Feeling like a failure - starting over after 5 years

[katspaw 20]

So here goes my confession of failure. I was one of the lucky ones who got Ins to pay for my lapband in 2008. In the first 6 months I did loose about 50 pds (Pre/Post included). But I could not stand not drinking while I ate and eventually found that drinking Water after every bite to satisfy my dry mouth, I could eat more and thus my "drug" of food won over the purpose of having the band. I have only had 2 fills and no clue what they were or are. The only "good" thing is the band did prevent me from gaining everything back. But barely because I have sat at 30 pds loss for the last 4.5 years. No gain but no loss either.

So due to stress with my husband and finally getting lab results back that my Trig are starting to get high I started searching for help and have found this great forum with hopes that I can start over again and make it work this time. I don't remember anything about having a lapband and what you need to do so I literally will be starting all over minus the surgery. I have an appt next Tues to see my doc and feel such shame that I ended up failing him and myself but I have to face him to get healthy so I can live a lot longer.

I do appreciate all the great info on he forums but had to confess I am a failure with mine and it seems that is my trophy for being the one who didn't make it work unlike the rest of you. I hope to be sharing my joy soon!

[amw804 3]

Do NOT feel like a failure. I was banded in 2008, lost 70 pounds, gained 30 back and have not done anything since. I recently rejoined this board for support because I am restarting. We are not the only ones. There are plenty of people that have restarted. First, call your surgeon and get back in with him/her and make sure your band is ok and then go from there! We are all here for you and cheering you on!

Sent from my iPad using LapBandTalk

[OnMyWay2Thin 45]

You are definitely not the only one! I'm in the same boat as you and have chosen to take my life back and relose the weight that was gained. I also was banded in 2008, lost 70 pounds and have now regained about 35. I went so far as to get approved for a revision surgery then canceled a week before because I decided I didn't want to change my anatomy. I still contemplate and will have the surgery if I can't succeed this try with the band. I'm trying hard, though... Went to see my doctor and got a fill, reread all the literature, and am back on this board where there are so many success stories I also feel as if I'm the only one who didn't succeed! We're not and they're success can be our launching pad. You've already take the first three steps, 1) you decided to focus on yourself again, 2) you joined this board for support, and 3) you've made you're appointment with the doctor! YOU ARE WELL ON YOUR WAY! I'll look forward to reading your posts and wish you the best of luck - WE CAN DO THIS!!

[katspaw 20]

Thank you amw804. I was wondering if there were others facing the battle like what I was because as I just joined and all I was seeing was the normal struggles people go thru but everyone was doing the right thing and loosing. So I felt like I was alone. I also just saw another posting about someone starting over that I hadn't seen before I posted so I am starting to feel a little better seeing there are others struggling like me. I just might have hope after-all. :-) I am excited and scared all together for my apt on Tues but I need to get this under control finally. My healthy and marriage is more important that food I just have to figure out how to control it. Look forward to posting results as I start this journey again.

[katspaw 20]

Thank you OnMyWay2Thin. It is sooo nice to know I'm not the only one who didn't do it right the first time. Most importantly I don't feel I am alone doing this anymore. I didn't know about this forum even back then so I was alone trying to figure it all out. Now with the help of everyone going thru the same thing I feel I will have a good set of support I can fall back on. I look forward to taking this journey with you as well as we hopefully conquer this beast once and for-all!

[2muchfun 8,928]

Not gaining weight is more of a success than your failure to follow through. You've done so much better than some others who bailed.

Alex, our moderator, posted the link below. This is a string of videos from one of the most renowned bariatric surgeons today, Paul O'Brien. I highly recommend you watch each one, especially the four 9 minute videos. This will re-acquaint you with how the band works and includes some of the newer insights with banding.

http://www.lapbandta...n/#entry1960883

[Maddysgram 6,159]

I wish you all the best.

Failure means you give up and starting over is continuing to succeed.

I was told that more ppl succeed when attending a support group.

This is the best support group, Welcome

[GoingforGoal 1,734]

Hello,

Well my peers summed it up pretty well. Failure is a state of permanency. Don't disillusion yourself into believing that you have reach goal by 'x' date. There are ideals, and than there's practicality. Simply give yourself permission to believe that you will attain the goal.

I was banded 11-09. Lost 50-60 lbs instantly. Got pregnant (surprise!) and gained 20 but lost it instantly. Than I suffered a tragic car accident that set me back another 8 months. I didn't gain any weight because I consider my band to be in 'maintenance mode' (that is how the band can work for you when you are in a weak moment). So in Feb of this year I started again and from 195 (size 16) from the holidays, I am 165 (sz 10). I feel great and in no way feel like I've failed.

I think once you get back on track and the pounds melt off you'll regain that sense of accomplishment again and will begin to reinstate positive thinking. You can do it.

PS I know many people who state that they are embarrassed to face their doctors. I'm a realist, I say..he's just a resource. He's there to support you so use him as the resource he is. He is not the face of judgement so let that go to.

[hely88 883]

My advice as far as getting back on track is letting go of the guilt. It will just weigh you down. Get your doctor's guidelines and just get back on track. weigh and measure foods and track your days. I was banded 4 years ago lost some then gave up. Took me till This last October to get back on track. If I can do it anyone can. I have lost 95.2 so far and this time I know I will go all the way. Best of luck to you!!

[katspaw 20]

Wow.... I am in awe of you guys and your awesome words of encouragement. I am so grateful I found this site and finding you guys. I have truly felt alone and am so happy to read your words of help & encouragement. I just started watching the video's that 2muchfun sent me and I never got that kind of information from my actual doctor. Wow... so informative. I just might have the information I need this time to succeed. Of course, now I'm in fear that I might have stretched out the top portion of my stomach and lost the feeling for good but I will wait and see what comes of my Doc visit before I get too sad. From the bottom of my heart... thank you thank you thank you for your support. It is very touching.