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Am I just fooling myself, not sure I can do this



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I am researching the Lapband, and have posted a few times, and everyone has been so nice and encouraging.. I am in the process of researching doing the lapband, I have been to a seminar, went to my dr, who is requiring me to go to a dietician before she will refer me to the lapband surgeon.. I weight 245lbs and seem to be out of control latley.. I haven't been exercising like I normally do and seem to be eating everything I am not supposed to..I see the dietician for the first time this week, so maybe she can get me under control.. My worry is if I get the band, what makes me think I can stay under control and not slip and eat bad things.. I don't have will power now, what makes me think I will have willpower after the band.. I am worried about alot of things related to the band, but that is the main thing.. what if this fails too!

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i think we all have this fear. I know it was a fear of mine. I don't have the best advice except you will never know unless you try. Which isn't as easy as it sounds because this is a big investment not only in money. I think for me, i had to hit rock bottom, when i finally started looking into weightloss surgery. It was a choice between living or slowly dying, i chose to live, and commeted myself to do whatever it took. It has not been easy, but i'll be honest that it is not that hard once you get past the liquid diet/mushie phase.

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My surgeon and dietician were very upfront with me and stated that "you can beat the band" by not following a healthy eating plan or binging on empty carbs (processed foods, junk foods, etc.). I eat healthy but I eat too much (volume eater) so I was considered a good candidate for the band. Had a been a junk food eater, my surgeon advised the roux - n - y procedure. YOU know YOU the best so take your time, do a lot of research, and decided based on your research and personal insight.

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If we're being honest here, sometimes I still eat things that I'm sure I shouldn't. But the band restricts my intake enough that it does not impact me the way it used to. Also, I do STEADFASTLY live by the rule that I am going to eat my Protein first, veggies second, and then the "naughty" stuff.

If you live by that rule, then by the time you get to the fat and sugar you will probably only have room for one or two bites. I no longer obsess over food, I never feel deprived, and I am losing weight.

Also, some of the things I used to love I can no longer tolerate because of the band. Believe me, once you have tried to eat a bagel or some french fries and you have had to PB it all back up, you will no longer want to eat Bagels or french fries. Talk about aversion therapy!

You can do this!! And remember, we are here for you.

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Everyone has said that the band helps control volume, which it does. However, it does not control the volume of liquid calories or sweets that melt easily. These will slip right through the restriction. Are you a sweet eater? If so, if that is your addiction, chances are you will have a harder time succeeding with the band because it will come down to willpower (or, as Jack says, won't power) and if you don't have the willpower to avoid those types of foods now, don't expect the band to kick that willpower into action. All it can do is limit quantities.

My addiction was breads, potatoes, gravies, noodles, etc. And as each year passed, I lost more and more of my ability to limit the quantities of these foods with each meal. The band has been perfect for me.

I would not advise bypass surgery for many personal reasons. But, as Big Paul said, there are many avenues of help that can be explored. I know it's not an easy decision and I know there is no easy answer. I wish you the best in searching for your answer and I wish you wisdom in making your decision.

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I am going for fill number two tomarrow. I have been struggling with the grazing eating style. (If that is even a style). I seem to want to eat small amounts all the time and seem to be almost as out of control now as I was before. I cannot however eat the volume I used to. Hoping the fill will give me more restriction and I will be able to find more control over myself. I am going to go meet with the dietition too because I need to get better informed on what is good and not good for me. I thought I knew but I think it is something I need to relearn. I keep telling myself when temptation strikes "If it is to be it is up to me" It is my motto and I am trying to live by it. No-one can do this for me and the band is a tool and I am trying to change some pretty bad old habits. somedays I win and some days I don't. All in all I try not to beat myself up too much because afterall I (we) are not bad people , just people with bad habits that we need to change. Good luck to all.

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In my case, having gone through surgery, and being self pay (though my mom paid), has helped keep me in some degree of control. I don't workout like I should all the time, but I don't eat lots of things that I shouldn't. Ever now and then I'll get something that I don't usually allow in my house, but it's just every now and then. And there are some things that I just don't do at all (tub o' frosting comes to mind), because I make myself think "I did not go through all that just to sit here and ruin it all". I think the band limits what you can eat, but having the band also kind of empowers me a little to make better choices for the most part.

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Hi, Thanks for your post Marimaru. I just came from the docs office and had a fill. He put a total of 4 cc in my band and I hope that works for me. He had put in 5 cc but I couldn't swallow the Water. He took some back out. Hoping the next few days will be the tell all for restriction. I am certain that I need to meet with the dietitian because I never have andneed more ideas about food restrictons.

Another problem I have is my hair is coming out. I have had this problem before when I have lost weight. I know it will come back but scary none the less. I am going back to a Protein Shake each day. I am sticking to my new motto "if it is to be it is up to me" I repeat repeat repeat all the time. I will change these bad habits if it kills me!!

Darlene

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Well for me...I was just a junk food eater/bad eater......I never ate too healthy....it was always fast food is quicker in my life....but now...even though im still learning the whole eating healthier part...the band has helped me a TRENDMENDOUS amount...I have lost aprox.86 pounds and now I work out everyday(5days) and have a personal trainer 3 days a week....plus I feel better about myself....trust me you do have to learn the "healthy habbits" but I can almost bet we all stray every now and then and will eventually but the band will keep you in control in my opinoin....no matter what just remember it a "Tool" for us to use to Help us not do it for us.....It definitly is a learning process no matter who you are........

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I had NO willpower at the start...

At first when I got the band it was such a struggle and I missed junk food and large portions soooo much. I just wanted a cheeseburger or something. Over time my mind has been trained to eat smaller portions and to do things a certain way. The 1st 6 months was tough but I'm so used to it now it's great. Best decision I have ever made in my life. I am not suffering, and I never really had any willpower. But, it isn't for everyone. You can't stuff yourself, but you won't want to because it hurts to get too full! Good luck!

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I am so glad to hear I am not the only one that struggled with wanting to eat all the time. You are right in saying the band keeps you in control. I had that fill yesterday and I can eat but really put the brakes on me. that is VERY GOOD!! Have to do things much slower and the is VERY GOOD too. It stops me from unconcious eating. Am so looking forward to seeing some progress in the loss of weight. I had a major delay because of a infection in my port site. Was banded on Jan 19 and finnally just got first fill last month Apr 5th. Second one yesterday. I can see now how this is spose to work. I was able to eat almost anything I wanted to and did I guess. Many times I was restricted but not like now. This is better.

Does anyone know what the deal is with the Hair loss? I am in a panic about that. Have a wig lined up but hate to have to use it. I am a hair-dresser so I do have some talent with styling and that is saving the day so far.

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I had a friend that was losing her hair from being to restrided. She was so tight that she could not even get her Protein Drink down but would not go back to Dr. When her hair started coming out she went back and got some taken out. Dr. told her lack of Protein was what was making her hair fall out and over all just bad nutrtion. So hit the Protein Drinks that might help.

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I totally understand where your coming from hay. I felt and thought the same way. In fact , even though I was approved, it took a year of research, going to LB support groups , thinking and reading forums like this before I had my surgery.

I finally decided to do it when I packed onanother 20 lbs, joined WW 2 times during that and started having trouble breathing, walking and washing myself.

I knew then I needed help and it wasn't a diet.

Yes, i still have trouble with my choices. The band is not magic and the same addiction I had pre band I still have with band. But it really is helping me.

Take as long as you need to to come to the decision. Attend support groups, etc.

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Hairagain, I went yesterday for my 2nd fill and I got .3cc, which total 1.3cc. 4cc at one time seems like alot. Good luck with your restriction. I am having great success and did as well with the 1st fill. I can't nor do I want to eat anything until around 12:00 or 1:00pm.

Hi, Thanks for your post Marimaru. I just came from the docs office and had a fill. He put a total of 4 cc in my band and I hope that works for me. He had put in 5 cc but I couldn't swallow the Water. He took some back out. Hoping the next few days will be the tell all for restriction. I am certain that I need to meet with the dietitian because I never have andneed more ideas about food restrictons.

Another problem I have is my hair is coming out. I have had this problem before when I have lost weight. I know it will come back but scary none the less. I am going back to a Protein shake each day. I am sticking to my new motto "if it is to be it is up to me" I repeat repeat repeat all the time. I will change these bad habits if it kills me!!

Darlene

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

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      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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