Family not all supportive

[skb123 308]

I am having a difficult time with one of my daughters who is very much against my up coming banding. I lost 200 pounds over 2 years on my own, however went through an some stressful time and gained 25 back in just 6 week! I want to complete my weight loss and this is just what I feel I need to do. My doctor feels with my healthy lifestyle and as much as I work out that this is the best way to go. I just need the support of my family, and wish they could understand why I want it so bad. Just wondering if others ran into this sort of problem with family.

[Quahog 134]

Family will question/disagree with your choice because of many reasons as you know: ignorance, worry, envy, etc.

You know what is best for you. I explained to my doubting thomas relatives my reasons for surgery and moved the conversation on to derail their opinions. Their opinions weren't going to change my mind.

Some relatives are so judgmental I avoided telling them.

Good luck to you, and your doubters hopefully will change their thinking or at least be quiet about their opinions.

[Cwalband 215]

I have dealt with this from a few of my family members, they insist that I could do it on my own, or that I'am taking the easy way out... in your case there is NOTHING easy about losing 200 pounds, I'm SO proud of you. I can see the concern of family members, cosidering it is a surgery. In the end you know that you are serious about making your self a better person for whatever reason you have and maybe with the results and showing them how amazing and serious you are she will come around. I respect my family's concerns but I've learned that this decision is mine and in the end I'm doing it to better myself! Like I said, I'm in awe of you, that you were able to work SO hard to lose 200 pounds already, im sure the band will assit you in taking you where you want to go. With all your positive habbits already in place and can see you going no where but UP. (Down in pounds though ) haha Best Wishes to you and can't wait to hear more from you!!!!

[Medikdave 20]

I spent a long time anguishing over the decision to band or not to band. I kept hearing my Dad in the back of my head saying "Why are you taking the easy way out?", etc. After a lot of thought and prayer, I finally decided that I am doing this for me, and no one else. If I were to do this to please others, then I'd be destined to fail. Eventually, after I had my initial consultation, I started telling my family members. The only person who was concerned was my Mom, because she's the type of person that doesn't like anything that isn't natural or homeopathic. But, luckily, all of my family members were supportive, because they all knew how unhappy I've been.

Even still, I was so self conscious. But, then I had one of those moments where I just said "F**k It!", and I spilled everything out on my Facebook page. The show of support from my firefighter buddies, friends, and family was amazing, and made me pretty emotional while reading it. I'm not usually one to post my life online like that, but I just needed some kind of affirmation.

All rambling aside...the most important thing I learned while making my decision, is WHY and for WHO I was making that decision. I'm doing this for ME. That sounds selfish, except that I'm doing this for reasons like: I want to see my 2 little boys graduate, I want to hold future grandchildren in my arms, I want to grow old with my wife. Maybe it would help to explain to your daughter that the reasons for you wanting to improve your health include her, and aren't just selfish and vane reasons.

[pink dahlia 2,513]

skb, I guess my question is WHY is your daughter so unsupportive ? Is she thinking she's going to loose you in surgery, or is she not knowledgeable about the surgery itself and thinks it a big major surgery ? ( It's not, honestly Ive had root canals that were more work and pain !) Just curious as to why shes not more supportive when shes seeing you struggle so hard on a daily basis with your weight. Does SHE have a weight problem ?? Probabaly not, so maybe she doesn't realize how hard it is to struggle ?? Does she have all the details or is she in the dark about what to expect ? maybe she should go with you to a seminar/Dr.s appt to see for herself ! I think you're making the right decision WITH your Dr.s support , so good for you ! Way to go to get on track to get healthy ! And 200 lbs that you lost ? YOU"RE AMAZING !!! I say go for it, you'll be SOOOO glad you did ! Good luck !!

[rose6850 29]

I'm in the same boat. I just had a consult and am deciding if I want to move forward with the band but I'm already encountering judgement for 'taking the easy way out' or 'putting myself in danger because I'm too lazy to do it on my own'. I'm trying hard not to let those comments sway my decision but it sure weighs on my mind!! I wish the band was known as an aid and not a magic billet because from the success stories I've read you still have to put in the effort but people seem to think I'm just looking for something quick and easy.

[Tomander 614]

I think support from family helps but support from other bandsters had played a major part to my success. Other bandsters know what I'm going through. I host 3 coffee groups a month for people that are banded or looking into the band. Remember you got the band for you! I started the coffee groups 5 years ago and they are a great way to meet people.

Forums and chatrooms are great but I prefer to meet people in person or chat with them on the phone. I also chat with 8 different people on the phone every month... both in Canada and the US. I have free long distance.

If there isn't a support group in your area please feel free to email and I'd I be happy to tell you how I started mine.

Tom, Toronto

Banded July 6 06

Wt. Loss: 160 lbs

tomander@bell.net

[skb123 308]

skb, I guess my question is WHY is your daughter so unsupportive ? Is she thinking she's going to loose you in surgery, or is she not knowledgeable about the surgery itself and thinks it a big major surgery ? ( It's not, honestly Ive had root canals that were more work and pain !) Just curious as to why shes not more supportive when shes seeing you struggle so hard on a daily basis with your weight. Does SHE have a weight problem ?? Probabaly not, so maybe she doesn't realize how hard it is to struggle ?? Does she have all the details or is she in the dark about what to expect ? maybe she should go with you to a seminar/Dr.s appt to see for herself ! I think you're making the right decision WITH your Dr.s support , so good for you ! Way to go to get on track to get healthy ! And 200 lbs that you lost ? YOU"RE AMAZING !!! I say go for it, you'll be SOOOO glad you did ! Good luck !!

My daughter has issues with my weight loss. She has weight battles of her own, and she has treated me badly ever since I started to lose weight. My reason for starting to live a healthy lifestyle was a near brush with death, You need only have a doctor tell you once that it's over to make some drastic changes. I just feel the band will help me reach my goal and help me to stay where I belong. Thank you for responding to my post.