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Saving the Best for Last



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Do you save the “best” (or favorite) food on your plate for last? That might be sabotaging your weight loss. Here’s why.



When I was growing up, my mom gave me confusing messages at meal times. We were not allowed to have dessert until we finished the meat and veggies on our plates. This rule taught me to save the best for last, and I applied it to everything – meals, homework, story books. I would play with my least-favorite doll all day in order to “earn” a nightly conversation with my favorite doll, Priscilla (who was forced to sit on my bed while I quizzed her math skills).

One day, my mother eyed the mashed potatoes on my dinner plate and said in a warning voice, “Aren’t you going to eat that?”

I said, “Yes, when I’m done with my peas. I’m saving the best for last.”

She snorted and said, “Be careful with that. You never know when someone’s going to come along and take your plate away from you before you get to the potatoes. So quit dawdling and clean that plate.”

Those were terrifying words to a kid like me, and they fostered my impulse to guard my plate, like a dog guarding a bone, while gobbling my food as quickly as possible. When I told a school friend about Mom’s warning, she said, “That’s nothing. You just have one brother. I have nine brothers and sisters. At my house, if you don’t move fast, you go hungry.”

My mom’s hurry-up-and-clean-that-plate eating message might not have been a very caring or sensitive one to give a child, but over time, I’ve been able to see a few grains of truth in it. For a time in my 20’s, I would order just chocolate mousse in a restaurant and enjoy it while my companions slurped their way through bowls of clam chowder. Even now, I feel that I’m spending my calories more wisely when I skip right to a 400-calorie dessert rather than eat 800 calories of meat and veg in order to earn the dessert that I’m determined to eat even if I’m already so full I could puke.

My other problem with Mom’s advice is that nowadays, it heightens my sense of deprivation. I’ve had more than enough of deprivation throughout several decades of unsuccessful dieting. Every diet guru had a list of Thou Shalt Not Eat foods. I often say that if you told me I could never eat ice cream again, I’d be on my way to Baskin Robbins faster than you can say “Jamocha Almond Fudge.” And what if I’m too full to eat the asparagus (a favorite veggy) after I eat my chicken and carrots? Even one bite of asparagus then might not stay down at all.

I’m not suggesting that you forsake humdrum Proteins and complex carbs so that you can gorge on fat and sugar at every meal. I certainly can’t recommend eating your trigger food, be it potato chips or ice cream, for every meal and snack each day. Like it or not, the #1 reason for eating is to fuel your body, no matter how the fuel tastes. I am suggesting that you forsake the “save the best for last” rule as you trudge through your daily life, not just at meals but in everything you do. If you save all your food, activity, or other treats for the weekend, or your vacation, or for 11:30 tonight after you put the last load of laundry in the dryer, five weekdays will feel like 15, and by the time you get to that day off, you may be too tired to enjoy or even remember what your reward was going to be. Your sense of deprivation by then could be a bottomless pit that will never, ever, get filled up with food.

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Yes Jean I completely agree. I have learned to not let the band deprive me of the things I love by only consuming Protein. I do treat myself now a couple times a week with ice cream my most favorite thing on the earth.

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I agree! I have learned that it is best to enjoy life and take a bite out of it when we can.

My hubby would say far too often for me "when the time comes". I was growing to hate that expression. I'm all for savoring the moment, for waiting just long enough till it's ripe and ready. Then jumping in and enjoying it!

I have found that the time never comes for those who are constantly waiting for it. They are so caught up in the waiting and wanting they lose sight of the here and now.

That bite of something ripe something fresh, is 100 times better then the bite your waiting and waiting for. Sometimes you wait so long the opportunity passes or the bite you do take is spoiled.

We don't have to gorge and consume all. Most times the bite is just whats needed and then there is room to share and enjoy a balanced meal and a balanced life.

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I agree, but its hard to not want to spoil yourself too often, I stay away from ice cream, becasue I like it too much. I do treat myself to a peace of chocolate, tho'

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I have had dessert for lunch twice this week. It tasted great and was far more enjoyable than forcing myself to eat a salad or something healthy first because that is what we are supposed to do.

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I'm having trouble with this very thing. I know I should eat my Protein first, but it is usually the thing I like best on my plate. If I save it, though, I'll probably eat too much. Hmm. Maybe someday soon a brownie for lunch? Never thought of that before.

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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