Marriage problems??

[Ada81 31]

I would just ask him what his issue is. My partner and I broke up for 6 weeks earlier this year and I was gobsmacked - I really didnt see it coming. We had a break and then I went to him and said I really didnt think we were having problems, would you agree to at least talk to me about what went wrong and maybe just maybe try to resolve our problems. He agreed to my huge relief.

We both ended up writing pros and cons of the relationship, discussed what had been bothering both of us (I realised there were a few things that I too wasnt happy with) and we agreed on a way forward. I wont go into details, but by writing down our insecurities and discussing them together over a number of weeks (he needed lots of space between discussions) we got through. Something we also did while we were both thinking about this was that we went on outings as friends where we had a 'no talking about problems' rule. We ended up giggling and enjoying each others company and although frustrating that I couldnt kiss him or grab his hand etc etc I think those afternoons were really special and made us realise why we really did like one another. We have been back together for 4 mths and not had a cross word.

Who knows if my relationship will work out but I am a beliver that with clear communication you can work anything out. The main thing is you both have to be willing to try!

Good luck and look after you xx

[skb123 308]

Well I'm a widow, because he refused WLS that the doctor wanted him to have and he died due to conditions from his weight. I do have a real nice guy friend who at first tried to talk me out of it, but he ended up being very supportive. He told me it was my body, and that is right on! Too bad they do not have support groups for couples it would make it something you could address together that way and he would not feel left out. Just a thought??