If they bring up things that worry you write them down and talk to your surgeon about them. My surgeon always answered my question and was so confident that this was right for me that I believe it too.

Good Luck to you!