Struggling a tad.....

[Sunshine 1]

Today was a bad day. It was the first time that I was questioning things. I could tell I was sad/depressed...whatever you want to call it. Perhaps some of it was 'acceptance'...

I had my surgery on the 19th. Now, I KNOW I'm a newbie. So, I'm asking stupid questions. But.....Right now, I can only eat a few bites (like 5-6) and then I feel full (I'm learning my body daily). But, is it always going to be like this? I mean...am I always going to have the stomachaches, the extremely small portions.....

I'm not sure what I'm asking. I know I will always eat considerably less than what I used to. But will there ever come a day where eating won't be an 'issue'? I won't have to feel bad after eating (pressure/swallowing issues, etc.)

[Tiffykins 673]

There really aren't stupid questions except the ones that want to know why eating a bag of doritos 2 days post-op is against the rules. . .

In all seriousness, what you are experiencing is going to change every week. With each passing, day, week and month things are going to change. You're going to have rough days, go ahead and mentally prepare for it. At 14 months out (in 2 days), I still have a rough day here and there.

It's really difficult to think ahead 3, 6, 12 months and see eating, drinking, life general different than how you see it right now.

But, believe me. You will not be doomed to 3-6 bites for the rest of your life. You will not have pain, gas or discomfort with every bite. If those issues do not resolve, you'll need to seek medical attention.

Something clicked for me at the 6 month post-op mark. I'm not sure what it was, but life in general was just easier. I was able to eat a bit more than I could at 2-3 months out. food started tasting better. I felt better, and overall life just started happening.

Currently, I pretty much forget that I had surgery. Eating the "smaller" portions is just a habit at this point. I know what I can and can not eat on any given day. I know how much I can eat at most restaurants, and even out socially at barbques and potlucks. For example, we had a barbque on Friday afternoon with my husband's squadron. I had a burger (no bun), 1.5 slices of american cheese, 3 dill pickle hamburger ovals, and a handful of Lay's barbque chips. Now with that being said, I took an hour to eat. I ate half the burger patty with 1 slice of cheese, and a few chips all of it with lots of mustard and mayo. The burgers were fatty, and pretty greasy so I knew that I'd need to eat slow to avoid making a trip to the port-a-john(I don't use those nasty things). It took me about 30 minutes to eat 1/2 patty, 1 slice of cheese, and some chips. I sat there with a napkin laid across my plate, socialized, took pictures of the group, walked around on the beach for about 20 minutes. Then, I decided I would eat a bit more. I finished the burger patty, and had a few more chips. Over the entire time, I would say that it was closer to 1.5 hours from start of my eating to me tossing my plate in the trash. I ate, did all that other stuff, then ate again.

My stomach hurts after eating only if I eat super fried foods like fried chicken strips, or chicken fried steak (which goes down so fabulously, but eww it makes me sick). I don't fry anything in my house, and haven't for years. My body gets pissed when I feed it craptastic food. I run best on Protein, but hey, I'm a fat girl at heart regardless of what my pant size reflects. I still love food, and always wills. The one thing VSG has done for me is give me that control. I can eat 5 - 8 cheesy poofs and be satisfied instead of the entire bag.

Right now, just focus on each meal, one meal at a time, each day, one day at a time. I promise, the future is bright, and life is fabulous post VSG. Just give your body some time right now to adjust.

[Sunshine 1]

I was sooooo hoping you would write me. This will sound crazy, but you calm me. It sounds as if you've been through it all, ....and you give fabulous advice. I want to thank you for always responding/replying to SO many posts. I seem to 'hunt' yours out since you have this sincere, and practical/logical way of looking at things.

You hit the nail on the head: It is hard for me to see what life will be in the future. I just want to feel good. I want to eat every now and then without having to make it a project of calories/fat/protein/bites/swallowing...etc, etc. You know...like you said....I just want to be able to enjoy life.

I do understand that I am a newbie, and that these are feelings I should be having in the 3 month period. But, it's MY reality. And MY reality is telling my heart and brain that I will constantly feel bad.

I think the way I feel physically and the issues I'm having are common. There really isn't anything that is going on that I haven't read about. I think my biggest issues right now are:

- not getting enough Protein in

- feeling 'blah' after eating

- feeling a tightening around my esophagus (not spasms) for about 30 minutes after I eat

I feel as though I'm the only one that is being stupid about not liking Protein shakes. I have tried so many of them (and Isopure) and I dislike them all. Am I the only one???

Your last paragraph is basically lifting my heart right now. Thank You so much.

[Tiffykins 673]

I was sooooo hoping you would write me. This will sound crazy, but you calm me. It sounds as if you've been through it all, ....and you give fabulous advice. I want to thank you for always responding/replying to SO many posts. I seem to 'hunt' yours out since you have this sincere, and practical/logical way of looking at things.

You hit the nail on the head: It is hard for me to see what life will be in the future. I just want to feel good. I want to eat every now and then without having to make it a project of calories/fat/protein/bites/swallowing...etc, etc. You know...like you said....I just want to be able to enjoy life.

I do understand that I am a newbie, and that these are feelings I should be having in the 3 month period. But, it's MY reality. And MY reality is telling my heart and brain that I will constantly feel bad.

I think the way I feel physically and the issues I'm having are common. There really isn't anything that is going on that I haven't read about. I think my biggest issues right now are:

- not getting enough Protein in

- feeling 'blah' after eating

- feeling a tightening around my esophagus (not spasms) for about 30 minutes after I eat

I feel as though I'm the only one that is being stupid about not liking Protein shakes. I have tried so many of them (and Isopure) and I dislike them all. Am I the only one???

Your last paragraph is basically lifting my heart right now. Thank You so much.

I'm glad to be here. During my recovery, the members here were my saving grace, and I'm just happy to be here to help. I honestly never thought I would feel "normal". I never thought I would be able to enjoy eating out. The band really jaded me when it came to eating out. But, I just hung in there, listened to the vets and pushed through, and jumped every hurdle. I wasn't going to let a speed bump turn into a roadblock. I wanted to WIN, and I wanted to WIN big. The only thing I knew to do was be faithful and true to myself. Never doubt your own strength, and always lean on us when you want to give up or have a down day. That's what we're here for, and I hope you know that you can always, anytime message me privately if you need to do so. I haven't been checking in as frequently. Life really is kind of taking over, and I find more and more that my pc time is getting less and less. But, I'm not opposed to sharing my phone number for texting or phone calls. I'm pretty much attached to my phone. VST just sucks on my IPhone and I hate trying to reply to stuff on here via my phone.

You aren't the only one that hates protein. I tried and puked over 22 different brands, flavors, varieties, so you are not alone in that department. Protein supplements just do not work for everyone. Hell, I even went to soy protein trying to get something in protein wise. Yeah, that sucked and it was a no go for me. My surgeon finally told me " stop pushing those things, stay hydrated, once you get to mushies, you'll get your protein." Thank goodness for him because he was 100% correct.

Taste is a very subjective matter. I mean, I love ketchup, but can't eat tomatoes to save my life. Seriously, I'll eat Ruffles potato chips with ketchup if I'm craving it, but you'll never see me eat a raw, cooked, steamed, diced Tomato. Craziness, I tell you. Texture is also pretty subjective. Some people love that thick, milkshake consistency crap. I didn't like milkshakes or malts pre-op. Post-op those things were just torture. So, just because 89.99999% of sleeve patients love their Protein drinks, I promise there's those of us out that think they were invented by the devil himself and could never tolerate any of them. I am still finding protein samples that I order over 2 years ago in my kitchen drawers and cupboards because I had so many different varieties and flavors trying to find one that didn't make me puke, or taste like wet cardboard with sawdust sprinkled on top.

Cheer up my friend, you're well on your way to a fabulous life. I promise right now that little flicker down that tunnel is the light, it'll get closer every day, and then one day, BAM, you've arrived, and living life.

We all were or will be newbies at some point. We all share that common bond of "holy crap, what have I done?" Now, I think back and say "holy crap, I'm never hungry, wearing a size 4, have a rockin' little body (at least in clothes lol), and I actually do not obsess about food." That's the best feeling in the world ! ! !

[val628 1]

it will get better. it was easier for me this time because i was banded in 2008, so i was used to eating the smaller amounts. right now i eat 3-4 spoonfuls and im stuffed, so i try to stop before that. just hang in there when the weight starts coming off, it wont bother u as much. as far as the Protein Shakes i bought PB2 and it flavors the shakes nicely