My story and lots of questions

PlannerGirl · July 8, 2010

Hello. I've been reading the forums here for about a week and today I finally had the nerve to join in the conversation. This seems to be such a warm, suppportive and encouraging group and I am grateful to have found you.

If you don't mind, I'd like to share my story and ask some questions. I don't talk about this with my friends, I'm not sure why, but it's probably because I'm embarrassed.

I have been overweight (I still have a very hard time using the word obese) my entire life. A few times in my life I have lost major amounts of weight. Right after college I did medifast and lost. I looked and felt good but alas, it was temporary. I did not learn how to eat right, so as soon as real food was back, so were the pounds. When I turned thirty, I did nutrisystem and lost a lot again. This was until I showed up one day for my appointment and the doors were locked as the company had gone bankrupt. This was clearly a reason to go back to my old bad habits....wouldn't you say?:thumbup1:

About five years ago I got serious again. I decided to "do it right" this time. I was extremely diciplined about what I ate (about 1200 calories a day, lean Protein, complex carbs, veggies) and excercised like a maniac. I got to the point where I was excercising three hours a day sometimes. I lost weight.....lots of it. I went from about 350 pounds to about 190 in about a year and a half. I had more to lose but I was doing things I never dreamed of. I skydived, I did walking tours through Europe, I joined a biking club, and best of all, I bought jeans in the regular misses department at Nordstrom.

Then......I quit smoking. I was proud to quit cold turkey, but it wasn't good for my diet. Then I met the man who I ended up marrying three months ago. I was able to hold on in the 200 pound range for a while but then things went downhill. There's a reason the expression "fat and happy" exists. I slipped right back into my old habits and before I knew it I had a closet full of new clothes that didn't fit and I was buying "fat" clothes again.

It seems I'm able to take off the weight, I just can't maintain it. I'm sure many of you have the same story to tell. Last month I decided I HAVE to take action again. I spoke with a good friend of mine who's a surgeon and asked her to recommend a doctor for the sleeve.

Three weeks ago I went to the seminar and had the consultation with the surgeon. My insurance is Aetna and I am requried to do three months of nutrtional counceling, three months of supervised medical weight loss program, and one visit with a psychologist. The doctors office made it seem after I had completed these requirements that we'd be able to do surgery two weeks later. Reading this forum, it sound as if it may be more difficult. I am very interested in knowing what others experience has been, especially anyone with Aetna through American Airlines.

Two weeks ago I had my first appointment with the weight loss doctor. (She shares offices with the surgeon) I weighed in at 327. I have since become quite serious about what I eat, using myfooddiary.com to track and I'm getting back into my cardio excercise (weight training to come). This morning, my scale read 313.4. WOW, I forgot how easy it is to drop the pounds in the beginning. I am eating a very low calorie well balanced diet. Ordinarily I would think eating only 800 -1000 calories would be bad, but isn't that what it looks like post sleeve. I am taking a multi Vitamin and getting about 80 grams of Protein a day. When I go back to the doctor in two weeks, will she reprimand me for eating too little or congratulate me on the loss?

There have been some questions sprinkled within my story, but I have a few more. If you have Aetna, how difficult is it to get approved. I believe the doctor's staff helps a lot with this, but I want to prepare myself for battle if necessary. How long after surgery will it take to get back to my life? Are there a lot of things you can never eat again? (I don't drink soda, so I won't miss that) What is a realistic expectation for weight loss and in what time frame? The doctor says the average patient loses 60% of their excess weight. I of course want to exceed that. That's why I'm trying so hard to lose prior to the surgery, if I start at a lower weight, I'll end at a lower weight.

Ok...here's the big one. I was thinking of trying to do this without sharing the information with anyone but my husband and best friend. I am so angry and ashamed of myself for putting the weight back on this time. For the most part, the rest of my life is pretty together, I have a sweet loving husband, I own a good business and a lovely home, I have terrific friends.....all in all I consider myself fairly blessed. I just can't seem to get this part of my life in control. Do you think I can do this without telling anyone? They've seen me do it before so it's not unreasonable. When I lost before I heard a lot of "good for you, you did it naturally, no cheating with surgery" I know surgery is not cheating, it's a tool and I still have to do a lot of hard work. I just don't want to have to explain it to the uninformed.

I am sorry I have rambled on so much. Apparently have I more to say than I even realized. I would very much value your opinions. Again, I am grateful there is a community of people who truly understand all of this and I appreciate you allowing me to add my thoughts.

ps..........I want a ticker too. I can't figure out how to do it. Help please!

Edited July 9, 2010 by PlannerGirl

Tiffykins · July 8, 2010

Hi there and welcome. I share the story of being a pro-dieter, but I sucked at maintaining my loss. I used to say "I'd rather be fat and happy than skinny and hungry." Well, the sleeve has given me the skinny, happy and never hungry.

As for the Aetna stuff, I can't help you there without knowing the exact policy details and exclusions.

Many people do have surgery without telling people. I tell people that are genuine, for the jerks and nay sayers/surgery is cheating types, I don't even entertain them with my wonderful story. I'm proud I lost my weight, I'm happy I chose to have surgery. No one would judge me if I chose to have my breasts removed due to cancer, what's the big deal with me removing my stomach? I can't have the hungry part of brain amputated, so I'll do the next best thing, and work the tool to the best of my ability. You may lose a lot faster than you did in the past. I dropped 80ish pounds the first 4 months, and had dropped 115lbs by the 6.5 month point. People will speculate, and whisper, and judge. It's just how it works, don't be ashamed because other people can't accept or choose to remain ignorant about obesity.

Cheers to you for making a wonderful decision for yourself and your future health. Keep us posted on your progress, and we'll be here to cheer you on.

For you ticker:

At the top go to the link USER CP, click it.

On the side bar, hit EDIT SIGNATURE.

Open either another tab or browser window and go to tickerfactory.com

Set up your ticker with a PIN

Once you get to the last page, highlight and COPY the bBcode.

Come back here, PASTE the code into your signature box.

Hit PREVIEW SIGNATURE, if it appears to your liking,

HIT SAVE SIGNATURE.

Again, welcome, and look forward to getting to know you.

SWANY · July 8, 2010

Hello,

I am so happy that you are getting healthy on your own. Surgery will be a tool to help you keep it off if you stick with it. I am 2 weeks post op and so far I have lost 19 pounds. Something that I have never done before.

I wanted to address the question about the insurance company. I found in my Quest for approval that all insurance coverage are not created equal. Someone on here can have the same company as you but not have the same benefits as you. I think the best thing to do is call the insurance company and see if the surgery is covered by them and what would portion would be your responsibility. Also find out exactly what they require for approval. This will help with the guessing game. I hope all works out for you. And no matter what happens, just stay positive and make healthy choices for your life. Best wishes and be blessed.

lil red raider · July 9, 2010

I have Aetna. I was approved with no problems. Your BMI has to be a certain amount (which I met alone). I think it has to be 40 and above or 35 and above with 2 co morbidities (i.e. high bp, sleep apnea). I have both. You must do three months of supervised diet visits, one nutrional eval, and one psych eval. You also have to submit a 2 year weight history. My surgeon had everything in his office, Dr, dietician, and physical therapist. All I was out of pocket was my co pays. I hope this helps...

GOOD LUCK on your journey!!!!

ChiGirl · July 9, 2010

I am also new to forum but have been reading it for a while. This is my first post. My story is so similar to yours, PlannerGirl. I'm about midway through the surgery process. The hospital I'm working with in Chicago puts you through about a three-month program, I think so that by the time it gets to the insurance company all your pre-op stuff is done and they have fewer ways to deny you.

Good for you for making the decision. I resisted surgery as an option for a very long time, but my thinking has changed quite a bit, mostly due to my learning about the sleeve procedure. It's the only surgery I'll consider, and even though I have a huge amount of weight to lose, I'm confident I can do it.

I told everyone close to me, my family and close friends. Everyone is supportive. Of course a couple of people tried to get me to consider other options, what they consider non-drastic, but they've since turned around. I feel much better that I told them...it frees me up to just get their support right away rather than have to explain everything afterward and wait for them to process. I haven't told anyone at work and don't plan to unless they ask afterward. I'm trying my darnedest to start losing now so it doesn't seem so drastic right after surgery.

Calgarygirl · July 9, 2010

Hey there.... I hear you and I have a very similar story... 6 months smoke free lost a good portion of my weight, and somehow 30 pounds have reappeared over the past 6 months to year.... boooo lol The 2 people I have told have said OMG you re not that big you dont need it (great Im not that big lol), even though Im in the category of obese .... my family has not been the most supportive people, so Im not telling them til afterwards as I want to be strong going into this. I say you have have strong supportive people, use them, if not thats what this group is here for. My bf says I love you for the size you are, Im like omg, the size I am?? lol no thanks ... Im doing this for me, and Im more just worried about what matters the most to make me happy rather then the last 15 years yo yo dieiting... big hugs to you!!! I know the boat youre in :thumbup:

mommaof4yoopers · July 9, 2010

Plannergirl... I didn't broadcast my details, but I didn't keep it a secret. I told my neighbors because I need help with my kids and activities. I just answered questions and haven't met much in the way of negativity. I wish you well and know you'll figure out the right thing to say or not say.

PlannerGirl · July 9, 2010

Thanks to each of you for your quick response and encouragement. I am giving a lot of thought to your suggestions about telling people what I'm doing. I don't have to make that decision right away and I'll see how I feel when it gets closer.

Each of you has a story of inspiration, thanks so much for sharing.

Number50 · July 13, 2010

I haven't had surgery yet, but when I tell people I'm going to, I explain that a) I want to be more comfortable in my body, :thumbup: I don't need such a big stomach to live comfortably (I hope I'm not wrong), c) working in Walmart produce department with the deli on one side and the bakery on the other, I just need some help fighting temptation, and d) I'm tired of the processed food industry exploiting my natural hunger with sweet-salty-greasy tastes.

avilda · July 14, 2010

I have Aetna and am just over a month post op. I was required to do 3 months supervised medical weight loss... one meeting with a psych.. and my seminar. I had my gyn send my 2 year weight history to my surgeon and they submitted it on a Friday. I had my approval by the next Monday. I agree with the above post that not all plans are created equal, but it sounds like you are on the right track. If you have any questions pm me... I am in Dallas and we can meet for coffee and talk.

Av