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Advice needed: when someone you love tells someone else abt your band

Hi all-

The predictable has happened: someone I didn't tell knows my plans for the band. I got a Facebook msg from him wishing me luck for my surgery. He is my oldest friend's boyfriend.

When I told my friend I asked him not to tell anyone. I'm not sure what to do. It has been a few days and I'm still bothered by it so I know I need to just talk to my friend about it. In the back of my head tho I wonder if I'm overreacting - possibly because this is the first time it's happened to me and I expect over time it is likely to happen more.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

Thanks!

Aviva

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  • Thats All Folks
    Thats All Folks

    I hate to say it, but it's expected. We're all guilty of it- we feel we can tell our significant other things that we're not supposed to share with anyone. We feel like telling our partner doesn't co

  • Aviva - I haven't experienced this situation with the band, although, I'm sure there are a few people who know, that I didn't tell. Regarding your friend, the issue isn't whether or not you're ove

  • PS: If my BF told her husband, I would expect that at the same time she would tell him that it's private.....and not to say anything. Which equates to, don't bring it up with me, until that time tha

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I chose to keep my surgery to myself in the beginning...just hubby and sister knew.....as I got closer and started to loose some weight I shared with one good friend who is very over weight and I thought Id share incase she was thinking about it for herself....mistake...she was so rude to me about it...and to this day 125 lbs gone...she has yet to say anything positive to me.........Now that I have lost the weight and ppl ask Im more then pleased to tell them with the help of the band and lots of work I did it....and I think a huge part why I didn't want ppl to know at first was....I didn't want to be ashamed if this didn't work...but im working hard and its working !!!!

It's too bad that people have to be that way and not be happy for you! Have other people had bad experiences when they told others about their plans?

Hi all-

The predictable has happened: someone I didn't tell knows my plans for the band. I got a Facebook msg from him wishing me luck for my surgery. He is my oldest friend's boyfriend.

When I told my friend I asked him not to tell anyone. I'm not sure what to do. It has been a few days and I'm still bothered by it so I know I need to just talk to my friend about it. In the back of my head tho I wonder if I'm overreacting - possibly because this is the first time it's happened to me and I expect over time it is likely to happen more.

Has anyone been in this situation? What did you do?

Thanks!

Aviva

Being a follower of Jesus, of course I would advise exactly what HE Would Tell Any of Us; the Answer is Forgive Them. Nothing Cleanses Us more than the act!

I have told everyone at work about my upcoming LB surgery. I am not ashamed about needing help with my weight loss. Some of my coworkers and family are going to start the preop liquid diet with me on the 11th. Im sure they'll be watching what I am eating, and that is ok. I will need all the support I can get.

  • Author

Just FYI that I spoke with my friend and we had a great convo. He was pretty surprised his boyfriend had brought it up, apologized, and will make sure he knows not to bring it up again unless i do first.

I have told everyone at work about my upcoming LB surgery. I am not ashamed about needing help with my weight loss. Some of my coworkers and family are going to start the preop liquid diet with me on the 11th. Im sure they'll be watching what I am eating' date=' and that is ok. I will need all the support I can get.[/quote']

I heard that too. Then the excuses are oh its a birthday, a holiday etc. Im left smelling the BBQ with a Protein shake in my hand. But this preop diet is not so healthy if u really think about it. We are doing this to shrink our livers not to drop the pounds. Just make sure they are safe and dr supervised. We can call our surgeons at anytime whats there excuse?

Sent from my SAMSUNG GALAXY S3 using LapBandTalk

I didn't keep mine a secret either. I was very open throughout my entire process. I have a great amount of supporters, like my own group of cheerleaders pushing me through. It honestly feels amazing when they encourage me. Also, being open about it has held me accountable, if I don't stay on track I'm not only failing myself but everyone who supports me. Plus, when you start losing weight you will be asked about it...I didn't want to lie to everyone. Also, when you eat around people they need to understand that you aren't being difficult or rude, there are just some things you can't eat and the way you it is different. I wouldn't stress about someone knowing its an amazing step in your life, it's life changing! You're gonna need support from your loved ones!

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