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How do you get past the fears??!!!



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I have been researching the sleeve/weight loss surgery for a year and a half. Now that I have taken the steps to get the ball rolling.......I can't get the "fears" out of my head! The one thing I havent found are statistics.......not that they would make up my mind for me but I think it would make me feel better to know what they are. I havent read hardly any "bad experiences" which is a great thing. I know in my heart this is what I will need to do to get the weight off and get healthy.....and I hope to have surgery in May (gotta do a 3 month thing for insurance) and there are days May can't come fast enough and then there are the days I think ...is it worth the risk of dying? all along telling my self....I run the risk of dying every day being at the weight I am now with all my health conditions......some one please help me get past the "crazy stage" I can only pray the months fly by so I can get sleeved and get on with a more healthier, skinner life. ha

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hiya dizzy,welcome to 'whats it all about'world ! let me tell you-i knowEXACTLY where you are coming from and i get my surgery in 4 days.I have dithered about for ages too and like you,know its the only way too go.I have relayed my fears to my surgeon who assured me that there are risks and possible complications with all surgeries and in his own 10 yr bariatric experience has had no mortalities and one (fixable) leak -male.I have to ring him this morning to confirm which op i am having -i had originally decided on a band.I still feel dithery about it and am still wondering if im doing the right thing..i.m praying to my dad not to take me up to him just yet and too look after me-in fact im praying to everyone!! I have learnt heaps from this site tho and i know they all probably felt the same as we do....my friend is having a complete hysterectomy today and i know she is absolutely terrified but knows it had to happen-i am trying to make myself feel the same...good luck dizzy youll come to right decision,am sure-

.

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When I first started looking into WLS I too keep thinking of the risks, as a matter of fact I focused my searches on it. I read some scary stories, but then I read so MANY MORE amazing stories! I then had a really long look at the potential risks of staying heavy, and those risks far out weighed the short term surgery risks. Simple fact was I could stay heavy and die slowly from high blood pressure, cholesterol and diabetes or I could have surgery. I have had 4 sections, 3 leg operations and my gallbladder out prior, so I figured my chances of surviving this surgery with a good surgeon had to be better than if I stayed over weight.

It is very normal to worry about complications and risks. At some point your path will become clear to you.

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Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. I believe I have made the decision....I of course second guess it just like a normal human being. I figure I'm an ol' pro at surgeries....having gone through 4 laporoscopies, appendectomy, knee surgery, hysterectomy, broken finger surgery, Tummy Tuck, rectocele, and a few other minor surgeries....sheesh.....looks terrible when I write them all out like that! LOL But having all of those surgeries and not having any problems at all with anistisia (sp) or recovery......should help me breath a little easier. I am 37.... 222 lbs and 5'3 . BMI of 40 on the nose! I have developed ( in the last year) diabetes, thyroid disorder, and an allergy to the sun(break out in blisters) I don't know if the sun allergy is "weight" related, but my dermo thinks it could have to do with my body chemistry changes which are brought on by the weight and my body trying to adapt....... and the good lord know what else they will find with all this preop stuff! It's scary....you are right...I could die a VERY slow unhealthy way......or I could have the surgery (take a chance) and go at a very old age with great grand children to remember me! Oh it feels so good to get this off my chest!! I love this forum!! what a wonderful world of knowledge!! Thank you agan!!

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Welcome!

All on the same boat, I see. I am getting my surgery in 21 days (actually 20 days and 21 hours... I am so NOT counting! :blink:) and I keep thinking: am I really doing it? Me? Really? Alternated to: "Yeah! Happy! Can't wait!".

What I do when I feel a bit down or unsure is to go back to to the section Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy Surgery (VSG) Success Stories, just a couple of sections below this. There are new stories everyday. It's such a great help to see what this surgery does to people.

Personally I also think about my own reasons: I want my back stop hurting me so much and I don't want to get severe consequences of my diabetes 1 that could make me blind, ruin my kidneys or my nervous system and destroy my legs. No way. This way I always go back thinking that it's the best that can happen to me...

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Good Luck everyone on your journey..

I dont post much but wanted to say this was the best choice for me it saved my life i was dying a slow death being 345lbs sleep apnea, valve leak to lungs(stress from being obese) sore joints and back,chronic pain and depression etc. i looked into weight loss suregry two years ago looking at the lap band and after talking to the doctor i felt it wasnt for me and a year later while on you tube i found the Sleeve. I didnt tell anyone what i was doing and made a appt to see a doctor that did this type of surgery and went to a seminar also, i was nervous also but i knew it was time for me to take my life back! I just couldnt loose all the weight i gained and didnt want to die gasping for air (sleep apnea) or be in pain anymore.

Nov 2 2010 i had the sleeve done, it wasnt as bad as i thought the incisions actually bothered me the most i didnt feel any different stomach wize (no pain ) but you have to be aware of taking sips of fluids after surgery cause you are full fast and dont want to get dehydrated. in two weeks youll feel almost normal and a month you will be eating mushy foods a few weeks later you can eat solids just in real small amounts, i wondered soon after having the sugery when youll know when you full well everyone is different and there is a learning curve for me i wanna say i burt a few times and stomach growls and of course i try and get another bite and over do it..lol Ive never been sick (vomiting) and i do eat to fast which im tring to slow down and now will read or get up and come back to food.

Sorry for the long winded story i just wanted to say i was nervous also but after reading all the success stories on here and youtube video's i know i made the right choice, YOU just have to know for yourself try not to let anyone else make that decsion for you its your journey and dont you want to be happy and live a better life?

take care and good luck!

Joe

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I honestly had fears of being an old lady and not being able to wipe my own hiney, or bathe myself and the emotional and financial toll that would put on my family. Diabetes scared the hejeebies out of me, and knowing that if I continued on the path I was on, at some point, I wouldn't be able to touch my feet to clean them properly, and then I could lose a foot due to bad circulation and not being able to take care of myself. I had this big fear of taking meds every day of my life to control or treat an obesity-related condition, and the side-effects of those drugs on my liver or kidneys. I feared my obesity would impede my chance to conceive, have a healthy pregnancy, and deliver a healthy baby. I feared dying early, or being too fat to enjoy grandchildren.

All of that seems much worse than any risk that surgery brought, and believe me, I am not a good surgical candidate. I'm a long term smoker, I have a clotting disorder (my blood is missing a Protein factor that keeps me from clotting normally, and I need DDAVP before, during and after surgery and that increases my risk for DVTs even with heparin or Lovenox), I was 270lbs which large amounts of abdominal fat (makes surgery difficult), so I weighed all the pros and cons, and I went for it knowing that in the long run, surgery would get me to a healthier weight, and I would dodge all my previous fears of staying obese into my "golden years".

You can check out my blog on here for some research articles, and statistics. Best wishes with your 3 month insurance requirement, and know you are doing some absolutely amazing for your future. I'm not saying there won't be struggles, but, the victories far outnumber the struggles ! ! !

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I'm with Tiffykins on this, the OTHER fears drove the fear of the procedure out of my mind. Thinking of having my legs amputated from the inevitable diabetes was real scary. As was possibly proceeding my wife in death after living a miserable existence of sitting in my recliner gradually declining in health because of my weight. I needed a kink in the arse to get me on the right track and to be forcibly separated from my love of food via the sleeve was the only way.

To be frank, you'll be shaking in your boots till the operating table and then wonder "What the hell did I just do" afterwards. But after the first 50 lbs or so it really starts to hit home - THIS IS WORKING. Getting up and moving around takes so little less energy, your blood sugar stabilizes and your BP starts to lower.

It WILL be worth it.

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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